Page 24 of Enthralled in the Governess' Gaze
“Oh, thank goodness,” she declared, crossing the room to get closer to Victoria. “I was starting to fear I would have to eat alone tonight.”
Frowning, Victoria asked, “Are Lord Harford and the Duke not joining us this evening, madam?”
Mrs Radcliffe shook her head. “No, I am afraid father had a dinner meeting he needed to attend, and as for Edward…I honestly cannot say where he has gone off to. He only left word that he would not be joining us.”
“Oh, I see,” Victoria replied. Why did she feel disappointed by that fact? Should she not be relieved?
“He does that, now and then,” Mrs Radcliffe said with a sigh. “Goes off on his own. I think having Lily and me around is exhausting him.”
Victoria blinked and shook her head, surprised by the woman’s statement. “He loves having you both here! I can tell by the way he fawns over Lily, and he seems quite attentive to you as well, madam.”
Mrs Radcliffe chuckled and nodded. “Oh, yes, do not misunderstand, Miss Clifford. My brother is very happy to have us home, he has made that abundantly clear, but I know being around people tends to tire him out.”
Victoria furrowed her brow. “Is that so? I…I would not have suspected that of him.”
“He is very good at hiding it,” Mrs Radcliffe sighed. “It is not that he does not enjoy being around people…it just takes quite a bit out of him to do so. Now and then, he disappears to replenish himself, I suppose you could say. Anyway, he is not joining us tonight, so we should not bother waiting for anyone else to show up. Let us sit and eat.”
Victoria smiled and allowed Mrs Radcliffe to lead her to the table. The two sat and enjoyed their meal together, and while Victoria delighted in Mrs Radcliffe’s company, she could not help but wonder at where Lord Harford had gone that evening. Was his sister right, and he was simply tired and seeking solace elsewhere?
Or was there something else driving him away from his own dinner table that evening?
Is it me?
She stopped the thought before it could take root in her mind.
His reason for not attending dinner did not matter to her. Let him go off wherever he wanted – she was quite happy to be with Mrs Radcliffe.
And besides, she would likely see him in the morning at breakfast. Then she would be able to know for certain that he was not avoiding her specifically.
***
He was not at breakfast.
For some reason, that truly bothered her. Victoria could not help but feel as though he were avoiding her, especially when she did not see any sign of him throughout the day. She began to wonder if he had even returned to the house to sleep or if he had spent the entire night elsewhere.
Victoria tried not to think about him as she went about her duties caring for Lily, but it proved difficult. She told herself she was merely curious as to what could be keeping him away from his niece and sister, especially given how much he claimed to miss them. Yes, that was it. How could he simply ignore his family like this? It was shameful, really. Quite like the man she thought him to be from their first meetings.
Thinking of him in such a manner made it easier for Victoria to concentrate and pretend as though she did not care that he was not around at all.
However, when she walked into the dining room that night and saw that he was present, she was immediately overcome with the strangest sense of relief. He was standing with his sister near the dining table and appeared to be listening very closely to whatever Mrs Radcliffe was saying.
As Victoria watched him, she became suddenly aware of how empty her day had felt. It startled her, and she could not understand why his not being around had left such an effect on her. She thought of their time in the library and how at ease and charming he had been, and her heart began to pound.
What in the world was going on? Why was she reacting like this to him? How was it this man was having such an effect on her? She did not even like him!
At least, that is what she told herself…but it was becoming harder and harder to believe that the more she came to know him.
***
Edward
“Ah, Miss Clifford! There you are! Look who decided to grace us with his presence at last?”
Edward flinched, but not so much at Emily’s light jab as to the sudden realization that Miss Clifford was standing just inside the dining room door. He turned toward her and felt a flash of irritation, but he quickly pushed it down. He was in a foul mood…had been since the night before…but he did not want to take it out on Miss Clifford.
Even if she had been haunting his thoughts, frustrating him to no end.
She looked beautiful, even in her plain grey dress. Edward suspected, though, that she would be lovely in just about anything, even a burlap bag.
