Page 23 of Ten Christmases Without You
“For Mom? What about enjoying it for yourself?”
“Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with me. It isn’t like bad luck follows me or anything. It’s more that I’m sort of stuck in complacency. Nothing out of the ordinary happens to me.”
“Are you giving the out of the ordinary a chance to happen to you?”
Emmy turned toward her sister and propped her feet on the bottom of her chair. “What do you mean?”
“Sometimes, you can be too careful—to the point of missing opportunities.”
“Like when?” Emmy challenged.
Madison frowned. “You chose to go to college based on how close it was to home.”
“That was just being practical. I didn’t have to pay for room and board.”
“True, but you didn’t experience any of the on-campus activities. You never got to learn what it was like to order pizza at two in the morning when you had a group of friends in your dorm room, staying up all night just because you could.”
“Who would do that?”
Madison grinned. “I did. It’s a true story. We went out to a party and then came back to my room.”
“And doing that was more helpful to your life than saving money?”
“One of those girls was my bridesmaid, Amanda Mathis.”
“And?”
“I met her that night. She lived on the other side of campus, and we didn’t share any classes together. I wouldn’t have met her had we not come back to my room. She’s been my best friend ever since.”
“I think life is full of those moments, though. Maybe if you hadn’t met her, you’d have met another wonderful person later. What does this have to do with me?”
“Who are your best friends, Emmy?”
Was Madison seeing something that Emmy didn’t?
“I’m not trying to bring you down,” Madison said. “You asked why nothing out of the ordinary happens to you, and I gave you my honest answer. I think you should take more risks.”
“Mom didn’t take risks. She was happy at home, raising us.”
“But before we came along, she flew to Paris to study design. And the biggest risk of all: She gave it up to raise us.” Madison picked up her mug, thoughtful. “I miss her.”
“Yeah, me too.” Emmy took a sip of the dark-roast coffee and swallowed, the liquid warming her. “I wish I could’ve questioned why she let go of her talents to be our mom. I never asked her whether she missed designing.”
“I feel like she stopped before her designs had a chance to get traction and blow up. She could’ve been huge. She was so talented.” Madison shook her head. “I guess she just wanted to be a mother.”
“I get so wrapped up in my own life. I can’t imagine having two little souls to take care of. She did everything for us. She was at all the school activities and meetings. She sat with us every afternoon—remember? She spent hours—all the way until dinner. Then, she’d make a huge feast for us all. And I never saw her flustered.”
Madison squinted at Emmy and then took a sip from her mug. “That’s not normal, is it?”
“I don’t think it is. How did she do that?”
“I have no idea.”
“I’m happy she did all that for us,” Emmy said, “and she seemed content. But don’t you wonder what she could’ve been if she hadn’t chosen to be our mom?”
“I wonder all the time.” Madison set her mug back down. “Oh, speaking of Mom, last year, when her dress arrived from Baudelaire’s, I was so worried about it getting wrinkled in packaging that I hung it right up on the closet door and shoved the box in the loft closet. Dad mentioned when he went to break down the box, there was an envelope with some of her designs stuck in the bottom flap. Do you want them?”
“You and Dad don’t want any of them?”
