Page 4 of Dare
“Notreally.”
“It’sDare.”
“Ofcourse it is. Gang name or general alias?”
Hislaugh rumbles through the wall. “Short for Derek.”
“Great.Nice to meet you. Going back to my show now that the porn sounds have stopped.”
“Jealousyis such an ugly emotion.”
Ugh!This man is so frustrating! “Go fuck yourself.”
“That’syour department, sweetheart. Your vibrator isn’t as quiet as you think it is.”Damn it. I never even thought about that. What kind of jerk points that out?“No reply to that one?” he asks, and I refuse to answer.
Pissedoff and embarrassed, I press play and try to focus on my show. My mind keepswandering and I catch myself trying to picture him in his room. Is he asleep?Stretched out in bed in boxers? Naked? My dirty mind just has to go there. Hewasn’t far off earlier when he said I need to get laid.
Twentyminutes later, I give up and turn off the T.V. Just as I’m starting to doze Ihear his voice. “Good night, Ayda.”
Asshole.
Iwake to the sound of thunder shaking the apartment. Torrential rain rattles thewindows while I flop on the couch with a piece of toast and a new book. Stormydays are meant to be spent curled up on the couch with a good book. The windhas knocked my internet out as usual, so I feel totally justified in taking theday off from work.
Aftera few hours, I manage to drag my lazy ass from the couch to the bathtub, soakinguntil the water gets cold. A dull roar from next door tells me Dare is taking ashower, and I can’t help but try to picture him, all naked and wet, probablygetting ready for a date. I haven’t been on a date in over five years, and Idon’t see it happening anytime in the near future. He hit a nerve when he saidI’m jealous, not of him, but of anyone who has a normal sex life when chancesare I never will.
It’stimes like these I try to count my blessings. I’m alive, and generally in goodhealth. The scar tissue causes me some pain, but nothing like the agony Isurvived after the burns. I have enough money to take care of myself, a roofover my head, food in my stomach, and a good friend. That’s more than a lot ofpeople ever get and I’m grateful.
Withoutbrooding any further about my permanently single status, I pull on my jeans anda t-shirt. It’s after nine when I grab my duffel that holds my dance gear andhead out the door. The good thing about being a night owl is I rarely have todeal with much traffic. Only ten minutes after I leave the house, I’m unlockingthe door to the On Pointe Dance School.
Thelast class ended at eight, so the place is dark and silent. I flip on thelights, illuminating the shimmering wooden floor and wall to wall mirrors.Sadie’s sister, Lisa, owns the studio, and when Sadie found out I used todance, she arranged for me to come after hours to practice as part of my rehab.That was a few years ago and Lisa has since given me a key and permission tocome at night. She also asked me to consider a job teaching here, but I’m notready for that.
I’mhappy practicing alone, or occasionally with Sadie. I started ballet lessonswhen I was eight and fell in love with it. When I’m dancing, I don’t feel thepull of skin or the pain that comes along with it. There’s only the floorbeneath my feet, the wind whipping across my body, the music filling the worldwith beauty.
WhenI emerge from the dressing room in my leotard and tights, Sadie is diggingthrough a box of CD’s. “Hey girl, want anything in particular?”
“Anythingis fine until we’re warmed up. I brought my iPod for the choreography I wantyour help with.”
“Youknow I can’t choreograph to save my wide ass. You should come during businesshours and have Lisa help.”
“I’llthink about it,” I lie. We laugh and chat while we run through our stretchesand warm up at the barre.
Asmuch as I adore dancing, it’s bittersweet. I had just been accepted in thecorps de ballet for a prestigious dance company in New York when Talbot tookthat chance away from me forever. It’s taken years to get to the point where mybody can handle ballet again, but I’ll never get full range of motion back. Addthat to the fact that ballet is about beauty, the beauty of the dance and thedancer, and you can understand why my plans changed.
Still,dance is my escape, and when Sadie and I leave a few hours later, I’mexhausted, sweaty, and perfectly content.
I’mstarving when I return home. Dancing always makes me hungry and it’s also thereason I can pretty much eat whatever I want without gaining weight. It makesup for the fact that my job is so sedentary.
Athump rattles the kitchen, followed by the sound of a chair being scrapedacross the floor. What the hell is Dare doing over there? I probably don’t wantto know. As I fry some sausage and peppers, I hear a mixture of male and femalelaughter coming from next door as well. Great. He’d better not keep me up allnight with his bedroom antics.
Twoscrambled eggs get tossed into a skillet before I add the sausage and peppersto make an omelet. I can’t stand to eat eggs for breakfast, but dinner isanother story. “Damn! Something smells good,” Dare announces. “What are youcooking?”
Iswear he’s so loud he could be right beside me instead of standing in hiskitchen on the other side of the wall. Ignoring him, I slide the omelet on aplate, grab a glass of grape juice, and head to the living room. My favoriteshow is on, full of zombies and gore. By the time it’s over, my eyes aregetting heavy, so I move to my bedroom. One of the comedy podcasts I listen tohas released, so I find it on my tablet and hit play before snuggling under thecovers.
I’venever been able to fall asleep quickly. My brain just won’t cooperate, and Ifind myself thinking too much about the past, so I usually fall asleep withsomething playing to distract me, a T.V. show, podcast, or audiobook. Itdoesn’t matter which as long as I can listen to something other than my owninternal dialogue that’s so depressing. It’s weird, because while I’m notexuberantly happy, most of the time I’m content.
“Whatthe hell are you listening to?” Dare’s voice rumbles through the wall.
Really?Can’t he just pretend he can’t hear me? We’ve done it for nearly a year. Idecide the best plan is to ignore him.
