Page 46 of Mending the Baron's Sins
“What is it? You do not want laudanum, do you?” she asked keenly. For the last week, she hadn’t given him a single drop,though she knew the few times that Colm had been by to check on the baron. He had still given the baron some. She was hoping that someday, the baron would refuse to take it altogether.
“No.” He gestured for her to come in and close the door. She did so, discarding her bag at the side of the room. She was about to run toward him when she hesitated, remembering what had happened the last time they were alone together. He must have noticed her hesitation, for he broke off in his pacing and turned to look at her too.
He was wearing only his shirt and his trousers. The shirt was loose around his hips, the glimmer of his chest visible in the opening of the neck. When she saw just a little of his chest, she bit her lips. He groaned aloud and looked away.
Did I cause him to do that?
“Why did you call me? Is something wrong?” She stood tall, trying to stay business like and professional. She was determined to hold true to her promise to Esther, to never allow such a kiss to take place again.
“I wanted to talk after our… our kiss.”
“Shh.” She waved a hand at him.
“And who is going to hear us in here, Orla?” He held his palms wide open, gesturing to the empty space.
“You woke me in the middle of the night for this conversation?” she asked in bemusement.
“I need to apologize.” He stepped toward her. “Maybe you were right. Maybe buying those things wasn’t the act of kindness I hoped it was. Maybe it was an attempt at absolution through charity. I can scarcely understand my own actions. I’m sorry. Truly, I am.”
She blinked. She’d expected he was going to apologize for the kiss, but not this.
“I just…” He sighed and stepped toward her again. “The pain of seeing what we saw today. Imagine seeing it all again Orla, and knowing you are the cause of it.” He sighed so loudly that she felt a pain in her stomach for him.
There was vulnerability in him, a need to be understood, and most of all, agony.
“I’m sorry you had to see it.” She didn’t think about whether it was a good idea or not. She closed the distance between them. She nearly touched him, but just held herself back. “I can’t imagine that feeling.”
“Don’t apologize to me,” he begged. “You do not owe me that.” He placed his hand softly on her bare arm, for she had not brought a shawl or jacket with her in her haste. The touch of his skin on her broke her.
Don’t do it. Don’t!
Yet excitement and need rippled through her. She raised her hands, both finding the center of his chest. That touch seemed to break him in turn, too. His hand shifted from her arm across her back. They slid together, and she didn’t even know who was the first to start the kiss this time. Was it her? Was she the one to raise herself on her toes and capture his lips?
All she knew was that her lips collided with his own. They kissed, her hands tugging at the open neckline of his shirt. He stumbled with her, and they ended up braced against the wall beside the fire.
She could feel the heat from that fire being so close, but it was nothing compared to the heat erupting inside of her. She could feel every part of the baron’s body against her, the strength in that chest, the firmness of his hips on hers, his tall body, compared to her much smaller one.
He toyed with her tongue, never too long, but teasing her constantly, pleasuring her so much with that feeling that shewhined into the kiss, not wanting him to stop. When his fingers splayed around her waist, her breathing grew stuttered.
I cannot stop. It is like a spell he has over me. I need more!
She pulled a little on the neck of his shirt, tugging him down toward her, then suddenly, he pulled their lips apart. He rested his forehead against her.
There was intimacy hanging in that air as both panted, trying to catch their breaths.
“You have no idea how I want you,” he whispered, his voice deep and husky. “It’s like a craving, a need, a need I’ve never had for another.” His lips wandered down her neck. It wasn’t quite another kiss, but a temptation of what could be. Her toes curled in her boots as her hands tightened on his shirt. “But…”
But…?
Her body froze.
“I won’t defile you.” He released her suddenly. He stumbled back and then dropped down into the armchair, leaving her to plant her hands against the wall behind her, struggling to brace her weight there. “I won’t do that. Not to you.” His eyes were hooded. He couldn’t hide that desire now. It was plain to see onhis face. “What kind of wicked man would I be to pursue you, Orla?”
She didn’t have the words. It was a kindness, yes, not to pursue her, but it left her sad and dissatisfied all the same.
“You must go back to your chamber,” he urged, hanging his head forward and hiding his face in his hands. “God, Orla, I am so sorry.”
She left without another word, leaving her bag behind, for she was in such a haste. In the corridor, she planted a hand over her mouth, realizing that despite his apology, it was definitely her who had started that second kiss.
