Page 18 of The Marriage Deal
Oh oh. Whenever Jess did a ‘you know what’, she was about to suggest we go on a bender.
"Jess."
"We should do a girls' night. Just us two. Fuck Billie."
It was Thursday, and while I don't drink on weekdays unless it's a Friday, I was feeling like a beer or two. If only I could. I was supposed to be at a workshop right now, but Levi had given me a huge workload, which he needed done 'like yesterday', he said. He was probably punishing me for thinking I spread rumors of us seeing each other.
"Can't. Professor Phantom needs this paper."
Jess clucked her tongue. "There's always work to do. Come on. You need to let off some steam."
"Fine. But only two beers and not a bender."
She clapped with glee. "Great. Pick you up after work."
A message popped up on my laptop. It was from Levi.
Levi: Tick tock Miss Edwards.
I made a middle finger gesture at my laptop.
"What is it?" Jess asked.
"That prick is demanding his paper. Let me get on with it."
Jess waved me goodbye, and I got back to work. Levi sent another message.
Levi: Your performance review is coming soon, and delays like this will reflect on your review.
I rolled my eyes and did the thing I usually do whenever he acts like this.
Me: You fucking asshole. I was working on your paper, but instead I had to endure your shouting match. A distraction that made it difficult not for me, but for the entire department. Fuck you and your PAPER!
I deleted that message before sending it and instead sent:
Me: Your paper will be ready in five minutes.
???
THE PUB WAS NOT as full now that the semester was over. Most of the patrons were adjunct professors like Jess, teaching assistants like me, and full-timePhD students. Jess and I were in our favorite corner of the bar, four glasses of beer in. Or was it six? I had lost count, my vision was getting blurry, and I was feeling buzzed. A giggle burst out of me as Jess hit the punchline of her favorite joke. She had told me more times than I could count, but it still made me laugh, especially when I was drunk.
The door to the pub opened, a couple walked in, and I froze. The man and woman looked like Wyatt and Billie, but as they strolled down to a table diagonally opposite ours, I realized it wasn't them. "Those two ingrates are never coming here. They know how much we frequent this place. I know Billie is embarrassed enough not to come."
I settled comfortably on the bench and took a sip of my beer, the frothy drink fizzing down my throat. "I wasn't thinking of them," I said as nonchalantly as I could muster.
Jess burped. "What you need," she gestured at me with her beer mug, "is a good fuck."
I leaned back in surprise. "Is that potty mouth Jess I hear?"
She nodded. "And potty mouth Jess says you are in desperate need of a good fuck from a hot, handsome…man." She chuckled."Or woman." Burp. "But I think a good, long dick is just the thing for you."
I sighed, glancing around the pub full of humanities nerds. "If only one could be found so easily."
It was Jess's turn to be surprised. "Says the person working a door away from the hottest professor in the department—no, the entire university."
I rolled my eyes. "Professor Hot-and-Cold can fuck off, honestly. He went from a knight in shining armor one night to brushing me cold the next day." Technically not the next day, because he was still a perfect gentleman after he punched Wyatt in the face. He made me breakfast, washed and dried my vomit-stained clothes, and then drove me to my sister's place after. But Monday was a different matter. When I tried to give him a thank you cake, he flat out refused and claimed he was allergic to butter. Which was a lie, because I know for a fact he's not allergic to butter. He liked butter on his bread. I had seen him eat it plenty of times! But that was not it. He then proceeded to give me an insane amount of work. And when I asked to attend a workshop for history PhD students, he had refused, saying I needed to finish the workload he had given me. Work that wasn't urgent, I might add. So fuck him.
"Yeah. I don't understand him sometimes when it comes to you. Are you sure he hates you?"
