Page 32 of Dare
Wasit the scars that scared him away, or is he just another asshole who fucks asmany women as possible? What really hurts is that he knows I can hear him. ThatI know he didn’t go out of town and only used that as a way to escape. He’sshowing me exactly how little last night meant by making me listen to him fuckanother woman while I’m still sore from him. Fuck it. Lesson learned. I won’tfall for any of his bullshit again, although I doubt that’ll be an issue sinceI never plan to speak to him again.
Sunlightbeams in through the living room curtains and I give up trying to sleep,deciding instead to focus on work. Thankfully, Lisa calls a few hours later toask if I can meet with Ryan to work on his routine, and I jump at theopportunity. Sitting in my apartment and picturing him next door wrapped aroundsome woman is torture.
WhenI check my phone, I see a missed call and a voice mail from Dare.“Hey,beautiful. Just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you. Talk to you later.”
Ishe serious? I guess he thinks I’m desperate enough to take what I can get, butdoes he really expect me to be okay with being lied to? That he can tell mehe’s going out of town and I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear him banging someoneelse?
Iknew there was a reason I gave up men. Sighing, I delete the message. Assholeor not, I know I’ll miss him.
Ryanis waiting at the dance studio when I arrive and we get right to work. I throwmyself into the choreography, dancing alongside him until we get it perfect.There are a few moves that I change, things he can do that my limitedrange-of-motion won’t allow. When the music ends again, we drop to the floor tocatch our breath. The sound of applause from behind us alerts me to the factthere is a group of dancers and parents from the advanced class watching. Weused the main studio this time and I didn’t even notice them come in.
“Thatwas amazing!” a woman says, approaching me. “Are you available to do privatelessons? My daughter is having trouble with a new routine.”
“I’msorry. I’m just helping Ryan as a favor for Lisa. I don’t teach.”
Disappointed,the woman nods. “Well, if you change your mind, Lisa has my information. I’dlove to have you work with my daughter.”
Afterassuring the lady I’d call if I changed my mind, I say goodbye to Ryan andchange into my street clothes. Lisa catches me before I can leave.
“Ayda!Ryan’s routine looks amazing. I’ve had requests from three different parentsfor private lessons.”
Ican’t deny the little spike of happiness I feel. I’ve avoided dancing in publicever since I was attacked. To me, dance is about displaying the human body withgrace and beauty, and my beauty is long gone. I assumed it would be awkward, ifnot downright horrifying to have to face those in the dance world with such ascarred body. It’s been suggested before that I teach, but I didn’t want todeal with cringing parents or kids who may be repulsed or even frightened.
MaybeI was wrong. Working with Ryan has brought back so much of the joy I used tofeel when I danced. Maybe I can still be a part of the world I love, instead ofdancing at night to block out the loneliness. I could pass on what I know andhelp these kids accomplish what I couldn’t.
Lisawatches my internal struggle. “I’m not asking you to teach full time,” shepoints out, her voice soft. “Just a few hours a week, one on one with thestudents who are competing.”
“Okay,”I blurt.
Lisa’seyebrows jump and a smile bursts across her face. “You’ll do it?”
“Let’ssay, two days per week? Two students per day? And you choose the students.”
“Yes!Great! Fantastic! I’ll set it up!”
Walkingto my car, I worry over my impulsive decision, but I also realize something.I’m looking forward to it.
Mymood plummets when my phone rings, and Dare’s number pops up. I quickly rejectthe call. The man has balls the size of Texas. He has to know I heard himfucking someone else not even twenty-four hours after he left my bed. It’s not likewe’re exclusive, but I’m also not getting involved with a guy who fucksanything that moves.
Iknew sleeping with him would be a mistake, that I’d lose him as a friend, whenI don’t have a lot of those to sacrifice. Maybe we’ll eventually be able to goback to hanging out, but I won’t be fucking him again.
Ihave to admit, he’s been good for me, though. He’s given me some of myconfidence back, and I’m not going to go back to hiding in my apartment justbecause it didn’t work out. Maybe there are some things I can’t have out oflife, like love or marriage, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try for more than Ihave now, like friendship and a fulfilling career.
Don’tget me wrong, I like the work I do in graphic art, and I’ll balance it with theteaching, but I need something to do that would force me to leave the house.Sadie will be thrilled when I tell her.
ChapterEight
Dare
WhenMason called, I assumed he needed me to hack something or find out someinformation on someone. I didn’t expect a security job, but I couldn’t say no.He and his brothers who run Striking Back, a domestic violence shelter, alwaysstep in whenever we need them, and they must be short handed to ask me to guarda family when I’ve never done it before.
Hecalls me when I’m almost to the house. “All you have to do is stay with them.I’ve moved them over one hundred fifty miles from her husband, so I don’texpect he’ll find them, but I need someone there just in case. Since you’re bigas a damn house, you’re nominated. Alex will be there Monday morning to relieveyou,” he says.
“Gotit.”
Threedays trapped in a house with strangers. I’m glad I brought my laptop. Ayda hasgiven me next to no information about who hurt her, but since she revealed itwas a senator’s son and how long ago it happened, I know I can find out. Thesenator in question may have been able to keep it off the news, but theinternet is not as forgiving, and I know there will be blog posts and chatsabout it. I just have to dig them up.
Mymind wanders back to Ayda. Her hot little body under me, panting and calling myname. I knew there was a dirty girl hiding beneath that reserved manner. Shecan’t hide from me. I could see the fear and trepidation in her gaze when I ranmy fingers over her scars, and it pissed me off. What the hell has she heardfrom those past assholes to make her so ashamed of something that was done toher, not by her?
