Page 4 of Healing the Duke's Desires
Gently stirring his tea, he contemplated the implications of his decision. On the one hand, attending the ball would allow him to fulfill his obligations to his family and showcase a united front amidst their social circle. It would provide an opportunity for him to engage with friends and acquaintances, offering a temporary escape from his inner turmoil.
And most importantly, he needed to be there for Rose. She was his responsibility now, and he wanted her to know that she could count on him for anything. That, of course, required his constant presence.
On the other hand, the ball represented a stark reminder of the void left by his late wife. The lively music, the laughter, and the gaiety that would fill the ballroom seemed incongruous with the somberness of his heart. He wondered if he could bear the weight of those festivities, if he could plaster on a smile and pretend that his world hadn’t been shattered, even if it was for only several hours.
“I suppose it is required of me,” he said heavily, aware of the fact that as Rose’s guardian, he needed to be there for her second Season.
As he sipped his tea, the warmth spreading through his body, a resolve began to take hold. Despite his personal reservations, attending the ball was not solely about Alexander’s own desires.
It was about honoring his family, their legacy, and the expectations that came with his position. Society would not allow him to become a recluse just because of a personal tragedy. However, he didn’t care one bit what society would think of him.
“I want you to know how grateful Rose and I have been for all your support,” Helen spoke sadly, reminiscing of her late husband, whom she had loved dearly.
Alexander could understand that pain. It had been, after all, only eighteen months since the death of his uncle, who had been another father figure in Alexander’s life, and thus held a special place in his heart. But it seemed that fate was adamant in taking everyone Alexander loved. He couldn’t understand what he had done to deserve that.
He smiled in return. “We are a family,” he reminded her. “Family is supposed to help each other.”
“Not every family is like that,” she told him, sounding melancholic but unwilling to delve more deeply into this. “We are fortunate to have you as ours. But also… permit me to be so bold, but it has been three years since Amelia’s death. Knowing her, I’m sure she wouldn’t want you to wither away inside your study, hiding from the rest of the world.”
He bit his lip, not wanting to reply to this. The truth was that she was right. Amelia had been the life of the party wherever she went. She was the light of life embodied within a woman. She demanded attention wherever she went, and yet, she had chosen to be his. Seeing him like this would have destroyed her.
But he couldn’t do anything about that. His heart was broken, and it would never be whole again. Why pretend otherwise?
“You are still a young man with your entire life ahead of you. She would want you to move on, to find someone else,” Helen said, her expression revealing a fear that she might have crossed the line.
The mention of Lady Ashfordshire’s ball and the suggestion of finding a wife felt like a cruel twist of fate, a reminder of the void that had been left in Alexander’s life. His beloved Amelia’s absence loomed large, and the pain of her loss gripped him anew, digging its painful canines into his most aching spot.
Despite the anguish that coursed through him, Alexander had to put on a façade for his aunt’s sake. He mustered a smile, masking the turmoil within, determined not to cause her any distress. Her concern and well-intentioned suggestions were born out of love, and he didn’t want to burden her with his internal struggles.
With a gentle nod, Alexander acknowledged Helen’s words. He appreciated her concern and understood the societal expectations placed upon him. The notion of finding a wife, however, felt like an insurmountable task. How could he possibly open his heart again when it still ached for Amelia?
“I will gladly attend Lady Ashfordshire’s ball with you and Rose, dear aunt,” Alexander assured her, but he didn’t want to give her any false hope. The thought of ever loving someone again felt as foreign as a sunrise in the west.
“There will be so many lovely young ladies in attendance,” Helen urged. “I’m not saying you should do anything you don’t feel comfortable with. Just… don’t close yourself off to the possibility of happiness.”
He sighed heavily. She had no idea what it was she was asking of him. His heart rebelled against this idea. Amelia was irreplaceable. But at the same time, he knew that life continued to move, like a river that flowed endlessly, refusing to wait for anyone. Societal expectations functioned in more or less the same manner. The world around him expected him to grieve, then move on and rebuild what he had lost.
With a silent sigh, Alexander resolved to navigate the path ahead as gracefully as he could. The smile he wore was a mask, concealing the anguish that dwelled within, and he wasn’t ready to give it up just yet. Too little time had passed for that.
“Happiness is an elusive thing,” he said vaguely. “So, I cannot promise anything regarding that. But Icanpromise that I will attend this ball and keep you two ladies company.” He tried to smile, more for her sake than his own. She accepted his effort and smiled back.
“Splendid,” she gushed. “Both Rose and I are so looking forward to it.”
“I imagine it is so.” He nodded and tried to divert the conversation toward a different topic. “And how has Rose been doing?”
Helen was more than happy to talk about Rose, and Alexander listened intently, although his mind was still focused on the previous conversation. He would attend Lady Ashfordshire’s ball and fulfill his obligations, all while grappling with the bittersweet reality of searching for a new companion—and knowing deep in his heart that no one could truly fill the void left by Amelia’s absence.
Chapter 3
Emily was standing in the corner of the elegant ballroom of Fairchild Estate, heart racing with unease. The only thing providing some sort of comfort was Sarah, who held her by the hand. Their parents had gotten lost in the crowd of other people, which Emily refused to look at for fear of seeing the marquess’ face.
While she was lost in her own tumultuous thoughts, Sarah was visibly in awe of the splendor around them. Gilded mirrors reflected the soft glow of the crystal chandeliers that hung above them, scattering light across the entire ballroom like stars in the night sky. The shimmering light flickered upon the polished marble floors, enhancing the room’s ethereal ambiance.
The high ceilings of the ballroom soared above, supported by graceful columns, beautified by exquisite frescoes that depicted scenes of mythology and love. Every one evoked a sense of grandeur and romance. Against the walls, plush velvet draperies in rich colors cascaded down to the floor, concealing large windows and allowing only a small portion of moonlight to cast a silvery glow, adding to the magic of the night.
“The music is absolutely marvelous, isn’t it?” Sarah gushed.
Emily turned her focus to the raised dais, where the musicians played lively melodies on their instruments, inviting the couples to twirl around following the sound of graceful waltzes and spirited country dances.
