Page 55 of Taboo
She smiles. “Let me go get some plates, chopsticks, and forks from the kitchen.”
“I’ll help,” Jason offers eagerly.
I watch the two of them leave the room. How close they have become in such a short time. When they come back, Amelia hands out the plates, and we sit on the rug, cross-legged, the takeout spread out like a picnic. Jason digs into the rice. His awkward handling of his chopsticks makes Amelia laugh. She reaches out to help him. Her fingers are deft and gentle, but skilled. She seems so natural with him, so loving.
We talk, easy, natural—Jason about his dragon drawing, Amelia about the painting, me about my meeting that wentbetter than I expected. I recount the funny Japanese joke about the cat and the cow that my business associate told me. They both laugh, and their laughter is bright and unguarded, and it fills the studio. Once again, I take it all in and I’m struck by how right this feels, how alive I am with them. Amelia draws my attention to Jason’s drawings.
“These dragons are amazing, buddy,” I say, nodding at Jason’s drawings, my voice warm with pride. “You’re really good.”
“Aunt Amelia taught me,” he says, beaming, rice sticking to his cheek. I reach out and do what I never do. I wipe away the grain of rice.
He grins at me.
“Well, she did great because you’re showing so much promise," I say.
"Thank you, Daddy," He beams with pleasure.
“You’re a great teacher,” I murmur, turning my gaze to Amelia, and she blushes, her smile shy but radiant. When we finish eating, the plates are pushed aside, and Jason turns to me. “What shall we do now, Daddy?”
I glance at Amelia, a spark of an idea hitting me. “How about ice cream?” My voice is light, but my heart is full of happiness. “Let’s go to the town center, to Parsons night market, and get some ice cream.”
Jason’s eyes immediately light up, and he bounces to his feet. “Yes! Yes! Let’s get ice cream. Can I get chocolate with lots and lots of nuts on it?”
I laugh. “Tonight, you can have anything you want.”
Amelia stands and brushes crumbs from her jeans. “Sounds perfect,” she says with a smile. Her voice is warm, but there’s a flicker in her eyes, a shadow, a sadness. And I know exactly what that is about. Soon, this will all end for us.
We clean up properly then, taking the dishes down to the kitchen, and then we take a few minutes to get ready before heading out in the SUV.
The town centeris alive with noise and activity when we arrive. Jason skips ahead, humming a tune, his sneakers flashing lights, his favorite stuffed dog tucked under his arm.
The crowd is full of families, couples, and kids darting through arcade games and food stalls. Jason’s joy is electric, his laughter loud as he jumps, pointing at a balloon vendor. I’m stunned, watching him, my shy, quiet son transformed, bubbling with life.
“Want a balloon?”
“Yup. I do.”
I buy him a large dog balloon, and we carry on walking towards the ice cream vendor.
Amelia walks beside me, her arm brushing mine, her floral sundress swaying, and I’m struck again by how she does this—brings color, life, to everything.
“It’s lovely to see him so happy,” Amelia notes as we watch Jason dart to the ice cream stand. His voice is excited as he orders chocolate with sprinkles and loads of nuts. “So bubbly and talkative. I’ve never seen him like this.”
I nod, observing the same as I watch him laugh with the vendor. His face is so animated and happy.
“I agree,” I say reflectively. “He’s always been quiet, timid. Maybe Sara is stricter with him, you know? As his mom, she’s got rules and a structure that he has to follow.”
My words hang between us. It’s a truth I haven’t voiced before but now that I have said it, I realize how blind I have been.I glance at Amelia, her eyes thoughtful. I left it all to Sara, and she decided what was best for Jason.
“Maybe,” Amelia murmurs, her hand brushing mine.
It’s a fleeting touch that sparks immense regret in me.
“He’s happy with us,” she says. Her tone is gentle, but there is a truth that hits hard. Jason is happy because he is with us. I nod in agreement.
We all get our ice cream—mint chip for me, pistachio for Amelia—and then we sit on a bench to enjoy it. The night is warm, the crowd a lively hum around us. Jason licks his cone, sprinkles falling, and I make a big promise.
I won’t be an absent dad anymore. Never again.
