Page 90 of Ten Christmases Without You
“You’re worrying,” he said.
She turned her attention to him. “I am.”
“You’re wondering how you and I will manage.”
She nodded.
“I won’t stop until I find a way to make it work.” He pulled her into a hug and gave her a reassuring squeeze. Then he pulled back and kissed her.
“I miss you already,” she said.
“I’ll come visit soon. And maybe you can break away for a long weekend and come to Jackson Hole. It’s incredible. I saw a bison, an elk, and two bears on the same day.”
Her eyes widened. “That sounds terrifying.”
“Well, the art galleries and shops will take your mind off the wildlife.”
She smiled, then gave him another kiss, and, not wanting to say goodbye, she just said, “See you later.”
“See ya.”
As she walked to her gate, he blew her a kiss. Then, she joined the throngs of passengers and boarded the plane.
In what felt like the blink of an eye, she’d landed at LaGuardia and caught a cab back to her apartment.
After all the hoopla and busy days and nights leading up to the fashion show, she hadn’t had time to really notice the shabbiness of her apartment. With her salary increase over the last year, it was time to find a better place to live. Emmy planned to make a lot of changes in her life, starting today. She was going to make things work with Charlie, she was going to throw herself into her next group of designs, and she was going to settle into a new apartment that fit her better.
But before she did all that, she still needed a few answers. She texted Vivienne and asked if she could call her. Vivienne said “yes” right away.
When she got her old boss on the phone, Emmy explained the scrapbook and what Mitch had told her.
“It’s been difficult to hold all this in while you worked in the office every day,” Vivienne said. “I wanted to tell you, but I owed it to your mother to keep quiet.”
“Well, now you can tell me. Mitch said you’d know the full story of why Mom left designing behind. I know she didn’t fit in with his family. What happened?”
“By the time she’d made the pattern for her wedding dress, she was having doubts,” Vivienne said. “One day, she sat me down in tears and said she wanted to be a mother, but she couldn’t imagine bringing a child into that family full of rules and opinions. They scrutinized her table manners, how she interacted with people at parties, whether she spoke too long because that would overshadow their son, or whether she didn’t speak enough because that appeared rude. She said she couldn’t get her actions right, and the stress of their appraisal wore on her and Mitch’s relationship. The more unhappy she became, the more he seemed to try to compensate, but in the end, his family would always be there, hovering over them, suffocating her.”
“How sad.”
“After a long discussion that ended in tears, I asked if she loved him. She told me, ‘Not enough.’ I think that was when she knew. To keep up appearances that she wasn’t having any doubts about her and Mitch, she’d left Baudelaire’s, and Mitch’s family paid for her to have her own design studio in Paris. They completely furnished it and got her everything she needed. But then it was as if they owned her. She said she felt like a prisoner. His mother pulled her aside and told her that she’d eventually learn the protocol and find a quiet little spot in the family where she wouldn’t ruffle any feathers. But because they’d given her so much, she owed them with her absolute devotion to their son. You know your mom. She wasn’t planning to owe anyone anything. She dropped her dress and the note off at Mitch’s studio and never looked back.
“She cried a lot over it. She hadn’t meant to hurt Mitch. She was in tears again in a café when your dad walked in. He was so sweet to her that she knew at that moment that life could be so much better. I swear, I think she fell in love with him the minute she saw him. She told me your dad made her realize she hadn’treally ever loved anyone yet. So she quietly saw him every day until it was time for him to go back to the U.S. Then she bought a one-way ticket to Tennessee.”
“What an incredible story,” Emmy said. “I feel like I never knew her until now.”
“She was a wonderful woman and the best friend a girl could ever have.”
“Can I ask you a tough question?”
“Of course.”
“If you were such good friends with my mom, why didn’t you give me a shot at work?”
Vivienne was silent for a moment. Then, she said, “When your mom was dying of cancer, she called me and told me all about you. She asked me to introduce myself and to be there for you, and Madison too, if she needed me. I knew early on, just by the few designs you’d done for me, that you had way too much talent for the job I offered you. I second-guessed myself every day you came to work, wondering if I should have tried to help you find something more suited to your talents. But I also knew that you didn’t believe in yourself. You’re a hard worker. If I’d given you promotions, you’d have spent your whole life working for me instead of doing something incredible. You had to get out there and find yourself.”
Vivienne was right.
“Now look at you. You’re headlining New York runway shows. Pretty impressive.”
