Page 38 of Jeremy
“Notparticularly. I’d prefer it to being murdered while I’m awake, though.” Hislips twitch as I dig into the bags, and munch on an egg roll. “I just unlock itwhen I get up to pee, so I won’t have to when you get here.”
Hetakes a seat beside me while I sift through the junk drawer in the coffeetable. “Here,” I announce, handing him my extra house key. “You can lock it onyour way out and get in without discovering my bloody corpse.”
Heblinks, and hesitates a second before accepting it and adding it to his keyring. “You aren’t funny.”
“Ha!I’m hilarious. You just haven’t quite pulled that stick out of your ass farenough to appreciate my wonderful personality.” He snatches the box of noodlesfrom my hand as I’m talking and shovels in a mouthful. “You’re getting betterthough.”
Apensive expression crosses his face. “I am getting better.”
Myvoice softens when I reply, “It takes time.”
We’vegotten to know each other much better, but the subject of his ex is off limits,as is the story of my past. He knows the person I am now, not who I was, and Iguess the same is true for my knowledge of him.
Hehands the carton back to me and pulls out another. We eat in comfortablesilence for a while. It’s amazing how comfortable we are with each other now.All it took was me being tied to a bed, just not in the way I was hoping.
It’skind of pathetic how much I think and fantasize about him. The sexual onesdon’t bother me, everyone does that, but the others are much more alarming.They’re the kind that hurt, that really twist your guts when you realize it’llnever be that way.
Itry to blame my abundance of downtime and boredom for those times when I allowmy mind to wander into thoughts of us together. Living like the proverbialhappy little family, raising my son. It’s ridiculous, and I know it, but itdoesn’t stop me from doing it.
“So,I hope you got some sleep, because the Dark and Unsolved marathon starts in afew minutes.” He sits back, kicks off his shoes, and props his feet on thecoffee table.
“AllI do is sleep.”
Wefinish eating, and Jeremy puts away the leftovers, grabs one of his orangesodas that has migrated to my fridge, and brings me a bottle of water. Yeah,the man has a thing for orange soda. I straighten out the couch while he’s up,tossing some pillows out of the way, and folding the throw blanket.
Whenhe returns, he sits next to me, which isn’t out of the ordinary, but he’scloser than usual. See how I notice every little thing and try to make it meansomething? Like I said, pathetic.
Theshow starts, and we settle in to watch it. After the first episode, the lightin the room fades as the sun sets. When I reach to turn on the lamp, hechuckles. “Scared to watch in the dark?”
Isnort but leave the lights off.
Episodetwo is nearly over when I reach over and grab the throw blanket. Jeremy scootscloser, hip to hip with me, and pulls the blanket across both of our laps.“There are more in the closet if you want one,” I offer.
Pleasesay no.
“I’mgood.”
Hisarm finds its way across my neck, and I rest my head on his shoulder. We staythat way for a few minutes, before his fingers start stroking my bare shoulder.I’ve never been so glad to have chosen a spaghetti strap camisole. Every inchof skin he touches tingles.
Myhead is spinning. He’s never made any kind of move toward me before. After thatbirthing class, it seemed like he went out of his way to avoid touching me.There have been a few times where I caught him looking at me like I look athim, but I figured it was my imagination coupled with overactive hormones. ThatI was seeing what I wanted to see.
Iturn to look at him, and he’s gazing at me. Our eyes seem to spend an eternitytogether before he brings his palm to my cheek. I’m afraid he’ll be able tohear how fast and hard my heart is beating. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs,and slowly, so slowly I feel like I may explode before it happens, he bringshis lips to mine.
Afeeling I can’t even describe races through my body, lighting me up from myhead to the tip of my toes. It focuses and centers between my legs when hissoft tongue slips between my lips. The little whimper I let out is involuntary.His responding moan is the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard, and it makes me feellike I’m not alone in this. This isn’t some random impulse he’s acting on andmight regret later. He wants me.
Islide my hand around his neck, letting my fingers thread into his hair. It’s sosoft, just like I imagined. My breath catches as he shifts me onto his lapwithout breaking the kiss, and it’s like I can feel him everywhere, his warmth,his scent. I could wallow in it forever and never come up for air.
Whenwe break apart, he presses his forehead to mine while we catch our breath.“I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”
“Notas long as I have.”
Hewraps his arms around me and pulls me against him. I don’t know how long I staythat way, cuddled on his lap, my head resting on his chest as he holds metight.
“Ican’t have sex, you know, until after the baby is born.”
Hischest shakes with a chuckle. “I know. I’m not trying to sleep with you.”
Ihate to ruin this, and I know how much men hate to hear this question, but Ihave to know. It’s not just my feelings I’m looking out for.
