Page 68 of Perfect Wives
‘Then what were you two talking about the other day? And don’t you dare tell me it was nothing because I know it was something, and you’ve just told me you want a divorce, so I believe I’m owed some honesty here.’
After a pause, he says, ‘Keira recognised me.’
‘What do you mean?’ I ask.
‘From a dating app.’
My mouth drops open. I’m not sure if I breathe as I repeat his words. ‘A dating app? You’re using a dating app? Why?’ The moment I ask the question, I wish I could snatch it back. It’s obvious why, isn’t it? Nate wanted to meet other women. My ears ring. I can’t tell if it’s rage or grief building inside me. Both.
‘For what it’s worth, I’m sorry,’ he says. ‘I never meant for it to go so far. I set up a profile just to see who would like it, and then I started getting messages.’ He clears his throat. Suddenly, I’m glad it’s dark and I can’t see his face.
‘It felt good to talk to other women,’ he continues. ‘And then at some point, I just…started going on dates.’
‘Dates? Like one date just to chat and then you’d come home again?’ I can feel myself trying to justify this. Make it OK.
Nate makes another noise in his throat. ‘Sometimes.’
‘You slept with them?’ I force myself to ask, even though it feels more like a statement than a question. Our own sex life has been non-existent for so long.
‘Some of them,’ Nate admits. ‘I’m sorry, Georgie. I just wanted to spend time with women who didn’t drain me the way you do.’
I shatter at that final comment. The sticky tape gives way under the weight of my grief, and the tears start to fall. ‘How long for?’ I ask. The answer doesn’t matter, but I have to know.
I sense him shrug in the darkness. ‘A few months. Six maybe.’
All those nights out. I should’ve known, but I didn’t want to see it. The hurt cuts into my throat. Tears sting my eyes, and I have to bite down on the inside of my cheek to stop any more from falling.
Don’t you dare let him see you cry, Georgie Bell.
What the hell happened to Nate’s moral compass? The man I married saw the world in black and white. Good and evil. In loyalty. Choose a side and stick with it. The man I married wouldn’t…
Then I realise how wrong I’ve been about everything. How stupid! All those times I felt Nate watching me. Fearing he’d figured out I’d been insider trading with Reggie all those years ago. I thought he could see my lies. But it was never about me. It was about him. He was worried abouthislies. He’s been working up the courage to tell me this. I should be relieved, but I’m not.
‘Did Jonny know?’ I ask because suddenly I know. The memory slams into me – Jonny that night at the gates when I was on my way to set up for the quiz night. The night he died. That flirtatious smile. The threat.
Nate takes a long swig of wine before answering. ‘Yes. Jonny was my friend. I told him our marriage was over.’
‘When?’ I ask.
‘When what?’
‘When did you tell him?’
Nate shrugs again. ‘The week before he died, I think.’
It suddenly makes sense. That’s when Jonny changed. All these months, he’s been keeping my secret, dangling the threat of telling Nate over me. If Nate told him our marriage was over, he’d have realised he was about to lose his leverage. The game he was playing would’ve been over. It’s why he was pushing me to sleep with him and scare me while he still had the chance. Bastard!
‘Is the hidden camera yours?’ I ask.
Nate laughs bitterly. ‘What? No. Why would you think that?’
‘Come on,’ I reply. ‘Don’t pretend you don’t enjoy knowing what everyone is doing?’
He’s quiet for a moment. ‘Fair enough. But why would I need a camera when I’ve got a perfect view of the street from my study?’
‘You’re not there all the time,’ I push.
He shrugs. ‘True. But it wasn’t me. And I don’t really care whether you believe that or not.’
