Page 17 of For One Moment With You
For a moment, neither of us spoke. ‘Can I say something?’ he said at last. ‘Only, for someone who’s getting married this weekend, you don’t look exactly happy about it.’
I looked up into his eyes – warm, brown eyes – as I realised something. Unlike Gareth, Adam saw the real me. Actuallysawhow I was feeling. Suddenly there was a lump in my throat. ‘Then it won’t surprise you to know I’m having second thoughts.’
He breathed out slowly. ‘And you feel terrible, I’m guessing.’
I nodded. ‘My parents have paid for this amazing wedding. There are all our guests… Some of them are travelling miles, just to see me and Gareth get married. They’ve bought us all these presents… And I feel so guilty – and ungrateful.’
‘This has nothing to do with gratitude.’ Adam looked around. ‘Why don’t we find somewhere away from it all, where we can talk?’
‘Like where?’ The beautiful weather meant people were out in droves, all of them making the most of it. As far as I could see, there was nowhere.
Adam took my hand. ‘I know somewhere.’
I let him lead me away from the park. I was unhappy enough not to care who saw us, or that a man I barely knew was holding my hand. On the other side of the park, we crossed the road and walked up a narrow street. After a minute or so, he stopped outside a terraced house.
‘This is my place.’ He hesitated. ‘I was going to suggest we should go inside. But I don’t want to talk you into doing anything you’ll regret.’
Past caring what anyone else thought, I looked at him. ‘Do you have gin?’
He pushed the gate open, then in front of the house, he unlocked the door and stood back to let me in. As the door closed behind us, I felt my body slump. Here, away from everything and everyone I knew, I no longer felt the need to hide anything.
‘The kitchen’s this way.’ Adam started walking along a passageway.
I followed him into a bright, airy kitchen, freshly painted white, the only colour a row of perfect, miniature cacti plants arranged at intervals on a windowsill.
‘These are cute.’ Going over, I studied them.
‘My cacti? How I ended up with them is a bit of an accident.’ He got out a couple of glasses. ‘I was given the first one as a present. After that, everyone seemed to think I was collecting them.’ He got out some ice, then poured me a drink and passed it to me.
‘Thanks.’ I wandered over to the window, taking in the terrace on which a table and chairs had been set out; the stretch of grass that lay beyond; feeling strangely at home yet at the same time, wondering what the hell I was doing here.
Adam came over and stood beside me. ‘I wish I could help you. I can see how difficult you’re finding this.’ He paused. ‘This is about us, isn’t it?’
As he saidus, my heart leapt. ‘It’s hard to describe.’ I owed it to him to try. ‘Gareth and I get on, and it isn’t that we don’t love each other. But I think it’s more like you said about your ex-girlfriend. There’s something missing, and I’ve only just realised. Meanwhile, the wedding has an energy of its own…’
Adam was silent. ‘Given what you’ve just told me, how can you go ahead?’
‘How can I not?’ There was a lump in my throat.
‘I’m not sure I should be saying this…’ He hesitated. ‘But if you weren’t getting married…’ He stopped himself.
I turned to look at him. ‘What? If I wasn’t, I mean?’
His brown eyes gazed into mine. ‘It probably isn’t going to help. But I’d ask you out for dinner,’ he said softly. ‘That Italian that’s just opened in town with tables outside. We’d order a bottle of chilled wine and tell each other our life stories.’ He paused. ‘I don’t know why it is, but I have this compulsion to know everything about you. Your family, your childhood, your hopes and dreams…’
As he spoke, as I gazed into those beautiful eyes, my heart missed a beat. ‘They’re not exciting,’ I said hastily. My dreams were simple – to live a happy life with the man I loved. Like I said, simple – yet from where I found myself at that moment, unbelievably complicated.
‘I’d still want to hear about them,’ he said quietly.
I was silent. I wanted to know everything about him, too. But a restless feeling filled me. There was no time.
‘Where is your fiancé?’ he asked suddenly. ‘Because if I were him, I’d want to know why you weren’t with me tonight.’
‘I told him I was meeting Lizzie.’ My cheeks flushed at my duplicity. ‘I needed to get out. I couldn’t think straight. Terrible, isn’t it? Lying?’
Adam was quiet for a moment. ‘Can I ask you something?’
I shrugged. ‘Go ahead.’
