Page 60 of Perfect Wives
‘When?’ I ask.
‘Just now. Something about getting in a car.’
I freeze.
Oh God. I’m so used to talking to myself when I’m alone. What else have I said without realising?
‘I’m just worried about us,’ I say, softening my voice. ‘I wanted to fix this.’
‘Well, this isn’t the way,’ he replies, not even bothering to look back as he turns and walks out of the kitchen. His tone just now was casual, like I was an inconvenience, but the humiliation feels like a burn.
The sting is already rising behind my eyes as I stare at the empty doorway, heart thudding. I feel ridiculous, standing here in lace underwear like some desperate housewife cliché, offering myself up to a man who won’t even meet my gaze.
I turn the oven off and follow him into the hall. My skin prickles with a chill that has nothing to do with the temperature. He’s already halfway up the stairs, retreating. Always retreating. Back to his study, no doubt. My fists clench at my sides. What is he doing up there that’s more important than this? Than me. Than saving our marriage.
‘You don’t get to walk away from me,’ I call after him, my voice a hissed whisper. I don’t want Oscar to wake up and hear us, but I can’t stop the heat of my anger and humiliation either.
He turns slowly, beer still in hand.
‘Why don’t you want me anymore?’ I ask, hating the way my voice cracks.
Nate’s expression shifts, and just for a second, he doesn’t look like the charming man I married. He looks like a cornered animal. Then his body sags, and he exhales slowly.
‘I’ve been trying to find a way to say this for a while,’ he says, and already the hurt is a deep welt in my chest. ‘But this isn’t working. I don’t think we can be fixed.’
He moves to go. Like it’s that easy to throw away ten years of marriage and the life I’ve built for us.
‘Hey,’ I call after him.
He pauses but doesn’t turn to face me.
‘Are you having an affair?’ I think of the way he acted around Keira yesterday at the school drop-off. The issues in our marriage started long before Keira arrived, but I can’t shake the feeling she’s connected. ‘With Keira?’ I push.
That makes him look back. A frown pinches his brow. ‘Who?’
‘You know who,’ I reply, my hands clenching at my sides.
He sighs. ‘No. I’m not having an affair with Keira.’
‘Then what happened between us?’ I force out the question. ‘You used to love me, Nate. You used to want me. Now you can’t wait to leave any room I’m in.’
I wait for an answer that doesn’t come. Instead, he just walks away, and somehow, that silence cuts deeper than anything he could’ve said. I swallow the anger clawing its way up my body. I want to yell after him, tell him I’m planning to kill someone for him. For us. For this marriage he’s already halfway out of. For this life I’m far from done saving.
Everything can be fixed. And I will fix us, no matter what it takes.
PRESENT DAY
THIRTY-TWO
GEORGIE
INTERVIEW ROOM 1
My eyes ache from the harsh strip lighting, the kind that I know is making my skin look washed out and grey, showing my age, which no amount of Botox or retinol serum can hide. My entire body is hurting now. The effort of sitting up straight, shoulders back, face relaxed. The ‘I’ve got my shit together’ look I cultivated that day when sixteen-year-old me reinvented myself and stepped into the glass offices of the investment bank like I belonged.
I inhale slowly, stretching my fingers in my lap.
I choose my own path.
