Page 67 of Mending the Baron's Sins
“You seem distracted, Orla. Is all well?” Esther asked.
Orla turned around to face her friend. The two of them were walking through the market in town, having come to run some errands. Esther had a list of items to buy for the house, and Orla had some fresh herbs and vials to collect for her medicinal needs. She gathered them together in her basket and paid the seller some money, before pulling her woolen shawl tight across her shoulders to fight the cold air and turning back to face her friend.
“Just lost in thought, I guess,” Orla said softly.
“That man, eh? Mr. Baker. Fancy coming to see you like that and demanding an audience with you in front of the baron? It’s abhorrent!”
“What? Oh, yes, it is.” Orla cursed herself. That would have been a natural thing to think about, but her thoughts had been about Horace instead. She had only thought of him and the way he had held her when she was so upset about Frederick.
“Why can’t I help feeling you’re keeping secrets?” Esther asked, nudging her with an elbow as they walked between the stalls.
“Me?” Orla laughed softly and nudged Esther back. “I am not the one who was sneaking about the garden the other night with George.”
Esther dropped her basket so quickly that Orla was forced to catch it to stop her newly purchased apples from rolling away across the ground.
“Goodness, what a reaction,” Orla murmured. “Aye, though I should have expected it, shouldn’t I?”
“You know? You saw us?” Esther took the basket back. She turned the color of a beetroot. “Did anyone else?”
“No, only me,” Orla lied, knowing it would not be good to point out to Esther that she had seen her rendezvous, only because she was having one of her own with the baron. “I saw you two sneaking out of the house together.”
“Oh, good lord!” Esther walked on fast, but Orla raced to catch up with her, smiling still.
“Esther, what is so wrong with this? You and George have been close ever since I have arrived at the house. What is wrong with liking him?”
“It was one night. One night,” Esther protested, holding up a single finger. “One night of weakness.”
“I know the feeling,” Orla whispered, though fortunately, Esther didn’t hear her.
“I never intended for it to happen, but it did. He… he’s asked me for a courtship.”
“Well, this is wonderful.” Orla pulled on her friend’s arm, urging her to pause in the market so they could look at one another as they spoke. “You are fond of him, are you not?”
“Yes.”
“Then what is it you object to?” Orla asked with an inquisitive stare. “I saw how happy you were that night as you crept out with George. I do not think I have ever seen such a smile on your face.” Orla smiled now. Esther struggled to smile back. She sighed and walked on again, encouraging Orla to race to catch up with her.
“I know he makes me happy. He is so kind and fun to be with, but life isn’t that simple, is it?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that look…” Esther paused, sighing heavily once more. “I am a maid, and he is a groom. We do not have much moneyto our name. If we were to court and for it to go well, we would marry, then what? I’d be at home with babies while he is out at work earning money. How would we have enough money for our children?”
“You really think things through to the very end, don’t you?” Orla asked in amazement. “Esther, you would make it work if it came to it. What’s the harm in enjoying a courtship in the meantime? Especially one that would make you so happy.”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Esther increased her pace, and Orla had to practically run to keep up with her. “I guess I am afraid.”
“Of what?”
“Of change,” Esther whispered. “This is the life I know, yes, the life I am used to, and what happens to all of that if George and I were to officially court? How much could change!” she gushed. “What if it doesn’t work out? Then I’d be taking a leap of faith in something that could go very wrong indeed.”
“You really do think everything through to a moment of terror. Do you remember what it’s like just to indulge in happiness?” Orla challenged, then reached for her friend’s arm and pulled her to a stop. “Esther, you do not have to be afraid. Maybe you just need to confront your feelings and decide whether the happiness you feel in George’s company is worth taking that leap of faith.”
Esther chewed her lip, then nodded slowly.
“You phrased that very well,” she observed quietly. “I need to confront what I feel, eh?” She looked ahead again. “When did life get so complicated?”
“I have a feeling it always does. How did it begin, by the way? You and George.” As Orla happily listened to the tale Esther told her about her initial meetings with George, Orla had a feeling that the advice she had given to Esther could be applied to herself as well.
