Page 66 of For One Moment With You
‘There was a freak downpour. The road was like a river…’
The voice is warm, concerned, the words connecting with something in my head, triggering the whisper of a memory as my heart misses a beat. You see, somewhere from my past, I know this voice.
‘I’m sure you’d like some time alone with your mum. If there’s anything I can do, you know where to find me.’
Two voices, in unison this time. My boys’ voices.‘Thanks.’
Suddenly I recognise the voice; my mind is in overdrive.Is it Adam? Could he really be here? It’s too much to take in. After the chain of events that unfolded to bring me to Greece in the first place, how I ended up in Chania, how I came to be out in the torrential rain when I fell; out of all the people who could have been there when it happened, how come it was Adam who came to rescue me?
21
Never lose hope, my dear heart. Miracles dwell in the invisible.
RUMI
Dreams can come true. And miracles come when they’re least expected.
‘Mum?’
Robbie’s voice filters into my consciousness; I feel my hand move as his takes it.
‘Try and squeeze my fingers.’
Doing as he says, for the first time, I feel a different sensation. It’s intangible, more akin to the sense of skin against mine. But elation floods through me. It’s a first since I’ve been lying here; there’s absolutely no doubt in my mind that it’s real.
‘Keep trying, Mum.’
Has Robbie felt it too? I try again. Disappointment filling me when there’s nothing. But it’s enough to keep me going; to stop me giving up.
‘We’ll keep trying, Mum. I’m not giving up.’
As Robbie’s words echo mine, emotion wells up inside me. I’m aware of his lips brushing against my cheek, of his familiar scent as he whispers, ‘I love you, Mum. It’s like Auntie Lizzie said. You’re a rainbow. You’re going to get through this.’
I’m a rainbow. Am I? Is that what Lizzie told them? Is it really how my boys see me? Emotion overwhelms me. And because more than anything, I want to hang on, I choose to believe him. After all, there’s nothing as powerful as a mother’s love. So I start to make a plan.When my eyes open, when my lips can form the words, when I hold my boys in my arms– and all of these are going to happen, I tell myself. When the day comes that I can walk out of here, I’m not going to waste any more time. I’m going to live every beautiful second of the rest of my beautiful life.
For a moment, I think of the little bars along the harbour in Chania. Then I picture us sitting at a table at Nicos’s restaurant – me with Alex and Robbie. We’ll eat big plates of food, drink the finest Greek wine. Celebrate this life. As we watch the sun sink behind the horizon, I will listen to each and every word my boys have to say. Laugh about the past. Cry about Lizzie. Then we’ll listen to the rattling of the boats moored, throw scraps of food to the stray cats. And we’ll talk about the future.
With my boys beside me, there’s nothing more I could ask for. Thinking of them, warmth wells up inside me. I sigh silently. Feel my lips twitch into the faintest trace whisper of a smile. Hear the whisper of a voice beside me.
‘Quickly. You have to see. Tilly is moving.’
It seems to trigger a flurry of activity around me. As for me, I’m filled with a sense of wonder I wish I could share, because what none of them know is that it’s love that’s done this.
Love for my boys is bringing me back.
The signs are good, or so I glean from the voices around me. But to my frustration, it isn’t immediate. Instead, another indeterminate period of time passes; but I have lost the ability to measure the days. It’s time during which I’m aware of the haze around me starting to thin out now and then. But only to a point, which leaves me wondering.
If you believe in signs, am I being held where I am for a reason?
I send my plea out to the Universe.
Show me the way. Please.
Then as I lie there, my head starts to spin. Fear fills me.This isn’t supposed to be happening. I’m supposed to be getting better – they said I was.But the haze is thickening again, the hospital fading out. And when the mist clears, I know instantly where I am.
You see, there’s something I never told Lizzie or anyone else, instead choosing to block it out. It’s about that afternoon a few days before my wedding; the afternoon I spent with Adam. That moment I’ve already told you about, when I got up to leave, when he stepped closer.I wish you the best, Tilly. Of everything.His lips touching mine.
I’d been about to walk away, to go back to my flat. But in that glorious moment, I’d forgotten everything else. It was as though we were the only people in the world. Feeling his lips on mine, I’d stood there. Then I was kissing him back, a kiss that became more passionate. Putting my arms around his neck, my fingers felt the softness of his skin, entwined themselves in his hair. Intoxicated, every cell in my body craving to be closer to him.
