Page 6 of Luca
She disappears into the bathroom and comes back with scissors. Ten minutes later, my hair falls to my shoulders in the same gentle waves Sofia's always favored.
"Try on my clothes," I say, nodding toward my backpack. "You need to look like me when you leave."
Sofia picks through my things like they might bite her. She's never worn ripped jeans in her life, never owned motorcycle boots or a smoky leather jacket with patches.
"I don't know how to be you," she says, holding up my jeans.
"You don't have to be me forever. Just long enough to get on a train and far away from here. If you run into any trouble or need to get in touch with me, go to Prague. I have friendsthere. But don’t go there first. Travel as far away as the train will take you today and definitely outside of Italy."
By two o'clock, she's dressed in my clothes and carrying my passport. The leather jacket swallows her small frame, and the boots make her walk differently. She looks like a lost child playing dress-up.
But she also looks free.
"The train station is only twenty minutes away," she says, checking my phone. "If you think you’re prepared, I can catch the next train out of the city."
"Do you know where you want to go?"
She shakes her head and gives me a soft smile. "Doesn't matter. Just away from here. Away from him."
Then comes the conversation I've been dreading.
"Sofia," I say, settling onto her bed. "Before you go, I need to ask you some things. About Luca. About what he expects tonight from... Sofia."
Her cheeks flush pink. "What do you mean?"
"I mean tonight is my wedding night. Our wedding night. And I should know what he's expecting from his bride."
"Oh." She sits down heavily in her desk chair. "Oh, God, I hadn't even thought about that part."
"Have you two... I mean, how physical have you been? What has he seen, what does he know about Sofia's... experience level?"
"We've barely touched each other. Papa insisted on traditional courtship. Supervised visits, formal dinners, always with chaperones."
"Thank God for traditions! But you've kissed?"
"Only once. At the engagement party. Just a quick kiss on the mouth in front of everyone. Very polite, very brief." She covers her face with her hands. "What if he expects... what if he wants..."
"Hey." I move to kneel in front of her chair. "It's going to be okay. I can handle whatever happens."
"But you don't know him. You don't know what he's like when he's alone with someone. I don’t know either. That’s why I’m so scared."
"I'll figure it out. I always do."
She looks up at me with tears in her eyes. "What if he hurts you? I’ll never be able to forgive myself."
"Then I'll deal with it. But listen to me. I need you to tell me honestly what you would do tonight? How would you act? Would you be nervous? Terrified?"
"Terrified," Sofia says immediately. "I would be absolutely terrified. I've never... I mean, I've barely even kissed anyone, let alone had sex with someone."
"Ok, got it. So, you’re a virgin bride, completely inexperienced, probably expecting him to be gentle and patient?"
"Gentle? No! I have no idea what to expect from him, but gentle wouldn’t be it." Her face crumples. "What if you can't pull it off? What if he realizes something's wrong?"
I think about this carefully. A terrified virgin bride on her wedding night would be expected to be nervous, maybe even resistant. It would actually give me cover for any behavior that seemed out of character.
"Terrified works in my favor," I tell her. "If you’re expected to be scared and inexperienced, then I can behesitant and uncomfortable. It gives me room to feel out the situation without drawing suspicions."
"But what if he's... what if he's not gentle? What if he's used to taking what he wants?"
