Page 30 of Jeremy
Jeremy’slips tuck in at the corners, and he whispers, “Your chili is fantastic.”
Gigglesspill out of me and it takes me a few moments to get myself under controlagain. I was dreading this class, but he’s made it so enjoyable, so much fun.
Finally,Nellie announces the class is over and the date of the next session. “We’ll beworking on basic baby care skills like swaddling and diapering,” she tells us,as everyone thanks her and files out the door.
Jeremyis parked beside me, and as we approach the cars, awkwardness sets in again.“So, thanks for coming. You didn’t have to.”
“It’sno big deal. You shouldn’t have to do everything alone. I have to run. I haveanother appointment.”
Hebarely spares me a glance as he talks and jumps into his car, driving away asif all the devils of hell are chasing him. From stroking my skin and whisperingin my ear to running away. Hot and cold.
It’sexhausting.
ChapterEight
Jeremy
Iwas only going because I felt sorry for her. Because she was embarrassed to bealone when I’m the deadbeat father who should be the one who’s judged. Itwouldn’t mean anything. That’s what I was telling myself all the way to thecommunity center.
Andeverything was fine. Touching her was a unique torture since I wanted to stripher naked right there and fuck her until we were both exhausted, pregnant ornot. But I was still fine. I can control myself.
UntilI felt it.
Thosetiny taps against my palm.
Kicks.
Madeby my baby’s feet.
Itwasn’t supposed to be like this. I wasn’t supposed to get attached. I wasn’tsupposed to care. I was only doing what felt right to care for my kid…which Iplanned to do from a distance. It’s clear that’s what she would prefer as well,since she hasn’t told me the baby is mine.
Fuck,I don’t know what to do anymore. I need to stay away and get my head straightto deal with this cult bullshit, or I’m going to screw up and get myself killed.Or locked up. No kid wants a father in prison.
Iwasn’t lying when I said I had another appointment. I’ve visited True Life afew times now, and I’m getting a feel for the place. The people in the trailerslead a meager, pathetic existence, while the First Men reap the benefits, as Iexpected. I also know from the whispers and general air around me thatsomething is up. They’re planning something, and I need to find out what it is.
Today,Anthony texted me to meet him at the Big House. On my last visit, he gave me anold flip phone “in case of emergency” since he believes I don’t have a phone.My real phone remains locked in the console of my car when I’m at True Life.
Multiplecars wait outside the Big House, and I surreptitiously jot down the platenumbers before heading inside. I know I’m beginning to earn his trust and Isuspect they plan to test me in some way soon, to see whether I’ll have theirback.
“Jeremy!”Anthony calls out as I enter. “Come on in! You want a beer?”
“Always,”I reply, and he laughs, tossing me one.
Shaunisn’t present, but Hudson, who I’ve discovered is their second in command,gives me a nod from the opposite side of the pool table. Kevin and Jose, twodevout followers I think of as the goons, enter right after me.
Kevingrins and fidgets like a toddler about to piss himself. “We ready to do this?”
Anthonyholds up his finger toward him and pulls me aside. “Listen, we have to pick upsome supplies today from a guy I don’t trust much. He’s an outsider. I needsomeone to act as backup, a little more muscle just for insurance, youunderstand. In case things go wrong. I’m probably being overly cautious, but itcomes with the territory.
“Wouldyou be willing to go with Hudson to pick up the supplies?” A flash of betrayalflashes across Kevin’s face. He reigns it in, but he can’t hide hisdisappointment.
“Yeah,no problem.”
That’sme, agreeable as hell. Though my guard is up, and alarms are ringing in myhead. Is it possible they’ve found out who I really am? I can’t see how, butit’s best to be cautious. More likely, this is that test I expected.
Hudsonkeeps his eyes on mine as he asks, “Are you familiar with guns? Got anyexperience with them?”
“Igrew up shooting,” I lie. I didn’t grow up with them, but I can sure as hellhandle them now.
