Page 48 of Heir of Fire
“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” Gianna asked quietly.
“I don’t know,” he said, authenticity coating his voice. “Maybe it was because I thought it would make me tougher or I thought I deserved it, or because I had already dealt with it for that long, I knew it wouldn’t be able to last forever. I don’t fucking know.”
“And you were hesitant to kill him,” she said. “When everything was happening last year, you hesitated.”
“I know I’m fucked up.” He gripped the wheel in his hand, turning his knuckles white. “You don’t have to remind me.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you think it like everyone else.”
“No, I don’t,” she said, grabbing his hand. It took some effort to pull it off the steering wheel, but he let her hold it anyway. “I’m trying to understand you.”
Finn looked at her, and in the moonlight, she caught the glazed-over look in his eyes. The unshed tears, it seemed.
“Why?” His voice was soft, small even. It lacked the confidence that he always seemed to carry, the one that now seemed to be a facade.
She swallowed harshly. “I don’t know. But you should know that I would never judge you, especially over how you feel about your parents.”
“Your mother?”
“Ding ding ding,” she said, laughing sarcastically. It sounded strained and forced rather than her usual authentic laugh.
“I’ll kill her for you if you want,” he said out of nowhere. “No one who makes you feel like shit should take another breath.”
Her eyes widened in shock, but she shook her head immediately. “No, that’s okay. Like I said, it’s complicated.”
He shrugged, intertwining his fingers with hers. “If you change your mind, the offer stands.”
She couldn’t do anything but laugh in disbelief. If that was his way of trying to be sweet and romantic, it certainly was flawed and wrong, but the sentiment was there. And it showed her that maybe she was just as fucked up because even with the option available, she wouldn’t take it because in the back of her mind she still thought about the ‘what if’ of a better relationship with her mother.
They had been so deep in their conversation, she hadn’t even realized that it was raining now, pounding against the windows and the roof of the car.
“It’s a good thing we didn’t take the bike,” Finn said, just as another crack of thunder cut through.
“You and that damn bike.” She rolled her eyes, trying to hide the smile on her face.
He grinned, poking her side. “Don’t be jealous. You can be my favorite girl; she can come second.”
“Oh God. Tell me, does she have a name too?”
“FiFi.”
She gasped. “That’s terrible.”
“I think it’s cute.”
“What’s that supposed to be a play on? Finn?”
“She’s my daughter.”
Gianna let out a loud laugh, the cackle filling the small space. “Remind me to never let you name anything.”
His eyes lit up. “Oh yeah? Like what? Our kids?”
She shut up immediately. “I didn’t say that.”
Finn shrugged. “I’ll have a baby with you, but I’m more interested in the creating, if I’m being honest.”
