Page 55 of Tucker
She’ssilent for a few minutes. “I hope you get to reunite with them someday. I don’tsee my mom either.”
I’vewanted to ask her about her past since the first time I kissed her, but I’malso afraid of upsetting her or saying the wrong thing.
Iscoot up until I’m sitting with my back against the headboard and she lays herhead in my lap. I’ve learned she loves it when I play with her hair and I wantto put her at ease since I know it’s hard to talk about.
“Willyou tell me what happened, Leah? Are you estranged from your mother because ofthe abuse?”
“Yes.I tried to tell her what he was doing, but she never believed me. I figured ifmy own mother didn’t believe me, no one else would. I didn’t want my dad to beangry at me for accusing his brother so I kept my mouth shut. Dad died when Iwas almost sixteen and we moved away from his brother. I thought it was over.
“Butthen mom arranged for them to come and visit. They were going to stay a weekand I just…couldn’t. I told Derek and you know how that turned out. He spentthree years in prison for beating Uncle Howard until he was paralyzed.”
“Hedid what any real brother would do,” I tell her.
“Andhe gave up three years of his life for it.” Her voice betrays the guilt shestill feels.
Shesits up, and I pull her into my lap. “And he doesn’t regret a day of it,sweetheart. That I know for sure.”
“Doyou want to tell me what he did to you?” I won’t push her, but I’m hoping itnever went beyond touching.
Herchest heaves on a deep sigh. “It started as touching, but by ten it wasintercourse. He said that was my fault because I wouldn’t blow him.” I don’tknow how Dare resisted killing the fucker.
Herarms wrap around me and I look down at her. “Leah, when we slept together, if Idid anything to hurt you…” It’s been on my mind ever since that night. At thetime, I never even thought that I might be dragging up bad memories or that shemight have some problems with sex because of what happened to her.
“Youdidn’t,” she says quickly. “I’ve been through therapy to help me deal witheverything, but my sex life has never really been affected. I dealt with a lotof guilt, mostly. I thought I must’ve done something to lead him on, even ateight years old. I know that’s not true now.”
Shesits back and looks me in the eye. “I don’t want you to see me as some damagedperson or worry about traumatizing me when we’re in bed. I promise it’s not anissue.”
She’stearing my heart out. “I’d never see you as damaged. I see a strong, beautifulwoman who gives me a constant hard on.”
Shegiggles which was the response I was hoping for to lighten the mood. “And I seea broody man who tries to hide his kindness. And also makes me want to take offmy panties every time he enters a room.”
“Isthat the kind of dirty stuff you write in your book?”
Giggling,she looks up at me. “What makes you think I write dirty stuff?” Her eyes widenand she sits up straighter. “Did you read my book?”
“Ihave it, but I couldn’t make myself read it. I was trying to get over you. Now,you can bet I’ll read it.” A blush climbs her cheeks. “What? You don’t want meto?”
“Imay have…drawn a little bit from my life and my time here.”
“Areyou trying to tell me I’m in the book?”
“No!Well…parts of you, I guess. And there’s this sex scene…I just don’t want you tothink I’m a freak.”
“Oh,now I’m definitely reading it.”
Chapter Sixteen
Leah
“Anhour, I promise. No more than that. He’s been a good friend to me. I owe it tohim to end it in person.”
Tuckerisn’t crazy about the idea of me meeting with Quinn to officially break thingsoff. I feel guilty, but I know I shouldn’t. Quinn and I weren’t exclusive andwe hadn’t even slept together yet. I’ve slept in Tucker’s bed for the lastweek, but we’ve only held each other. I haven’t done anything wrong, but I knowQuinn will be disappointed and I hate to hurt him.
Itold Quinn when we started seeing each other I wasn’t ready for anythingserious. I was just doing my best to move on when every day began and endedwith thoughts of Tucker. It was like he was haunting me.
Tuckernods, his lips pressed together. He isn’t going to try to stop me, but he’s notgoing to pretend to be happy about it. “I expect you to have dinner ready whenI get back,” I tease as I open the front door. “There’s an apron hanging on thewall.”
Quinnis waiting at the nearby park where I arranged to meet him. He stands from thepark bench and hugs me. “Hey, how are you doing?”
