Page 41 of Charming the Cowboy
She thought that extra forcefully, out to the universe, because she wasn’t trying to fall in love. She wasn’t trying to break a curse. She was only trying to have the sort of fun that everyone else in her family seemed to get to have. She didn’t want to be so alone. She wanted…
You want him. Be honest about that at least.
Yes. She did. She wanted him.
And that was the bottom line of it.
She scurried out the front door, shutting it firmly behind her, and making her way down the sidewalk. She turned around and saw her mom and grandma staring at her through the living room window. Then the curtain swished and shut over their faces. She rolled her eyes and continued to the gate, and then out to the curb. She climbed inside his truck and settled inside. “Well. I told them.”
“Should I expect a shouting phone call from your brother?”
“No. They’re not going to tell him. They respect the right to privacy in my sex life.”
He nodded. “I want you to know that this matters to me,” he said.
Her heart went tight. It started to climb up her throat. She really didn’t want him to say things like that, because if he said things like that, she was going to think that more than sex was possible. Because it was way too easy for her to apply feelings to Cooper. It was the real reason that she had never… That she had never, ever wanted him to know about her crush on him. Because it had never just been about attraction, it had never just been about him being handsome. There were so many handsome men in the world. But Cooper was something different. Something special. He had been, from the time she was a kid.
This brave, gorgeous boy that he’d been, who had braved his loss with a kind of stoicism that she couldn’t even imagine. There had always been something untouchable, larger-than-life about him. She had always felt like he was out of reach.
And now, here he was, well within touching distance, and more than she had ever imagined.
Somehow, she had always thought that her sexual encounter – when she actually had a successful one – would have to be spontaneous. Like she could skirt the edges of the universe, but she had never imagined a man looking it head-on, and deciding that he was just going to be with her anyway.
Well, the encounter was young yet. She was basically white-knuckling it the whole way. Maybe there would be no room.
“What if there’s no vacancy?”
“Then I’m driving until we find a place where there is,” he said.
“Maybe there’s going to be some sign or another that we shouldn’t?—”
He cut her off. “Do you want this?”
“Yes,” she said. “I’ve wanted it. I wanted you for a long time. I’ve wanted you so much that you’re the lead star in all of my fantasies.” Her face went hot. She probably shouldn’t be going this hard. But right now, what was the point of having anything less than total honesty? Right now, what was the point of trying to minimize what they had?
“Then fuck the universe. I’m not going to let anything stop me. If something explodes, I’m having you anyway. I’m not looking for a sign to tell me whether we should or shouldn’t. Maybe it’s a huge mistake. But let’s make it.”
They pulled into the parking lot of Remington Suites, the most luxurious accommodations Wild Rose Point had to offer.
“I don’t make mistakes, Eliana. And that’s one of the things that held me back from you all this time. It could go wrong. It could blow up in our faces. Suck it. Maybe you believe in fate and all that, and I really don’t. But the bottom line is, either way, we have to be willing to do something, sometimes. We have to be willing to make a move, because if you don’t, then you just sit there. You just sit there wanting things that you don’t have. And the reality is, I’m five years younger than my dad was when he died. And that’s sobering shit. I’m going to be cautious forever? Because I don’t want to put a foot wrong, because I want… I don’t even know what I want. To do the right thing, to be something that my dad could be proud of, I guess. But I’ve spent years, with all my emotions buttoned up, pushed down, trying to move on, trying to be strong, trying to be whatever my mom needed, my brother needed, my sister needed, and I have a ranch, and I love it. I’m working toward having the brewery, and I love it. But I want you. I want you, and I don’t think that I can stand living a life where I’ve never had you. If I die when I’m thirty-five… Well, I don’t want it to have been after a life lived without something I really, really wanted.”
She was undone by that. She didn’t even know what to say. That she was that big of a deal to him. That he wanted her that much… It was something she could hardly fathom.
And the horrible, other side of that blade was that she genuinely was afraid that being with her could be the end of him.
Or maybe that was just an excuse. Maybe it was just… Maybe it was just a way to protect herself.
Because it was easier than opening herself up. Easier than putting herself out there.
But this was it. This was the ultimate in putting herself out there. The ultimate in intimacy.
If they could get a room.
He parked his truck in the parking lot, and they got out, the sound of the ocean crashing below them a soundtrack to the walk into the lobby. It was a beautifully appointed building, with luxury details everywhere.
Owned by one of the wealthiest families in town, it was definitely the place for tourists looking for the most luxurious version of Wild Rose Point.
Cooper walked up to the front desk with an extraordinary amount of confidence. “Do you have a room available for the night?”
