Page 56 of Not A Homie, Lover Or Friend
I pulled up to the hotel, staring at the building. Since arriving in the Cove, I’d only come here a few times. The reflection of my intentions when coming here struck me. I thought my life was chaotic, but when life decides to smack you in the face to wake you up, it’s a different kind of chaos. It’s one that breaks you down and forces you to face every decision, every fucked-up thing you’ve done or that someone has done to you.
The bottom line is that everything I had was because of Myles, since I often tried to avoid our mother. When she came out of the hotel door, she dragged her luggage and stood there as if I were the doorman. “Are you going to help me or just stare?” she hissed.
I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to have a mother-daughter talk without the extra, but I knew that would be impossible. Much like me, she was a deflector. I let out a sharp breath before getting out of Fua’s truck. I walked around, snatched her bags and tossed them in the back. “What is your problem? Throwing my shit.”
“You are the problem!” I snapped as I went back around and got in. Moments later, she was huffing and puffing, struggling to get in. “Shit! Is this truck high enough? Ooo, this is nice,” she said once fully inside. “Mm, he got a little coin.”
I shook my head. The first couple of minutes the music spoke for us. However, the longer I drove, the more irritated I became. “Why did you have kids?” I asked.
Her head snapped my way as if she was appalled by what I asked. “Kia, what are you talking about?”
I slammed my hand on the steering wheel. “Ma, stop, please! Why did you have us if you weren’t going to be a mother? Myles and I are fucked up. We’re damaged. The sad part is that we, in some way, are like you. Myles is just now getting to know his daddy and me. I find myself in situations I don’t know how to handle. All I can do is run from them, just as you do when you don’t want to deal with things.”
She sat there taking in what I was saying. “I,” she paused. “I was young when I started having kids. Is it your fault, no. But I was young, and I missed out on a lot. I wanted to live, but the kids just kept coming. I-I don’t know. You and Myles remind me all time that I’ve ruined y’all’s lives. You two,” she shook her head. “You two deserved better, I know. However, you are grown, and you know right from wrong. I cannot be faulted for your decisions. I love all of my kids, whether you or Myles want to believe it or not. I was a young, black, single mom trying the only way I knew how.”
My lips curled up tightly. I knew she meant well and really had no answer, or at least one that would satisfy me. “I hope you do differently for my baby brothers than youtriedto do for us,” I mumbled.
I didn’t even bother to continue as I turned up the music and kept driving until I reached the airport. When I arrived, we both got out. I grabbed her bags, sliding them toward her. The look of shame filled her face. I pulled her in for a hug. “I do love you, Momma. I just want us all to do better,” I whispered in her ear.
“Take care of your brother for a change. Enjoy married life because some of us don’t get that chance. Give me some grandbabies.” She smiled.
I watched as my mother disappeared into the airport. It’s funny how I thought I would be walking back through this very same place, but here I was still in Toussaint, ready to face the new life I prayed for. I walked back around the truck, got in,and headed back to Fua when my phone rang.Porsha?I hadn’t talked to her since my brother’s party. “Hello?” I answered.
“Lakia, hey girl. What you up to?”
I glanced around as if she were lurking somewhere. “On my way home.”
She laughed. “Oh, ok. I wanted to ask you something.”
I rolled my eyes because I knew it had to be about my brother. “I told you he has a girlfriend.
She blew out a breath, “I know. I wanted to ask you about Harvey. How much do you know about her?”
My head flew back because I wasn’t sure what she was up to and the last thing I needed was more shit with Harvey. I’ve been trying to get on her good side, so whatever she thought she was going to get from me, she wasn’t. “I don’t know anything. Look, I’m not sure what you’ve got going on, but my brother doesn’t play about her.”
“Yeah, I know,” she mumbled. “Maybe we can get up and hang out. We never really got to chill.”
As long as it didn’t involve my brother or Harvey, I didn’t have a problem with Porsha, but right now, all I cared about was mending everything I had broken. “That’s cool. I will hit you up when I get time.”
She and I said a few more words, then ended the call. Life was changing for me and the goal was to steer clear of any bullshit.
It had been two weeks, and I had been waiting to hear back from the academy. I had decided to come to the bar early today since everyone had decided to go to Bishop’s Halloween party tonight. Also, on the days that Kareem worked, I wanted to be in the building. I stood behind the bar pouring a drink for a patron when Lakia came busting in the door, excited. “Baby, look!” she said, showing me her phone.
It was acceptance from TSU. She had gotten in. I was so happy for her because I knew how she felt about going back and to know my wife was back on track to the career she’d dreamed about made me excited. She reached over the bar, pulling me down for a kiss. “I’m fucking proud of you,” I muttered in her mouth.
She cheesed. “Thank you.”
We kissed until my eyes landed on the door to see Chevy walking in. He glanced around, then headed toward the bar. He eyed Lakia, then me. “House drink,” he said.
“Well, hello to you too, Chev,” Lakia said to him.
“Sup, Kia.”
He looked at me. “I heard you applied for the academy. Is that true?”
I nodded, and so did he. I fixed him up the house special and slid it to him. He took a swig before he focused his attention back on me. “I’m proud of you. It takes a real nigga to do what he loves despite what he’s been through. It’s real niggas like you that fight for who and what they love, no matter the obstacle. Shit like that is what makes bringing you onto the Zoo worth it.”
I went to say something, but he held up his finger. “And the way you handled the Foe situation. Big nigga energy,” he finished.
