Page 39 of That Friendzone Feeling
Thewipers beat time, and yet it’s also like time has stopped.
Ineed to kiss away her pain.Butit’s notherpain, is it?It’smine.Thepain she’s taken on for me.
Emilyparts her lips and presses harder against me as ourtongues meet, finding each other for the first time.Ipull her to me in the warm darkness, cocooned in the car, the rain battering against it, a backbeat to the pounding of my heart.
Allthe thingsIalready think, already know, about how bad an idea this is—how it endangers our friendship, our business, our lives that are so tied together—are still there, still true.Thisis the biggest risk of my life.AndI’mtotally prepared to take it.
Herfingers are in my hair, mine in hers, like we can’t pull our mouths close enough.Lustand love and a decade of yearning swirl together and course through my veins.
Iwas kidding myself that these feelings forEmilystarted onNewYear’sEvewhen my lips touched hers for the first time.I’vebeen kidding myself for a long time.
Allmy dates fail because five minutes in,Ijust want to callEmand tell her how dull the person is and laugh with her about it.Noone matches up toEmily.Noone will ever be as smart, as hilarious, as brilliant, and as bad at throwing things as her.
Herlips, her tongue, the sweet warmth of her mouth, spark a fire in my chest that shoots flames lower.
Itwas always inconceivable she would ever see me as anything but her friend.Sohell must have frozen over, or pigs started flying, or the world be turning in the other direction, because she wants me.Sheloves me.
Iopen my eyes a crack, the light on her lashes reminding me we’re in a crashed car, in the middle of nowhere, in a rainstorm.Thethrill of everything this kiss means, the buzz of the possibilities for our future, needs to pause for just a moment while we deal with all of that.
Iease back from our mutual desperate need, my heart banging, both of us panting, struggling to catch our breath.
Irest my forehead on hers and stroke her soft cheek. “Tenyears, andnowis the moment you pick?”
Shelaces her fingers through mine and presses my hand against her face.Hermouth turns up just a touch at the corners. “Sometimestiming just is what it is.”
Ipress my lips against hers and close my eyes asIhold them there, motionless, for a second.Thelast thingIwant to do is pull away, but we need to sort this out.
Idot kisses along her bottom lip, then a final one on the tip of her nose. “Holdthat thought.”
Wepull apart, two separate people again, in separate seats.Butour eyes hold onto each other, neither one of us willing to let go completely.
Andwe’re connected more than ever now—she’s the holder of my biggest secret.
Ican barely believeI’veconfessed my fake bellyache to another living soul.Butshe deserved to knowIwasn’t angry with her.Thatthe only personI’mangry with, and oh-so-fucking-disappointed in, is myself.BecauseI’vedone it again—come within inches of losing someoneIlove, becauseImade us late.
ButIknew she wouldn’t judge me.Iknew she wouldn’t tell me the wayIfeel is wrong, even if she does thinkIshouldn’t blame myself.Iknew she’d simply understand and sympathize.
Andmaybe she’ll now also understand whyIworry about her when she’s late.
I’malready feeling a little lighter, and not just because her kiss has me almost levitating from this seat.Maybethere’s some truth to the saying “a problem shared is a problem halved.”Ifyou share it with the right person.
Ican’t resist and pull her back to me for one more peck on the lips.Shegiggles against my mouth, like she can’t getenough of it either.It’sa sharp contrast to the serious situation around us.
Backto reality though, and this very real crashed car. “Right,”Isay. “Wecan’t risk driving this thing.Weneed a cab.”Ipull my phone from my pocket. “Shit.Noservice.You?”
Emilygrabs her phone from the central console. “Nope.Ofcourse not.It’spatchy out here at the best of times.It’sonly ever reliable at the resort end, in the village, and at the airport.Plus, we’re in a dip here.”
“Yeah.”Ilean around the back of her seat to look out the window and try to assess our location, but with rain-soaked windows and no streetlights, that’s impossible. “Ithink we just need to get up the hill to the resort.”
Shewidens her eyes at the rain sloshing off the windshield. “Areyou suggesting we walk?”
Ihold up my phone, which might as well be a sandwich for all the calls it can make right now. “Dowe have a choice?It’snot like we can flag down a passing vehicle.”Igesture to the road behind us, where we haven’t seen a single soul since we left the airport. “Noone else is going to be heading to the resort at night and in a rainstorm, and there’s nothing else along here apart from that.”
“Fuck.”Emilytugs at her wool jacket. “Thisis allIhave.Everythingelse is back at the hotel.”
“Holdon.”Itwist and stretch between our seats to reach my bag in the back.
“Thanksfor putting your butt in my face,” she says.
