Page 57 of Seducing a Frigid Lady
“Go to bed, Max. We shall talk in the morning.”
Max did not attempt to argue again. Instead, he huffed deeply and gripped hold of Lionel’s shoulder for only a moment, as if in silent apology before he turned and removed himself from the room.
Long after he had gone, Lionel found himself there still. And as he had before, he sipped his scotch and gazed into the fireplace, still haunted by the expressions of Miss Lloyd that danced within the flames.
Though he tried his hardest to push all thought of her from his mind, he could not help but tell himself over and over,I have already lost her.
It did not take a genius to imagine how she must feel after all she had heard in the drawing room that morning. Nor could he blame her for how she must be feeling. Having heard that the rake of a man she had finally been growing close to had been sneaking around with another woman, how else could she possibly feel but betrayed and disgusted?
Even if he were to go and find her, even if he were to get her to listen to the truth, would she ever truly believe him? Just remembering the cold glare that had overcome her face as she had stood beneath the archway made him believe that the answer was likely no.
And so he quickly decided it was best to try and forget about her entirely. Yet when he tried instead to think of what it might be like to see himself standing at the top of the marriage aisle, it was not Lady Caroline’s face he saw moving towards him behind a veil. Instead, all he could see was Miss Lloyd’s piercing blue eyes and the way that they silently judged him.
It was at that image, at the way his heart broke to think of it, that he realised,I am in love with Miss Lloyd.Yet even more evident to him was the knowledge that it didn’t matter. She would never marry him now, whether or not she had even been considering it before. He had entirely lost her and it was best to just move on with his life, even if it hurt like hell to even try to think of doing so.
Several days later, after putting up with Max’s moping about the house for more time than he dated to count, Lionel approached his cousin in his study, where he had practically locked himself away with his work.
The blonde-haired gentleman barely even raised his gaze from the pile of paperwork before him as Lionel entered and stated, “You are not dressed yet.”
With the feather tip of his quill brushing his lower lip, Max declared, “I am not going.”
Lionel’s stomach twisted at his cousin’s words. When he had first arrived in London to stay with his cousin, he had never imagined that Max would be the one refusing to attend a ball. Nor could he ever have imagined that he would be willing to go with or without him.
“Max, nobody yet knows of the arrangements being made between the Sinclairs and the Montgomerys,” Lionel pointed out, saying it in such a way that it could at least help him compartmentalise from the fact that he was at the very centre of said arrangements. He thought perhaps it might be the only way to make it through to the big day.
“I know, and you know, and I am certain that by now Lady Caroline must know,” Max pointed out, finally turning his gaze to Lionel. “And I cannot bear to see her face knowing that she knows it and wondering whether or not she is accepting of it.”
Lionel cringed at that. It was no secret that he had not seen hide nor hair of Lord Montgomery or his daughter since their bargain had been struck upon the shaking of hands in this very room. Lionel had tried his hardest not to think about what that might mean, neither allowing it to depress him or give him hope that somehow he might actually get out of the arrangements that had been made.
Not a single person had arrived on their doorstep to congratulate him and so he could only assume that Lord Montgomery had decided to keep all quiet until everything had settled into place.
Just looking at Max and seeing the heartbreak that was glistening in his brown eyes, Lionel was relieved at least for his cousin that word of their engagement had not yet spread across London.
Max made a show of rearranging the papers on his desk before he looked at Lionel again and said, “Besides, I do not believe she shall even be there anyway, so I shall not bother wasting my time in going.”
There was an edge to his tone and a redness to the corners of his eyes that suggested he was still utterly beside himself and mightily uncertain of what to do. And not for the first time Lionel wished he could take his cousin’s pain away, yet another thing that had always plagued him since they were children.
“Then I shall just have to go without you,” Lionel declared, placing a hopeful inflexion in his voice in the vain hope that he might be able to encourage his cousin to change his mind. “Though I would really appreciate the company?”
He half-turned away as he spoke, looking at Max out of the corner of his eye. But it was clear that his cousin would not change his mind. For once the shy push-over of a cousin was actually standing his ground and Lionel had to at least give him credit where credit was due.
“I only hope that Miss Lloyd might be in attendance,” he sighed deeply, turning entirely towards the doors.
“Why ever would you hope for that?” Max asked, sounding horrified. Lionel gritted his teeth and shook his head. He would not allow his cousin’s horror to muddy his own hopes seeing Miss Lloyd’s icy cold glare one final time.
“I have yet to have the chance to explain to her all that she witnessed,” Lionel explained, pausing beside the door, his spine feeling even tenser than before.
“But if you do that, won’t you give all of this away?” Max protested. “If you are adamant that you must do this for Lady Caroline’s sake, how can you run the risk of adding yet more story to this scandal?”
Lionel cringed at his cousin’s words and had to grit his teeth in order to stop himself from making an utterly sharp retort.
Instead, he said through his clenched jaw, “Miss Lloyd would never betray my trust, even if she believes I have betrayed hers.”
It was a fact that he knew deep down to his very soul and it only aided in making him ever more heartbroken. To have betrayed the trust of such a woman, after she had given it so stubbornly, it felt utterly criminal.
All he could do now was hope that, miraculously, she would turn up at the ball that night.It might be my very last chance to see her face before all of this comes out.
Chapter 21
