Page 57 of Healing the Duke's Desires
“Both of you are to blame, of course! But he is a man, he ought to have known what would happen. You yourself ought to have known, Emily!”
“Patrick, darling…” Lady Ashfordshire placed her hand tenderly on her husband’s. She had always been a calm and composed presence, which was something they all needed now more than ever. “This is a difficult time for all of us. Emily has learned from her mistakes. And we must support her as a family. Blame and recrimination will not change what happened.”
“Has she really learned, Anne?” he spoke incredulously, unwilling to be pacified.
“You have not even asked her that,” his wife reminded him. “All you’ve done for the past three days is remind us all of what happened, wondering why. Is there a point in wondering why anything happened?”
He sighed heavily, finally without a word of retort. Emily could not believe it. Only her mother had this power over him. Her mother’s words had always carried a sense of wisdom and empathy, and her soothing demeanor helped defuse the tension that had been building in the room. She now turned to Emily, her eyes filled with maternal warmth.
“We must find a way to move forward and rebuild our lives. Emily, we are here for you, no matter what.” She spoke with love that knew no bounds, and it almost made Emily burst into tears.
“Thank you, Mother,” she whispered as everyone started to eat their breakfast. Emily welcomed the silence, but she knew there was no understanding on the part of her father. She couldn’t expect any from him, not when she had made such a grave mistake.
After the strained breakfast, Emily felt the need to escape to the solace of the garden, where the vibrant blooms and tranquil surroundings offered some respite from the turmoil inside the house. As she wandered among the flowers, the fragrant air and gentle breeze seemed to soothe her troubled soul.
Would she ever be able to show her face in public again? It was silly to think that she would spend the rest of her life secluded between the four walls of her home. But at the same time, the thought of facing all those people who were there that night filled her with dread. Not just those people, but Alexander as well.
She had considered many scenarios in the past three days. Her mind had conjured up his image more times than she could count. Her dreams had brought him to life every single night. Yet, the conclusion was always the same. If he wanted to tell her he had changed his mind, that he loved her as much as she loved him, he would have been here. He would not waste a single moment, if he was certain of the way he felt.
Emily sighed heavily, her steps eventually leading her to a magnificent rose bush that stood in full bloom, its petals adorned with delicate shades of pink and crimson. It was a breathtaking sight. She fixated on the resplendent blooms.
She felt a deep connection to the roses, as if they mirrored her own inner turmoil. The roses, so exquisitely beautiful, concealed their own thorns and vulnerabilities beneath their captivating exterior. She couldn’t help but think of her own life, where the appearance of grace and charm had given way to the painful reality of scandal and judgment.
As Emily stood there, lost in thought and contemplation, she didn’t even hear the sound of oncoming footsteps. Sarah placed a comforting hand on Emily’s shoulder, and the two sisters shared a moment of silent understanding. Emily turned to face her with a weak smile. No words were needed. Their bond was strong enough to convey their feelings without spoken language.
“It feels horrible to know that you’re the one responsible for all of this,” Emily admitted, finding it hard to convey in words the depth of her remorse.
“It’ll be all right, Emily,” Sarah told her with sisterly affection. “We’ll face this together, and in time, things will get better.”
Still, Emily felt a deep sense of guilt weighing on her heart. The burden of her actions and the scandal that had ensued were a heavy cross to bear. Her choices had not only affected her own life but also cast a shadow over her family, especially Sarah.
“That is exactly what troubles me even more,” Emily said with a heavy sigh, the weight of the entire world upon her shoulders.
“What do you mean?” Sarah wondered.
“I’m afraid that this disgrace that has tainted our family name would cast a shadow over your prospects of marrying Mr. Willcott,” Emily divulged her fear. “I couldn’t bear the thought of my selfish actions jeopardizing your future and happiness with the man you love.”
She wanted nothing more than for Sarah to have a chance at a happy life and a loving marriage, free from the stain of scandal that had marred her own path. However, Sarah only smiled. She didn’t seem concerned even the slightest bit.
Sarah took Emily by the hand and squeezed it gently. “Henry is a good man. He cares for me deeply, and I believe he will see beyond the scandal. Love is stronger than the judgments of society.”
Her words carried a soothing conviction, and Sarah’s unwavering faith in Henry’s character offered a glimmer of hope to Emily. Perhaps not all was lost. But as for her own love story, she couldn’t help but believe that it was over. What else was there left to say?
“You know,” Emily said, feeling embarrassed for so many things, but never for the emotions that she carried inside of her, “I really thought he loved me. I was convinced of it. I believed our feelings were genuine, but I see now that I was wrong.”
Sarah, seemingly unsure of how to respond to her sister’s admission, simply listened in empathetic silence. She understood the depth of Emily’s emotional turmoil as only a sister could.
“I thought we had a future together,” Emily continued, the thought forcing a little smile, which was immediately extinguished by the harsh reality of her situation. “But I see now it was all a foolish dream. It is dangerous to dream, Sarah. Very dangerous.”
The future seemed shrouded in a haze of uncertainty, the path ahead daunting and unforgiving. The scandal had changed the course of her life, and she questioned whether she could ever regain the sense of hope and purpose that had once guided her.
“No, no,” Sarah assured her tenderly. “You should never stop dreaming. Never.”
“Look where dreaming has brought me,” Emily said in a cracking voice. “To a broken state of being.”
“A man broke you,” Sarah pointed out. “A man who did not see you for the wonderful girl that you are, Emily. You gave him your heart, your grace, your reputation. You almost gave him your everything. Do not let him have the last thing a person has after a dire situation such as the one you went through. Do not allow him to have your hopes and dreams.”
Emily was on the verge of telling her sister that it was too late for that. Alexander already had all of that. All her hopes were intricately tied to him. All her dreams belonged to him, as well. She had nothing of her own any longer, nothing that didn’t belong to him. It petrified her beyond words.
