Page 37 of Lusting for the Duke's Kiss
Her heart clenched. She would quietly disappear, go somewhere thathe could never find her. The thought of a convent no longer appealed to her, but perhaps it might be an option. It would be for the best, after all.
Her eyes filled with tears at the thought of it. It would break her heart, clean in two. And she couldn’t even bear to think about his young son and the fact that another woman would be abandoning him, even if she was not a permanent fixture in his life yet.
None of them deserved this. But if fate decreed that was the path they must follow, then there was simply nothing that she could do about it, anyway.
Chapter 16
Louis gazed across the foyer of the building, his heart in his mouth. Hetty was standing there, flanked by her parents. He yearned to cross the few metres that separated them but did not dare. He knew how risky it would be to do such a thing when they were so close to the hearing.
He studied her covertly. She looked calm and composed, but he knew that it was all a show. Only last night, he had spoken to her, and she had been almost sick with nerves, reiterating her wild idea that if she was not granted this divorce now, then he should abandon her. Give up on her and start afresh.
He had assured her, yet again, that he would do no such thing, that his heart was hers for all eternity. That they would eventually get her divorce, and that they would be together. She had seemed to accept his declaration, but he was still deeply uneasy that she would act rashly if they were not successful at this hearing.
He knew that he must be patient with her, that it was overwhelming her. They had waited so long, even to be informed, that this petition was going to be heard. But instead of assuring her that success was one step closer, it had rattled her to the core, dredging up all her insecurities and fears about the process. She simply had no idea of what was about to unfold, and that fact frightened her to the core. She had convinced herself that they were doomed to failure.
He took a deep breath, his heart flooding with love and desire as hebeheld her. She had dressed simply, in a modest grey gown, with a high cream lace collar, and long sleeves. It looked too warm, as the day was already gathering heat. Beads of sweat were already breaking out on her forehead, dampening the glossy chestnut curls framing her face. He closed his eyes for a moment, imagining himself kissing that forehead, tasting the salt of her sweat …
He opened his eyes, shifting uneasily. He must banish such thoughts, at least for the moment. They were an indulgence, and they weakened him when he had to be sharp as a tack, for her sake. For the sake of the woman, who was the love of his life, and who he was determined to make his wife, once and for all.
He still couldn’t quite believe that she had finally given her heart to him. That he had convinced her, at long last, of his devotion to her. The revelation about his illegitimate child had almost driven her away from him, but her heart had melted when she beheld Ben in the flesh. When she realised what a divine little boy he was, and that there was no way that he could have abandoned him. She finally realised that he had done the right thing, even if society deemed it wrong.
He had promised her that he would not fully make love to her until their wedding night, and he intended to keep that vow. To show her how committed he was to her. But his hunger for her was growing, day by day. When he held her in his arms in stolen moments and kissed her, it was growing harder not to make her completely his. Sometimes, it was just easier to avoid those situations, so that the temptation was not there.
And there was another reason to avoid that temptation, of course.She was a married woman. If anyone discovered their dalliances or even suspected them, it could ruin every chance that she would be granted this divorce. So much was at stake. Once again, he had to draw on those deep reserves of patience that he had almost depleted when he had been trying to woo her.
The only thing that was getting him through it was the shining light that she would one day be free, and they could finally be together.
There was movement. The door opened, and Hetty and her parents were ushered through it. He followed at a discreet distance. There was a gallery where he could sit and listen to proceedings.
She glanced back at him, quickly, her blue eyes large with fright. He tried to smile reassuringly but felt his face crack with the effort. His heart was racing and his palms slick with sweat. The day, and the hour, had finally come, and now, he was as beset by doubt and fear, as she was.
***
He sat down in the chair, gazing around. There were three judges, all high clerics in the church. One wore the robes of a bishop. This particular gentleman sat in the middle, flanked by his fellow clerics, his face as impassive as stone. He did not look particularly impressed as he gazed at Hetty.
Louis felt a quick stab of fear. These men were God’s servants. They were indoctrinated to believe that woman was the originator of sin in this world. A woman must be humble, meek, and accept her lot in life. They would not look kindly on a woman who dared to challenge the sanctity of marriage, even if she had good cause to do so.
“Madam,” said the bishop, in a sharp voice. “You have petitioned this court for a dissolution of your marriage.” His gaze turned sharp, and his lip curled. “This is a grave and serious thing that you have undertaken. The church must uphold the vows of marriage, and it is only in exceptional circumstances that they can be broken. Do you understand?”
Hetty was pale. “Yes, my lord,” she whispered, almost swaying in her chair. “I understand the severity of what I am requesting.”
“You come here, in sound mind?” he barked.
“I do,” she said.
The bishop’s gaze swivelled to Mr. Arnold. “Sir, you testify that your daughter is of sound mind, and fully able, to petition the court, for the dissolution of her marriage? And that she has your blessing, to do so?”
Hetty’s father nodded grimly. “I do, my lord.”
The bishop looked sour as if he had suddenly sucked upon a lemon. His lips pursed. “So be it, then. We shall hear your testimony, Mrs Blackmore. But I must stress that it pains me and my fellow brothers in Christ that it has come to this.” He paused, his eyes cold, as he beheld Hetty. “That you have felt compelled to do this when a good Christian woman should meekly accept what the good Lord has seen fit to bestow upon her.”
Hetty bridled a little. A mutinous expression crossed her face before she composed herself, and the mask slipped back into place. Louis felt another stab of uneasiness. It was going to be hard for Hetty to listen to such platitudes and not express her distaste for them. Could she do it? So much was resting on her ability to do so. These men of God would not take kindly to being challenged in that regard.
The bishop gazed around the room. “Is Mr Blackmore present? I take it he was informed of these proceedings?”
“He was, my lord,” said Mr Arnold, clearing his throat. “I wrote a letter to him, at his current address, as soon as we had word that it was going ahead.”
The bishop nodded. “All is as it should be in that regard, then. We cannot wait for his arrival, but I must impress upon you that if he arrives, we are compelled to listen to his testimony and take it into account.”
