Page 15 of Book Boyfriend
Still, I refuse to Google him. I know it’s silly, but I’d rather fantasize about him as the ideal man than find out he’s a douche. I think if I searched him, it would ruin my chances of writing another book. I couldn’t write Penn as the sexy alpha male he is if I found out Fisher wasn’t like him at all. He’s my muse.
But, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about looking him up. I’d kill to see a picture of him. Deep down inside I know one image would be like my personal crack and I’d end up searching for him day and night until I knew everything there was to know.
I refuse to do it. Instead, I think about that one amazing night on the beach and try to let the rest go. Forgetting him would be easier if I had a man in my life, but I still have no desire to date. It’s just me and my books. I’m fine with the way things are. At least, that’s what I tell myself on lonely nights. No one needs to know that thinking about him is the only way I orgasm anymore. It’s so pathetic. I need to get a life.
I tug my hair back and twist the tie around it until it’s out of my face. I don’t care what I look like. I usually don’t think about it much unless I’m going to be around people I don’t know.
When Luna insisted I come here three times a week, I told her that after today, she should expect me here in my pajamas. I can hardly wait to prove to her that I was serious. I’m about ready to take off these dress pants and sit in my underwear.
“See? Isn’t this nice?”
Briefly lifting my eyes from the screen, I scowl at Luna as she stands in the doorway.
“That’s an attractive look for you. Should I grab the camera? We can use that as the next image for the back of your books.”
“Fuck off. I’m trying to write.”
She practically skips to my desk and I grab the laptop away from her prying eyes before she sees the blank page.
“Oh come on!”
“No. You’ll have to wait just like you do when I’m at home.” I unbutton the top button of my pants and untuck my blouse to cover it.
“You look really nice today.” She tries not to laugh when she says it, but she can’t control herself.
“I’m wearing sweats on Wednesday. Be prepared.”
“I don’t care what you wear as long as I get to squeeze you once a day. It’ll almost be like the old days when you were the first person I saw in the morning.”
“First of all, we haven’t roomed together since freshman year in college and that lasted a whole semester because I couldn’t stand the constant influx of various men. I was rarely the first person you saw and we both know it.”
“Minor details. Did you start an outline?”
I swallow hard and gaze at the door, searching for something to distract Luna from her question. “Did I mention that Brenna is a real sweetheart? You should give her a raise.”
Luna furrows her brows and sits on the corner of my desk, crossing her arms. “Let me see what you’ve written.”
“No. I’m not ready for you to read it yet.”
She shakes her head. “You lie for shit. You haven’t written anything, have you?”
I huff like I’m offended. “I’ll have you know that I was about to type before you came barging in here.”
She smirks. “You’ve got this. You know that, don’t you?”
I smile weakly. “Of course.”
She gazes up at the clock on the wall. “I have a conference call. I’ll see you for lunch?”
“Yes. You’re taking me out and you’re buying.”
As she leaves the office, I place my laptop back on my desk and grab ahold of the mouse, tapping it nervously. Where do I begin?
It’s almost noon when Brenna knocks on my door. “Delivery!”
I quickly click on the close tab so she doesn’t see or hear the video of the skating dog I was watching.
“Sorry to interrupt, but this came for you!”
