Page 48 of A Duke's Wicked Secret
Penelope answered them all with a smile and laughter and stated that her mother had prepared well for all of it, but the knot in her stomach grew larger and tighter with each jest and question.
At last, the night was done, and Penelope left the party early due to needing to get her ‘beauty sleep for her big day.’ Bessie, for the entire month leading up to her wedding, had been putting Penelope through a strict regimen of daily beauty routines and diet so that her fair completion would be at its very best.
Tonight, Bessie had made her mask for her face and neck that she was instructed to keep on for at least half an hour, and as it absorbed into her skin, Bessie painstakingly took Penelope’s freshly washed hair and tied it up in tiny rolls so that she would have a bounty of curls in the morning.
Finally, her face was washed, her hair tied and wrapped in a silk wrap so that it would stay in place, and her entire body was oiled down when Bessie looked satisfied that her work was complete, and she bid her mistress goodnight. Penelope was exhausted but wide awake with nerves, so she pulled out her journal (which had long been neglected of late), and she was excited to at long last have the time to write.
July Twenty-ninth, 1811
Dearest Journal,
I cannot express how good it feels to be able to write tonight. So much has happened in the last weeks, but I am far too tired tonight to try and lay out everything tonight. Hopefully, on our honeymoon, I will have plenty of time to think back on all of this and commemorate it here.
I cannot believe this is my last night as Penelope Ainsworth. I am so looking forward to being Theo’s wife and he my husband, but I am also very nervous about it. Will I make a good wife? Will we remain as happy and in love as we are now, or will we grow apart eventually?
I cannot imagine the two of us ending up like that, but I would assume that no newlywed couple would think that either. I want to talk to Theo about this concern and how we should plan to avoid it in our future together. I know there will be challenges in this life, and I want us to face them together and grow stronger and closer once we overcome those challenges.
I am excited to be the lady of my own household. I am looking forward to having the freedom to make my own schedule, decorate my home to my liking, and everything that comes with being a married woman.
I hope that Theo loves my wedding gown. I adore it and think that it is truly the most beautiful dress I have ever worn!
I truly cannot wait for tomorrow night, my wedding night! Yes, we have been intimate once before, but this time I know will be different because it will be as man and wife. I look forward to sleeping in his arms and waking up slowly and maybe even having breakfast in bed together and then making love to him once more.
We are going to be traveling abroad for our honeymoon. Theo has not told me where we are going, but I hope that we will be going to Spain, Greece, and most of all, I hope we will go to Italy. There are so many places I have always wanted to go and see and experience and have yet to get to go to!
Penelope started to feel as though she could not continue to put legible words to paper much longer when a gentle knock came on her door.
Penelope got up and opened her door and found her mother in her nightgown with a large shawl wrapped around her shoulders.
“Hello, darling. I hope I did not wake you.”
“No, Mamma, I was still up. Please come in,” Penelope said as she stepped aside so her mother could enter.
“I will not keep you long because I know you must be very tired. I just felt that it was well past time for me to have a more detailed conversation about … erm … marital relations.”
Penelope struggled to keep herself from smiling at how bashful her mother was mentioning marital relations to her.
“What would you like to say about it, Mamma?”
“Well, I suppose I wanted to know if you had any questions for me before tomorrow night.”
“Ahh, yes … I was wondering, should I wait for him to suggest we go to bed, or would he be waiting for me to suggest that?” Penelope asked. Penelope felt a knot form in the pit of her stomach about not being completely honest with her mother as she did not know that she was no longer a virgin, but it was true that she was not sure if she should initiate them making love or if he should.
“Oh, well, I would say that he will take the lead in that, and I would follow his guidance throughout the event. Also, it may be a bit painful, but if you relax, it will ease before long.”
“Thank you, Mamma.”
“Of course, was there anything else?”
“Not that I can think of at the moment.”
“Well, I think that will be sufficient. Just trust your husband and make sure he is pleased, darling. I love you and am very happy for you. You have made a wonderful choice in a husband.”
“I love him so deeply, Mamma.”
“I know, and I can tell from the way he looks and speaks to you that he adores you as well, and there is nothing more I could ask for as a mother. Sleep well my darling, and I will see you tomorrow morning!”
Penelope’s mother kissed her goodnight and quietly walked out of Penelope’s chambers. Once she had left, Penelope pulled her journal out from under the covers where she had hidden it and put it back in her permanent hiding place for it. She then laid down and fell asleep, thinking of what this next chapter of her life was going to bring with it.
