Page 15 of Jeremy
“Somebleeding in the first trimester isn’t uncommon. We’re going to do an ultrasoundand see how far along you are.”
Ilie back on the table while the nurse squirts clear jelly on my abdomen and thedoctor presses the wand against it. He doesn’t say anything at first, justshifts it around, taking measurements. Finally, he says, “Everything looksgood. I’m going to put you about twelve weeks along.”
Twelveweeks. That last night he visited me.
Thedoctor produces another smaller wand and the instant it touches my stomach, apulsing sound fills the small space.
“Strongand healthy,” the doctor says, and the nurse smiles down at me.
Ihear its heartbeat. Its tiny little heartbeat.
Anemotion I don’t recognize overwhelms me, and tears fill my eyes. It’s real.There’s a tiny human, a tiny part of me, growing inside of me.
“Gender,”I croak. “Can you tell?”
“Notfor another month or two. If you have no problems in the meantime, we’llschedule your next ultrasound in eight weeks. You may be able to find outthen.” He stands up and writes on the chart while the nurse wipes off mystomach and allows me to sit up. “We’ll get some blood drawn today, and you’llneed to get your pre-natal vitamins. They can be found at any pharmacy.”
Hisface turns serious as he asks, “Do you smoke, use any illegal drugs, or drinkalcohol?”
“Nodrugs or smoking. I drink a few times per year.” I can feel the blood drainfrom my face. “I drank a few weeks ago. One night, but…it was a lot.”
Hiscalm smile is reassuring. “It’s fine. But no more alcohol from this pointforward.”
“Ofcourse.”
Therest of the appointment passes in a haze. Any thoughts I had of terminationfled the second I heard the heartbeat. No matter the circumstances, the lifegrowing inside of me isn’t going to pay for the mistakes of its father.
Agnesis practically waiting at the door when I return. “Well?”
“Thebaby is fine. I’m twelve weeks along.”
“Mercy!You’re just like my sister. She didn’t show at all until she was nearly sevenmonths. I was showing before I missed a period!”
Herexaggeration makes me laugh, but I’m exhausted. As if she’s reading my mind,she says, “Go take a nap. You look worn out.”
“I’mthe one supposed to be taking care of you, remember?”
“Amosis picking me up. We’re going to the all you can eat pasta night. I’ll bringyou back some spaghetti.”
Huggingher, I reply, “Sounds good. So does that nap.”
Afterhesitating a moment, she asks, “Who is the father, hun?”
“I’d…rathernot say.”
Hereyes narrow. “It’s that no-goodnik from next door isn’t it?”
Ican understand why she’d think so. I told her a little about the night I spentthere, but not everything, and she has no reason to think I haven’t been seeinghim from the beginning.
“Ireally don’t want to talk about it. He won’t be in the picture. I can do thisalone.”
Smiling,she hugs me again. “Yes, you can. But you aren’t alone.”
ChapterFour
Jeremy
It’sgetting chilly out, but the woman is right where my research said she would be,in front of the weekly farmer’s market. Wrapping her sweater around hertighter, she waves a flyer at people walking past, who largely ignore her.Undaunted, she keeps trying.
