Page 46 of A Wounded Duke's Passion
“So do many men in the ton,” Bridget said.
“Yes, but you like him. He seems fond of you,” Anna insisted. “If you do not wish to wed the Marquess of Thornton, why not try courting His Grace for real? You do not need to pretend.”
“I do,” Bridget said. “He enjoys my company, but he does not wish to court me. Besides, I do not love him.”
But she did like him and thought more about him than a proper lady ought to. Bridget wondered if she might be able to learn more about these sensations that Anthony caused within her. There must be some text besides the mothering and child-bearing manuals that might provide some clue.
Still, being attracted to a man and having physical reactions to him did not mean she loved him. She had wanted a love match. Even if her father insisted on denying that to her.
“Are you certain?” Anna asked.
“Of course I am,” Bridget said. “I would know if I loved him. You know that you love Mr. Russell, do you not?”
“David,” she said.
Bridget arched an eyebrow. Anna tucked a curl back behind her ear as a light dusting of color spread over her cheeks. “He asked that I call him David. I forgot to mention that.”
“Your courtship is moving rather quickly,” Bridget said.
“It is. And I do—I think I love him,” Anna said. “I like who I am when I am with him, and I like the way that he makes me feel.”
Bridget bit the inside of her cheek. She did not dare ask her sister if she also felt strange, intense sensations when she thought of Mr. Russell.
“But how can I know?” Anna asked. “You act with His Grace in the same manner that I behave with David.”
Bridget furrowed her brow. She felt as though her sister had some other concern weighing on her, but Anna was having some difficulty in expressing it.
“Are you worried that you do not truly love him?” Bridget asked quietly.
Anna slowly nodded. “I think I do, but I have never fallen in love with any man before. How can I know that I truly love him and will love him forever?”
Bridget hummed. She pressed her thighs together, trying to keep her mind away from all those confusing and scandalous thoughts about Anthony. Surely it was too early for either of them to be thinking about love. Bridget scarcely knew His Grace, and Anna had not known Mr. Russell for long at all. Still, she knew her sister wanted so desperately to fall in love.
“I am unsure if you can ever truly know,” Bridget said. “Life is not like the romances. You do not see Sir Lancelot across a field and fall in love with him forever.”
“But what do you do?” Anna asked.
She adjusted her position on the settee, folding her arms over the side of it. Her face was soft and vulnerable. Bridget found hope in Anna’s face. She wanted Mr. Russell to be the love of her life.
“I suppose you have to follow your heart,” Bridget said, “however trite that may sound.”
Anna sighed, the sound tinged with longing. “He is so wonderful that I sometimes feel as if he cannot possibly be real. I feel as if I am undeserving of such a lovely man.”
“You are more than deserving of him!” Bridget exclaimed with a small, disbelieving laugh. “How could you question that?”
“I suppose it is just difficult to believe that my life could be so perfect.”
Bridget slowly nodded. She felt a small spark of envy at how easy everything was for her sister. Anna might not know if she loved Mr. Russell, but she had their father’s approval to court him. Her sister was not being forced to wed the Marquess of Thornton, a man who was so much older than herself.
Bridget quickly smothered that ember of jealousy. She might not know how it felt to love a man, but she knew well that she loved her sister more than any other person on Earth, even herself. Anna was happy. That was what mattered. If they could not both be happy, Bridget would at least be pleased that her sister could have a chance for a love match.
“Nothing will go wrong,” Bridget said.
“You think?”
Bridget nodded. “I do. Many ladies of the ton wed men they do not love at all. Even if you do not love Mr. Russell, it seems impossible that you will not be friends. That is already more than most in our position can accomplish.”
Anna sighed. “You are right. You know, sometimes I envy common women. I know their lives are not easy, but I think that sometimes I would trade a life of leisure for the freedom to marry who I want. Women like that do not have to worry about being put on the shelf.”
