Page 97 of Waiting to Lose
SHE WATCHED HIM stuff his things into his bag. She shifted from one foot to another, biting her nail. Last night they’d ordered a pizza after Madi insisted she wanted to keep their relationship quiet until after graduation and after Peter Markum’s court date. He called an angry Caleb and explained that he would be in New York in plenty of time for the sound check. She tried to study as he flipped through TV channels, but she always caught him staring at her. His intense deep-blue eyes made it hard for her to focus.
They talked about his tour and what he wanted to do next. He told her how he had planned to devote more time to his charity. She talked about school and her internship. They discussed the events leading up to his drugging and racked their brains for motives. They cuddled on the bed and turned out the lights, thinking they’d watch a little of a movie. The next thing she knew, his phone alarm told them it was 5:00 a.m. Disappointment coursed through her veins. She’d wanted to make love to him and give herself to him fully, but now there wasn’t any time.
She could feel familiar pangs of ache as she watched him lace up his boots. He straightened his pants with his hands before turning to face her. “Come here,” he said, curling his finger toward her.
She rushed to him and hugged him close as she placed her arms around his neck, taking a deep breath, both to steady herself and to remember how he smelled.
“Seven days, four hours, and sixteen minutes,” he whispered in her ear.
She nodded, afraid that if she tried to speak, she might cry.
“No opening emails from unknown senders. Just tell Rob,” he ordered into her neck.
Again, she nodded.
“Believe nothing you hear unless it comes from Rob or me, please. I’m going to figure out how to make this right.”
She tightened her hold on him.
“I know you still have all these questions and concerns inside your brilliant yet over-analytical mind. Try… Please just try to not overanalyze things. Just remember what I said. Please trust me. I swear to you that I love you and only you.”
She pulled back and cupped his beautiful, chiseled face in her hands. “I know you do. Thank you for coming here. For fighting for us. For cancelling a concert and disappointing thousands for me. I know how hard that must have been for you.”
“I’d do anything to keep you happy and safe. I know I don’t deserve you. I know this life I lead is a fucked up mess, but if you’ll stick it out, I promise you that I will try to make every chance you take on me worth it with the love and pure devotion I return to you.”
She smiled and closed her eyes. “You did it again.”
“What?” he asked, kissing her cheek and sniffing her neck.
“Said the perfect thing.”
“Hmm…” he whispered.
“You still want me here for Thanksgiving?” he asked with furrowed brows.
“Of course I do. As long as you think you can handle my crazy family. We are definitely not the Morgans.”
“I look forward to your father skeptically watching my every move, your mother’s questions about my intentions with her stunning daughter, and your brothers… Well, I don’t know if they’re going to hate me for bedding their little sister, or love me for taking you off their hands.”
“Probably both,” she smiled. “Can I walk you out, or is that bad?” she asked.
“Don’t you remember what I said?”
Madi nodded as she reached for her coat.
Jake lifted it from her hands and helped her put her arms through. She turned and he pulled the zipper up her chest.
“I’m sorry we fell asleep last night,” she added. “It was my intention to give you all the staring you desperately craved.”
He smiled hungrily at her lips. “We have plenty of time for that. I was happy you let me hold you.” He fisted her coat collar in his hands as he gazed into her eyes. “I’m going to kiss you here, because if I kiss you out there the way I want to kiss you, campus police may arrest me for a public display of indecency.”
Madi inhaled and nodded.
He bent his head to the side and lifted her chin. His lips parted as he tenderly kissed her lips. He sighed into her mouth as she opened it, and he slid his tongue against hers, pulling her body to his. She feverishly tugged on his hair as his hands slid down her back to cup her ass. She moaned at his touch and pushed against him. He bent slightly as he moved himself against her.
“God, Madi… I wish I had more time.”
“Please don’t go. Stay. Make love to me.”
