Page 20 of Healing the Duke's Desires
“The prices have been steady lately,” he acknowledged, then suddenly, he turned to Alexander. “Wouldn’t you agree, Ravenswood?”
Alexander was pulled back to the present moment by the sound of the man’s voice. He frowned, then answered, “Agree with what, old boy?”
“The brick business.”
“What about it?” Alexander wondered, trying to catch the heads and tails of the conversation he had barely been listening to.
“Don’t mind him, chaps,” Lord Fauntleroy teased, patting Alexander on the shoulder in a friendly manner. “He probably didn’t sleep well. Maybe a brick fell on his head or something!”
A few others laughed, although Alexander didn’t find this comment particularly amusing. But the truth was, Lord Fauntleroy was simply a man who was not in the habit of thinking before speaking. Therefore, some of his comments sounded a bit harsh and rude, but he never meant them as such. Everyone was aware of that, and Alexander knew better than to hold it against the man.
“Haven’t you invested lately in the brick business, Ravenswood?” another voice asked, and Alexander was now drawn into this conversation without really wanting to be.
“Yes, the returns have been gracious so far.” He nodded, knowing that this would only create an avalanche of more questions, so he quickly came up with an excuse. “I would love to tell you more about it, but you will have to pardon me, gentlemen. I need to speak to my cousin for a moment.”
“But do return, old boy,” Lord Fauntleroy urged. “I have more questions about your investments, as I’ve been meaning to do the same but I’m not certain about a few things. Some sound advice would be much appreciated.”
“Of course. I would be happy to offer whatever knowledge I have,” Alexander said, hoping to avoid the man for the rest of the evening, if possible. Not that he was not fond on the man, but rather he was not fond of company in general right now and was here almost against his will.
He withdrew quickly, feeling Emily’s stare at the back of his head, hating himself for wanting to turn around, walk up to her, and ask her how she was doing. In fact, he wanted to talk to her about anything, even if it was as irrelevant as discussing the weather, just so he could listen to the melodious sound of her voice.
While everyone’s presence made him feel worse, made him want to retreat into himself, her presence seemed to have the opposite effect. She drew him to her without even being aware of it in the slightest. He yearned to see her smile, to hear her voice, the sound of her laughter as it spilled all around him.
He remembered how her eyes had lit up at the exhibition, how infectious her laughter was. Her presence felt like the sun after a long bout of rain, and he knew this feeling was dangerous. Yet, he could not banish it from his soul.
But he could not allow himself any of this. No stolen glances. No whispered conversations. No unspoken connection to this woman. Nothing. Those were forbidden to him, because he had made a promise to someone—a promise he could never take back.
Still with his back to her, he rushed in the opposite direction of the garden, torn between his desire to speak to Emily and his commitment to his dead wife. The weight of this unspoken affection kept him silent, unable to find the right words to speak to anyone for the following hour or so.
“Alexander?” He heard the unexpected voice of his cousin, almost as if his lie had unconsciously beckoned her to come to him. “Is everything all right?”
“Of course.” He smiled, nodding, hoping his eyes would not give him away.
She didn’t seem convinced, and her following words proved it. “You seem… troubled.”
He couldn’t lie to her. But at the same time, he couldn’t tell her the truth. He couldn’t tell the truth to anyone—he felt that no one could understand him, this weight he had been carrying inside of his own soul ever since he laid his eyes on Emily. As always, he would revert to hiding his emotions and sorting them out himself, as best as he knew how.
“I am merely tired, nothing else,” he said, which in all honesty, was not a complete lie. That soothed him a little. Rose was such a kind, caring soul, and he hated hiding things from her. He hoped a hasty change of the subject from him to her would make her forget about this. “What about you, my dear? Are you enjoying yourself?”
“Oh, very much so,” she gushed, and that was yet another thing that brought him comfort. He focused on her happiness now.
“I am glad to hear that. How about we go and have some refreshments?” he suggested with a smile, hoping that while he was with her, no one would interrupt them.
He would put her like a shield between him and the world, staying away from everyone, keeping himself safe and alone as he had been so far. Nothing needed to change. In fact, it was crucial for his peace of mind that everything remained the same. But unfortunately, life rarely functioned that way, and that was exactly what he was afraid of.
Chapter 12
“Really?” Sarah exclaimed, her eyes sparkling as she gazed at Henry with evident and utter infatuation. “She said it in those exact words?”
“In those very exact words,” Henry echoed, finishing a story they had both been immersed in, standing a little farther away from everyone else, focusing on each other. “You can imagine the stir it created!”
“Oh, I most certainly can!” she agreed excitedly, and a moment later, they both burst into an infectious chuckle, which proved even more to all those around them that they felt as if no one else in the world existed but them.
The earl and countess of Ashfordshire, along with Emily, had given them a bit of privacy, but the couple was still under their watchful eye. After all, it was of the utmost importance that the rules of propriety were upkept at any given time.
“He is quite the charming man, Patrick.” Lady Ashfordshire huddled close to her husband in a rather conspiratorial manner as they discussed the possible fate of the couple. “Witty, too.”
“Charm and witticisms will not keep our daughter well clothed and fed, my dear,” her husband spoke solemnly, still indecisive regarding the man in question.
