Page 10 of Double Cowboys
My brother looks up and guffaws.
“Are you fucking kidding me? You’re ready to break the silence? You’re ready to tell our salt-of-the-Earth family that we share ladies, and that said ladies crave two dicks in their cunts? Hell no.”
I shrug.
“Maybe it’s time. We’re becoming old men, bro. Seriously, I saw a gray hair this morning.”
My twins guffaws again.
“What, growing out of your asscrack? Please, the Madewells would keel over from heart attacks if we brought around a young woman for the both of us. Be real, bud. It ain’t happening.”
Still, I’m not dissuaded.
“Baby steps then. Maybe we could say that she’s our friend.”
My brother practically falls out of his chair.
“Like we’re in fifth grade? What crack are you smoking? No one says that someone of the opposite sex is their “friend” these days. It’s fucking baloney and they’ll see right through it.”
I shrug again.
“People only see what they want to see, and I think it’s time to start making inroads. It’s been twenty years, bro, and we’ve never let on about our dating preferences. But in this day and age, polyamory is everywhere. Hell, I heard they even have a new dating site that specializes in those kinds of hook-ups.”
My brother snorts.
“Online dating is a shitshow. I wouldn’t touch that shit with my dick.”
I nod, unfazed by his rude language.
“Me neither, but I’m just saying. It’s not justFarmer Wants a Wifeor Christian Singles these days. There are a lot of alternative relationships out there, and if you turn on the TV or glance on Instagram, you’ll see it. Maybe the Madewells are more progressive than we think.”
My brother snorts again.
“No. They’re not. They’d shit their pants if they found out that we share women.”
“You never know,” I say in a light tone. “There’s a culture war going on, and peoplecanchange. Values and morals can morph over time, even within a few months sometimes. It happens.”
My brother shoots a disgusted look at me.
“Okay fine, tell you what. We’ll bring a woman to the next family function, but first, we have tofindthe right woman. She can’t be like Arielle from long ago, or any of the other hooches we’ve dated since. It has to be someone respectable. Someone who would fit in. Locate her, and we’ll do it,” he smirks. “I’m on board.”
Colt has a good point because all this talk has been entirely hypothetical. Sure, we date women all the time, but none of the ladies we’ve taken out are presentable to family. They’re just not. We like them slick, hungry, and plush, and the women we’ve been with don’t exactly embody “lady in the streets, and a freak in the sheets.” Instead, they tend to look like sexy strippers 24/7, which wouldnotgo over well with our relatives.
So back to square one. Damn, I had no idea it’d be this hard. Where do I go to find a presentable woman for my brother and I to test drive? Should I hit up that polyamorous dating site people have mentioned, Feeld or something? Supposedly there are a lot of open-minded folks there. Maybe I could even hire someone for some sordid role-play.
At that moment, a knock sounds on the office door, jolting me out of my reverie.
“Come,” I call.
Winston, our ranch foreman, pokes his head in.
“Hey boss,” he greets. “I got that new ranch hand with me. Can I bring her in to say a quick hello? By the way, Trouble gave birth last night, and the colt’s a beaut. Strong and already prancing around like he owns the place.”
I nod because despite her name, Trouble is one of our best mares, and she was bred earlier this year to Prince Pegasus IV over at the King Ranch. I have no idea why the fuck that ranch gives their stallions such ridiculous names, but it happens a lot with stud farms. Nonetheless, a birth is never easy and it’s good to hear that the colt’s hale and healthy.
“Sure,” my brother says. “Bring her in for a hello. And give Trouble some extra oats, as well as that new nutritional supplement we’re trying out. It’s supposed help new mothers.”
I shake my head because veterinary science is such a shitshow these days. I know the wellness trend had taken off among humans, but believe it or not, that shit extends to animals too. Now you can get overnight oats for your lambs, as well as special colostrum for ailing goats. What the fuck is this world coming to.
