Page 61 of Disguised Desires of a Scarred Duke
“Oh, and you’re calm, Anthony? Is this the calm and rational side of you that I’m seeing right now? Also, where did you go yesterday? How about you take a turn revealing what you were doing while you were away?”
Anthony hesitated for a few seconds, then let out a long breath.
“I was visiting my mother at our home in Essex. I hadn’t seen her in over twenty years, Elle. You would like her, I think. I would love you to meet her.”
Eleanor stopped moving around the library like a caged animal and gazed at Anthony in shock. “Your mother? Please tell me more.”
Anthony walked the space between them and folded Eleanor into a long embrace, holding her so close she could feel his heart wildly beating.
“Yes, it’s time to tell you more. First, I’m not an estate agent. I’ve been hiding behind a fake identity because I never meant to stay here until I met you.”
Eleanor stiffened in his arms, but she wanted him to keep talking. She had to know everything.
“I love you, Elle. I love you more with every day that passes, but I fear you will not understand why I’ve been pretending to be someone else.”
He loves me? I have wanted so badly to hear those words, but now I am so confused!
Eleanor pushed William away and shuddered, feeling suddenly very cold. But there was nothing more important than hearing him out right now.
“Go on,” she said so softly she barely heard the words herself.
“I’ve been a sea captain for many years; that much is true. But I only came back to London this season to settle my late father’s affairs. Meeting you wasn’t supposed to happen, but I’m so glad it did. I want to tell you everything. Iwilltell you everything. But I need to know that you are safe from that wicked weasel, Phillips. Will you please let me help you find the evidence you need?”
“Anthony, you are changing the subject in the middle of a confession that might change the direction of our lives. My safety can wait. Please continue.”
He moved closer to her again, inching his way back into the empty space she was protecting between them until she had the full story. Yet Eleanor ached to pull him against her as she learned each detail about him and his past.
She needed to know the man she loved before she could admit that she loved him, too. If she could ever truly know him at all.
“I used to hate London.Hated itso much,” William continued. “So I escaped as a young man. A boy, really, at the age of four and ten. I couldn’t see myself ever living under the rules of polite society. I wanted to see the world and have adventures without limits.
Thankfully, my father agreed to send me to a small boarding school off the coast of Scotland if I promised to go to university afterwards. I kept my promise and enjoyed my years at Cambridge, but the ocean became my home quickly after graduating. That’s where I stayed until my father’s death required my reluctant return.”
“Why did you wait so long to visit your mother?” Eleanor asked. For some reason the fact that Anthony had been in England for many weeks now and avoided seeing his family disturbed her. She wanted to know that she loved a man who valued family. She needed to love a man who someday wanted a family of his own.
Anthony inched even closer to her. This time, he reached for her hand and held it tight.
“My mother and I have kept in touch these many years through letters. But she didn’t know about the accident yet. I didn’t want to alarm her with this face.”
“You have a very handsome face, Anthony. I hope you know that,” Eleanor whispered. She squeezed his hand to let him know that she was being sincere.
“It’s been a challenge to get used to it, I’ll admit. But I also didn’t want my mother giving my true identity away before I was ready. Please remember, I wanted nothing to do with London society.
But I had to move through it for a while until I could leave again. I just wanted to disappear as quickly as possible and get back to a life where how a man looks or what he wears doesn’t matter. You should see the way I dressed before this. I looked positively homeless.”
That comment caused Anthony and Eleanor to laugh quietly together. Then Eleanor reached for his other hand and folded her fingers with his.
The smouldering look in her lover’s obsidian eyes made her weak in the knees. When he pulled her even closer and pressed his forehead against hers, Eleanor breathed a long sigh of relief.
Nothing he had told her was terrible. There was nothing yet to forgive.
“I don’t know why you felt the need to hide yourself when the real you is all any of us desire. It’s all I desire, Anthony. I love you, too.”
Anthony kissed her cheek, then held her against him and whispered in her ear.
“I need to tell you my real name, Elle.”
Before her brain could process what Anthony had said, the door to the library flung open.
