Page 40 of Ten Christmases Without You
“What made you go into PR?”
She laughed. “My favorite professor said I was good at it, and I was already in the program, so I knew it was the perfect fit for me.”
“I didn’t mean who convinced you that you were good enough. I meant what, specifically, about the job of public relations do you enjoy the most?”
An answer should have rolled right off her tongue, but it didn’t. She didn’t really know.
“What kept you from going into some sort of design when you entered college?”
She didn’t want to say the real answer: that she didn’t think she was good enough. “I doubted I’d be any better than anyone else,” she said instead.
“Doubt is what kills us all.”
Simple yet profound. Was that the thing her mother had known that she hadn’t?
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
TWO WEEKS LATER
“Everyone makes New Year’s resolutions,” the morning talk-show host chirped on the television as Emmy popped a piece of toast in the toaster.
“But do we stick to them?” the cohost asked.
“Absolutely not,” the other host replied.
Laughter rang out in the studio and Emmy rolled her eyes.
For years, she had been too busy with work during the weekdays to watch this show. By now, she’d be two blocks down, grabbing a coffee at the cart on the corner and heading to The Moreau Agency.
She cracked two eggs into a bowl and stirred them as the pan heated on the stove, then poured the mixture in.
“What, exactly, separates those who do stick to their resolutions?” the host asked.
Holding the spatula, Emmy leaned over to view the TV across the open space from the kitchen to the living area.
“We’re about to find out from life coach Tamera Walls. Hi, Tamera.”
“Hello.”
“So tell us, what isThe Thingthat successful people have?”
Emmy took a few steps toward the TV, her attention entirely on the hosts and their guest.Yes, life coach, tell us.
“Keeping your resolutions isn’t one specific thing. Success is a combination of your mindset and your habits. You have to have specific goals, know why you’re doing them, and then hold yourself accountable.”
Emmy picked up the remote and clicked off the TV, then went back into the kitchen.Easy for you to say, she thought.I can’t even come up with my goals. That’s step one.
She’d been thinking a lot about her conversation with Charlie—about doubting herself—but she hadn’t gotten far enough in her journey to doubt anything. How could she doubt what she hadn’t even defined yet?
The toast popped. She plucked it from the toaster and set it on her plate. As she stirred the eggs, she pondered her next steps. What were her goals, exactly?
Her phone rang.Madison.She had yet to fill her sister in on the last two weeks of her life. She cradled the phone between her chin and shoulder as she scooped scrambled eggs onto the piece of toast. She pulled a knife and fork from the drawer as she answered the call.
“What’s up?” Emmy asked.
“Glad I caught you before work. Just checking in on you. How’s it going?”
Emmy blew a large breath through her lips and took her plate over to the small table and chairs. She hadn’t filled her sister in on anything yet. Telling Madison and then hearing her two cents would make the whole situation real, and Emmy had enough stress without the weight of her sister’s concern. But she had to let Madison know eventually, and there would never be a better time.
