Page 45 of Charming the Cowboy
She reached up and touched his face. “But I want to. Because this is… momentous. Incredible. Unexpected. Amazing. I…” She blinked. “None of them were you.”
“What?”
“I think that’s the reason. I think it’s the reason that I could never… It was supposed to be you.”
He cleared his throat. Moved away and settled onto his side. “I’m sorry that I lied to you about that day at the ranch. I did want to kiss you. But… No, I don’t believe in curses, Eliana.”
“Maybe you should revise that, because I did draw The Lovers card. And here we are.”
He seemed to not quite know what to say to that. So he let that settle for a second. “I might not believe in curses, but I havecertainly lived like I do.” He sighed heavily, putting his hand on her hip, right over her tattoo. It was such a casual, intimate gesture, and it made her shiver. “Because it just feels pointless. It feels… My father was dead by thirty-five. He didn’t get to live his dream. He left behind a family. I don’t suppose that’s a curse. But it just shows the potential for a whole lot of awful shit. And I’ve never wanted any of that. Never wanted to leave behind people who love me, never wanted to hurt anyone. To be hurt. It just feels easier. Not just to accept loss, but to own it. To let it change you. To let it protect you.”
“I understand that. I know… I know you don’t want to hurt me. I know why you didn’t want to do this. It’s the same reason that I didn’t. Except I was worried I would hurt you. Or kill you.”
“Well, I’m not dead.”
She nodded. “No.”
She took a deep breath. “So what is this going to be? What even can it be?”
“So, you do believe in magic,” he said.
“I don’t know. Yes. Yes, I do.”
“So what do you believe about magic?”
“I believe that on the whole it’s good. Which I know is silly, because I believe in the curse. But I believe that curse only came into being because something good was so badly used. Because sex, desire, love got twisted up into something, and that woman was so hurt that she took that beautiful thing and turned it into something deadly. My general belief about magic is that it’s in the little ordinary things all around us. That it’s when you pause to look at the little synchronicities. That it’s sunsets and hummingbirds. Flowers. That it’s feeling the weight of crystals in your hand. Savoring a kiss. I think magic is in living. It’s in the everyday. I think magic is there for whoever wants to see it. And it’s not something that only the few can experience.”
“So generally speaking, you think magic is good.”
“Yes. I do. And I think, generally speaking, it’s there to guide us, to lift us up. To make every day just a little bit more beautiful. So maybe this is magic. Magic enough that it got around the curse that you’re worried about. Magic enough that it was the thing that maybe both of us were waiting for. So maybe we have this while it’s magic.”
“You don’t even believe in magic, so I think this is just dude sex logic.”
“Maybe. But am I totally wrong?”
“No. I don’t think you’re totally wrong. I think… Okay. Okay. Let’s do this as long as it’s magic.”
He held her face in his hands and leaned in to kiss her. And she truly did feel like it was magic. All the way down to her toes. It was certainly nothing like she’d ever experienced before. It was everything brilliant and wonderful and bright. And just for now, that was what she wanted. Just for now, she didn’t want to think about curses or what darkness might be waiting around the corner. Because for now, they did have something magical. And she wanted to hold on to it for as long as possible.
Chapter Eight
The next night, they had another wagon ride. And he was planning exactly how he was going to get her alone again. Because he fully intended to make the most of this. For however long… For however long. Eliana was a revelation. She was everything he had ever wanted and more. Everything he had never allowed himself to dream about. Because… Well, like he’d said to her. He couldn’t see a future. Not like the one his parents had had. Or maybe it was just that he was unwilling to explore that future. Maybe it was fear. Maybe. But it had served to protect him for a long time. And he didn’t want to think ahead, not right now. He just wanted to think about her.
And, well, stealth probably wasn’t going to be possible. Not in general. Because Eliana lived with her family, and he lived on the same property as his. After their night in the hotel, she had to go open her shop, he had to go back to the ranch, and frankly, that was pretty much a walk of shame. Rolling up to do farm chores at 11 a.m. was obvious.
“Whew, if we had a whiteboard, we could take that month and erase it, and put that it’s been zero days since she last used your–”
“Thank you, Hank,” Cooper said, coming out of the stall that he was mucking.
“I’m right, though, aren’t I?”
“Why do you care? Go get laid. Stay out of my sex life.”
“Oh. Did you… finally? With Eliana?”
“Hank,” he said. “You’re going to get me killed if you go saying it that loud. I’m going to end up cursed by one of the Sandersons.”
“Why? Was it bad?”
