Page 13 of Mountain Man's Longing
The narrative I’ve carried since childhood begins to shift, though I’m not ready to let my guard down completely. The man Rhys describes sounds nothing like the irresponsible jerk my mother painted, but twenty-two years of believing one story doesn’t disappear in a single conversation.
“What can I get you two?”
“Just water for me,” I say. “For now.”
“Same here,” my father adds.
Rhys nods with quiet understanding that there’s something going on between Eric and me. “Take any seat you like.”
Eric defers to me, and I lead us to a high-top by the windows. He settles onto the tall chair across the table from me, and something in his posture shifts. His shoulders hunch slightly, and he can’t quite meet my eyes. He looks…uncertain. As if he’s afraid I might disappear if he says the wrong thing. The vulnerability cracks open something between my ribs. He’s as nervous about this conversation as I am.
Rhys approaches and sets down two glasses of water.
“Holler if you need anything else,” he offers before retreating to the far end of the bar.
“So…” Eric starts, wrapping his hands around his glass. “How’s your mother? How’s Caroline?”
It strikes me as odd that he asks about my mother, but she was the one he knew. The one he… I shake my head as if to ward off the image of the two of them having sex. Even if it was over twenty years ago. I keep my voice neutral. “Married. To my stepfather since I was five.”
“Good for her. She deserves to be happy.” There’s no resentment in his voice, only genuine warmth. It throws me off balance. In my family, even so much as a mention of a past relationship comes with sharp looks and pursed lips.
“She never talks about you,” I say, not feeling guilty for the accusation in my tone.
“I wouldn’t expect her to.” He takes a sip of water as if to stall. Those familiar green eyes study my face with an intensity that makes me fidget. “What did she tell you? Anything about what happened between us?”
Here it is. The moment I’ve dreaded and craved in equal measure. “She said you got her pregnant and left. That you weren’t a man willing to commit, to accept responsibility.”
The words feel rehearsed because they are. I’ve turned them over in my mind a thousand times, trying to understand how a man could walk away from his child.
Pain flickers across Eric’s features, and his chin drops, as if he expected that. “And you believed her.”
It’s not really a question, but I answer anyway. “I wanted to believe there was more to the story.”
“There is.” His hands tighten around his glass until his knuckles go white. “A lot more.” He pauses, glances around the brewery where a couple at the bar laughs over their craft beers, then back to me.
My heart hammers against my ribs. “What do you mean?”
He leans forward, his voice dropping to barely above a whisper. “What she told you isn’t wrong, exactly. But it’s not the whole truth, either.”
My brows pinch together. “I don’t understand.”
“Your mother didn’t know everything that happened back then. Couldn’t have known, given…” He runs a hand through his hair, leaving it slightly mussed. “The timing was complicated. There were things I couldn’t tell her, agreements that were made.”
The careful way he chooses his words makes my skin prickle. There’s a story here, something bigger than a young man getting scared and running.
“Brenna.” He reaches across the table as if he wants to take my hand then stops himself. “I never wanted to leave you. Walking away from you was the single hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”
Tears sting the backs of my eyes, but I blink them away. I didn’t come here to cry. I came for answers. “Then why did you?”
He heaves a sigh. “Because I was young, working as a ski instructor, and living paycheck to paycheck.” His voice cracks slightly. “Your mother was… God, she was something, and I loved her, I did. But…”
“But what?”
“She came from money and…” His eyes lift to meet mine. “Her parents didn’t think I wasappropriate husband material.”
“You were going to propose?”
“The day I found out she was pregnant. Even though I knew I couldn’t give her—or you—the life you both deserved.”
