Page 87 of Accidentally Falling
It all happened so fast.
The only one that hasn’t left is Jude.
“Thank you for sharing that,” my father says softly. “I know that wasn’t easy.” His acceptance shifts a piece of my heart back into place, quieting the doubt that had been festering inside me.
“It’s a work in progress.”
“There will be more moments of uncertainty and emotions both good and bad in our future, but I want us to be able to talk about it, even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when it hurts.”
“I feel ridiculous.”
“You’re allowed to feel anything you want. I just hope you can see I’m not going anywhere and I’ll respect the pace you want to go. I want to do this right, and if putting our relationship on the back burner is what you need to focus on the baby and Jude then I will wait.”
“I don’t?—”
“I love you and the time you need won’t change that. I don’t want to speak for your mother, but I know she feels the same. I want to be a part of your life that’s not stressful. The part that when I call, you see my name and don’t send it to voicemail. I want to be someone you ask to come over when you want company but don’t want to leave the house. I want the big things and the little things. Hell, if you think I’m kidding, Ellison picked me up and we went grocery shopping. It was a great time.”
“Did you pay for them?” I ask wryly and he shrugs.
“I did because she was eyeing cookies and sweetsfor the babyand I wanted to make sure she got them.”
“That sounds nothing like her,” I joke.
“Don’t I know it. Are you and Jude okay?”
“We will be.”
“Good, the last thing we wanted was to come between you two.”
“I know. I just wasn’t prepared for everything today and it’s taking a toll on me.”
“Well, I’ll let you rest. I just wanted to explain a little better than I had earlier.”
“I appreciate it.”
We say our goodbyes and I walk him to the door with a little wave before grabbing my keys off the counter.
Because I’m exhausted but there’s one more thing I have to do, and it may be the most important thing I’ve ever done.
49
JUDE
I’m surprised there’s anyone in the bar today. One look at me should have had them turning and getting the hell out. I’m pissed and currently trying to ignore the heaviness in my chest and the way it feels hard to breathe right now.
It feels like the glass in my hand is liable to shatter at any moment, my grip tightening as I run the rag over it again and again.
The bell above the door feels like a bomb detonating, and I’m tempted to tell whoever steps through the door that we’re closed and they can fuck right off.
But I can’t.
Because the person who steps into the dimly lit space isn’t just anyone.
It’s Arden.
I still, blood roaring in my ears as she moves toward me, her lips pursing as her hand goes to her belly.
“What’s wrong?” I manage, my voice harsher than I intend butfuckI can’t right now.
