Page 29 of Not A Homie, Lover Or Friend
I never told Kirk I was coming here. When I walked out of his house that day, I said nothing more than goodbye. The phone fell silent for a few seconds, then I heard it: his conniving laugh. “We still share locations, remember?”
Fuck!I pulled the phone away from my ear as I scrolled through my phone to see that I was, in fact, sharing my location.I quickly unshared my location. I placed the phone back to my ear. “Ok and?”
“And I wanted to know if I can see you.”
“No,” I quickly said and hung up.
I knew I had truly messed up, from posting the stupid ass wedding picture to answering the phone when he first called, to lying to everyone about my intentions. I climbed into the bed, trying to figure out how one choice of coming to Toussaint caused all this fucking commotion. This was the time I wanted to be held and told everything would be ok, but even my husband didn’t want me.
Ileft the room irritated. Not only was I pissed at Lakia. I was pissed at Mali when he told me that he and Kareem linked up. The shit he was telling me, I was trying to understand. How did he get wrapped up in some bullshit with that nigga. I don’t know if it was the liquor he’d been drinking or if the nigga was just that stupid. My loyalty was to him, but a bigger part of me felt I needed to involve Chevy. I ran my hand over my face because there was so much going on.
Then, Lakia, man, I was to the point where giving up on her was the only option. I fluffed the pillow lying on the bed in the room adjacent to the master bedroom, where she was. I cracked my neck trying to make myself lie down, but I couldn’t.
Pace. Push up. Pace. Push up.
Why was getting her out of my mind so hard? She couldn’t even be honest with me.
Pace. Push up. Pace. Push up.
I never thought shit would be like this.
Pace. Push up. Pace. Push up.
I’d finally convinced my brain to make me lie down. I stared at the ceiling with a heavy heart. I knew I needed to leave her alone. It had been a month and a half, and we hadn’t progressed. Maybe this relationship, or trying to start one, wasn’t for me. I’ve dated many women but never found myself in anything serious, and I don’t know what made me believe that marrying her would be different. Hell, it only made things with Foe worse.
The sound of the door slowly opening caught my eye. She didn’t say a word; instead, she crept over and stood over me. Lakia removed the towel from her body and climbed into bed with me. “Fua, I’m sorry,” she whispered as she wrapped her arms around me.
I didn’t want to look at her because I felt like this was another one of her games. Her naked body kissed mine, sending a feeling through me, one I tried ignoring. “Fua, I’m not perfect. I’m not, but leaving is the last thing I want to do.”
I closed my eyes slowly. Her touch felt good. Her voice in this moment was soothing. “How do I know that?” I asked.
There was a moment of silence before she climbed on top of me. She grabbed my hands, forcing them around her waist. “Fua I,” she paused. “I left where I was because I had nowhere to go. I,” she paused again. “I was dealing with a man and it got me kicked out of school.”
I glanced up at her. “How did fucking with somebody get you kicked out?”
She pulled her eyes away, then glanced down at me. “He was my professor. I thought I was in love, but I was being taken advantage of.”
There it was, some truth, finally. I didn’t say anything as she continued. “Fua, I was taking care of this man with my brother’s money, and my brother doesn’t know.”
My eyes landed on her, but she placed her fingers on my lips. “I haven’t been to school in almost two years, and my brother doesn’t know.”
I placed my hands behind my head. “Ok.”
She rocked back and forth a little. “You don’t understand. He’s been thinking he’s been paying for school. I’m scared to tell him.”
Now the shit made sense. “You need to tell him,” I told her.
She stopped rocking. “I’m scared. He will lose it if he finds out.”
I wrapped my arms around her waist to give her comfort. “If you cannot be honest with him, what makes you think I would want you to be around me, and you cannot be honest with your family?”
I knew I hit her with that one, but I meant every word, though. I was big on family, and if you could betray someone who had been taking care of you, that makes me believe that I’m no different. Lakia glanced down at me, and although shit looked normal, it wasn’t until I felt her tears hitting my chest that I knew she was crying. I reached out to let my thumb stroke her tears. As I lay there, I stared at her long and hard. I knew she wasn’t perfect, and I wasn’t expecting her to be, but I did want her to own up to the truths, not just to her family.
However, I didn’t want her to feel alone. The rain kissed the window as her light sobs fell in sync with them. My thumb continued to stroke her cheek until it slowly moved down to her full lips. When Sukalati’s eyes closed, I knew she was feeling just as I was. She pecked at my thumb as her body started to rock back and forth. Her chocolate nipples perked, begging me to take them between my teeth. She leaned forward, where our lips were only inches apart. “I—”
“I’m going to take care of you, Sukalati. I’m your husband. That’s my job, do you hear me?”
She nodded slowly. I pulled her face closer and kissed her. The way our tongues engaged with each other was as if they knew they belonged together. A moan escaped her lips as my tongue moved to her neck. I gripped her waist, spinning her, placing her on her back. “After this time, we can do it however we want, but tonight I want to watch you while I please you,” I whispered. “Do not and I mean do not close your eyes.”
