Page 65 of Justus
Shejerks her head to look at me. “What?”
“I’msorry, Sade. I love you. I do, but all this with Hannah…you don’t realize whatyou’re getting yourself into. It’ll be years of rehab and therapy and I don’tknow how she’ll come out of it. I love you, hell, I need you, but she needs me,and I have to put her first. I can’t drag you into it. What you did for me lastnight…” I swallow the lump in my throat. “Getting all my friends together likethat, surprising me for my birthday. No one has ever done anything like thatfor me before. I’ll never forget it.
“Butlook how it ended. She ran off, and I got too damn drunk to do anything. Ifailed her again. I can’t drop the ball like that again. I can’t just go arounddoing what I want like I did before when she’s counting on me. You don’tdeserve to come second. You don’t deserve this.”
Silenceblankets the room and the tense seconds drag by while I wait for Sadie torespond. Her cheeks flare and her eyes narrow. I don’t know what I expected.Tears maybe, but she isn’t hurt. She’s furious. And she’d be more furious ifshe knew how fucking adorable she is when she’s mad, how much I want to bendher over this table right now.
“First,”she says, her jaw clenched. “You didn’t fail her. Your parents and the systemdid. None of this is your fault. There’s nothing wrong with getting drunk onyour birthday. You had no way of knowing she would run away. You can’t put yourlife on hold just waiting for something to happen. And second.”
Thetable rattles as she stands and slams her palms down on it. Leaning over so hereyes are boring into mine she adds, “Fuck you, Justus. You’re right. I don’tdeserve this. I don’t deserve to get jerked around anymore. You think you justget to run in and play hero with my mom, pay for her physical therapy and assoon as you could use a little support, you get to just set me aside? Well,guess what, asshole?”
Sheleans over until I can feel her heated breath on my face. “I’m not goinganywhere.”
“Sadie—
“No!”She stands up and paces the floor. “I get it, Justus. You lost your mother andyour sister, so you’re scared you’ll lose me too. It doesn’t take a shrink tosee your abandonment issues; they’re probably visible from space. You claim noone ever wanted anything but your cock, but when did you ever give one a damnchance? I’m a grown woman and I don’t need you to protect me from anything.
“Andwhat makes you think I’m going to monopolize all your time or take you awayfrom your sister? I have a life too, shit to do that has nothing to do withyou, so get the hell over yourself. And all this ‘it isn’t fair to you’ garbageis just that. It’s a copout, an excuse you’re using because you’re scared. Shithappens and just because things get difficult doesn’t mean we quit. I don’tgive up.”
Crossingher arms, she leans back against the counter. “So, are you going to pull yourhead out of your ass and be with me, or are you going to give up like a pussy?Because I need a man.”
Thiswoman. This fucking woman is going to be the death of me. I don’t even know howI end up in front of her, but before I know it, my mouth slams to hers, and Iown it with my tongue. It’s not enough. I need every inch of her.
Shovingmy groin against hers, I growl, “I’ll show you a fucking man.”
Pushingme away, she snaps, “You can’t solve everything by fucking me.”
Iwatch as she jerks on her shoes and grabs her keys. “Where are you going?”
“Shopping.I need to get the fuck away from you while your balls are still intact.” Sheglares back at me from the doorway. “And in case I didn’t make it clear…I willbe back.” Bounding out the door I can hear her grumbling to herself. I can’treally tell what she’s saying, but I do make out the word dipshit, so I’massuming it’s not complimentary.
Forthe first time in my life, I feel at a loss of what to do about a woman. I’venever had to deal with any of this before. I mean, I’ve pissed chicks offbefore, but never one I cared about. I’d just let them leave and find anotherone.
Ireally was trying to spare Sadie from all the shit in my life right now, but Ialso realize she’s right. I can’t expect her to let me help her if I’m notwilling to do the same. Running my hand through my hair, I grab my phone whenit starts ringing. Without looking at the screen, I press accept, hoping it’sSadie and she’s coming right back.
“Justus?”Hannah’s voice is cautious. “Are you there?”
“Hannah!Are you okay?”
“Yeah,well…I’ve been better, but I’ll be okay. Is Sadie there?”
“No,you aren’t interrupting anything. Don’t worry. Tell me how you’re doing.”
“Ijust wanted to apologize to her for showing up the way I did and thank her forbringing me back.”
Ittakes a second for her words to sink in. “Sadie brought you back to the rehab?”
“Yes,I-I shouldn’t have left. I’m sorry I worried you. She told me you were reallyupset.” A voice mumbles in the background. “I’ve got to go. They only allowedme five minutes. I’m sorry, Justus. I promise I won’t leave again. Are youstill coming to family therapy?”
“It’sokay. I’ll be there. Just take care of yourself, Han. I love you.”
“Loveyou,” she replies, and the line goes dead.
Sadietook Hannah back to rehab? How did she even find her? And the place is an houraway. No wonder Sadie looked like she hadn’t slept much. Shit. I really screwedup and I have no idea what to do about it.
Ican’t go to Dare for advice. Ayda is Sadie’s best friend and I don’t need thebacklash from her. With a sigh, I text Landon.
-Hey,Raisin. You up?-
