Page 21 of Waiting to Lose
MADI WOKE UP earlier than usual after barely sleeping during the night. She couldn’t stop thinking about her conversation with Jake. His excuse for having her followed seemed simple, so why would he need to see her face to face to tell her? There had to be more to it. Whatever was really going on, it must have been serious if it meant she had to have a guard. Before she’d hung up with him, she agreed to not give Nate any more grief. She mentally berated herself for getting caught up in online rumors and for doubting his commitment to her.
She sat up on her bed with her knees curled up in front of her and stared out the window. The rain was falling gently from the sky onto the few remaining leaves on the trees. The grey skies matched her mood. The soft patter of rain and the distant rumble of thunder gave her peace. Madi sipped on her coffee and thought through her schedule for the next few days: two classes today, one tomorrow, and two Friday before her flight to L.A. She still had three hours until her first class, but there was no way she was going to be able to sleep any more. Needing a positive distraction, she opened the closet and removed her bag to begin packing for her trip.
No sooner had she thought of him than her phone buzzed. Madi picked it up and smiled at his text. He was up early. She wondered ifhe’dslept at all either.
Jake: Couldn’t sleep. Just wanted you to know I love you.
Madi: I love that you love me. I couldn’t sleep either. Miss you.
She put down her phone, thinking the conversation was over. Her phone buzzed again.
Jake: Tomorrow after my concert, I’m flying down there to be with you. Tell Kendra you’re mine for the night.
Madi felt panicked. He couldn’t come down. She was going up, or over, or wherever it was she was going. What could she say?
Madi: That’s so sweet of you, but I took extra shifts Thursday and Friday night. I decided not to go to the party after all and work instead.
Jake: I’m still coming. I need to see you. I need to put my arms around you and make you feel how much you mean to me.
Madi’s heart ached. She walked the length of the room as she tried to come up with the right words to say. He was amazing. Her heart filled with love for him, knowing he’d come down in a second if she needed him. If she weren’t already coming to surprise him, she would have screamed with joy. Now she needed to steer him away.
Madi: I know how much I mean to you. I really do. Please just stay there. I promise we’re fine. We’re more than fine. I love you for wanting to rush to my side, but you promised Trey you’d be there for him and you can’t let him down.
There was a long pause, and Madi worried he might think she didn’t want to see him. His responding text confirmed her suspicion.
Jake: Okay.
Madi fell into her desk chair. This day was going to suck. She just pushed him away and he didn’t know why. She could imagine his pained expression while reading the text. She hoped and prayed time would move quickly. She needed him and she knew he needed her. She couldn’t wait to throw her arms around him and feel his lips on hers.
If they were going to make this work, they needed to be together. Once again, she considered the possibility of moving to L.A. She knew Jake wanted her there. It’s where he needed to be for his work. Could she bend for him? As much as she loved him and the city, it scared her to be so far from home. She’d have to find a job out there and she probably wouldn’t have enough time off to come home very often. She’d miss her parents and Kendra terribly. When she was there for the summer, she felt fine, but she also knew she was coming home after a couple of months. Moving out there in May would be permanent. Could she do it? Madi weighed being apart from her family versus being away from Jake. The idea of not being with him made it hard to breathe.
When they first met, she was attracted to who she thought he was as a musician, but seeing him around his friends and family brought out a whole different side of him. Something had changed in her when she was near him. He had an energy about him that drew her in like a magnet. Madi loved that he was fiercely protective of the people he cared for and incredibly loving toward his family, especially his sister. He was real. He might have been a control freak, but the way he took charge of a room and any problem was hotter than hell. She loved his sense of humor and even the way he pushed his hands through his hair when he was frustrated. She loved that they could talk about anything and everything. She loved that he confided in her and she could tell him her deepest, darkest fears, and that he would understand. He didn’t even mind her need to overanalyze, although sometimes it got her into trouble. She needed to trust him more, but he was going to have to stop keeping secrets from her. They would need to really clear up that whole issue, and fast. If this was going to work, she’d have to worry less and he’d have to tell her more.
Madi stood, stretched and continued to pack. Thinking about flying to see him made her heart ache. She hated not telling him the real reason he couldn’t come to see her, although knowing she’d be surprising him made it hurt a little less. She opened her underwear drawer and saw the red panties and garter belts. She snickered as she pulled them out. On Halloween, she would be wearing these with the red short shorts and flame-colored shirt Ang’s sister was making for her. She smiled at the thought of Jake’s face when he saw them again. This time there would be no drinking and he’d get to remove them himself.
After deciding on several outfits, Madi packed her bag and placed it by the door. She laid a pair of jeans and a sweater on her bed to wear to class and sat down at her computer to check her emails again. There was an email from the same address as the last one with a picture of Jake. This one had no title. Madi softly bit on her nail as she contemplated whether or not to open it up. Curiosity got the best of her. “Be careful around him. He’s not telling you everything.” Madi closed the email immediately. Who was sending this stuff to her and why? What did they know that she didn’t? It made no sense. How did they even know her address to begin with? Maybe she should tell Jake. She stood and bit her nail again before releasing it and twirling her hair instead. He already seemed worried about something and she didn’t want to make it worse.
Madi undressed, slid into her robe, and made her way toward the showers. Her thoughts returned to Jake as she stepped into the warm water. She wondered where she would be spending the night Friday. She smiled as she realized it was probably in the four-poster bed in his room. It really didn’t matter where she slept. As long as they were together, everything would always be okay.
