Page 22 of That Fake Feeling
Shenarrows her cushiony lips to a thin line and gazes right past me. “Well, clearlyIdon’t.Latelymy idea of a good time has been paying my bills and still having enough money for groceries.Oh, and meeting my essay deadlines and getting more than five consecutive hours of sleep.”
Shescans the cloudless blue sky, the bright green foliage that lines the lake, and a couple laughing and taking pictures in a boat a few feet away.
“ButifIwere to have time for fun, it would probably look a lot like this.”Hereyes land on me. “Butwithoutyouin the boat, obviously.”
“Ofcourse.Anyway, let’s get away from everyone else so we can give the photographers their shots and get this over with.”Ipull the oars through the water.
“Whereare the photographers?”Roseasks, looking over one bare shoulder, then the other.Thetank she’s wearing with her shorts hugs her breasts snugly enough to reveal their perfect shape but not so snugly as to leave nothing to the imagination.
“Noidea.Theythink we don’t know they’re here.Theythink it’ll be a real exclusive for them.So, they’ll be hiding behind trees or bushes or something.Sterlingtold them he was secretly tipping them off about my date with a—Ibelieve the word was ‘enchanting’—young woman who’s turning my life around.”
Shetilts her head and gets a mischievous glint in her eye. “Wonderwhen she’s going to show up?”
“Sometimenever,Iimagine.Anyway, they’ll think they need to keep out of sight soIdon’t give them a mouthful about invading my privacy.”
Iget into my stride with this rowing lark and head us toward a patch of quieter water near the rocky shore that’s dotted with trees and shrubs.Thesun warms my bare arms and legs—Roseisn’t the only one in shorts today.It’sgood to be out in the fresh air…or as fresh as it gets in the city.
There’sonly one thing shattering the countryside-like atmosphere—the ear-piercing squeak emitted by the metal housing that holds the oars to the boat.
“Thatnoise is super annoying,” saysRose. “Imaginewe were on an actual romantic date and every time you rowed, it sounded like you’re strangling a cat.”
Huh.MissPrissyPantscan be funny.Notthat her pants are prissy.Thosecut-off jeans are anything but—short enough to be tantalizing, but long enough not to be indecent when she bends over.Sheseems to have perfected the art of hitting a perfect middle ground with everything.
“Oh, look.”Shepoints at a rock on the shoreline. “Aturtle.Getclose andI’llmake a big deal of taking a photo of you next to it.”
“You’regetting into this.”
“You’veemployed me to do a job.I’mjust trying to do it well.”
Imaneuver the boat between the low-hanging trees and against the rock where the turtle is sunning itself.Thelittle guy actually does look pretty cute.
Rosepulls her phone out of her purse.
“Leantoward him and look happy.Likeyou’re having the time of your life with the woman who’s made you see the error of all your previous ways.”
“I’dlike to see you try,”Isay through my fake smile.
“Oh, don’t stop yet,” she says asIpull out of my pose. “Thatwas too quick.Youneed to give the paparazzi time to snap us.”Shewaves toward the turtle. “Doit again.Andmaybe make your smile a tad less, you know, serial killer-ish?”
Islap on the cheesiest of grins.
“Thisis the greatest day of my life.”Iforce out between my teeth. “Thisturtle is the finest piece of natureI’veever seen inNewYork.Andyou aren’t even remotely annoying.”
Roseslaps her leg and laughs likeIjust said the most hilarious thing she’s ever heard.She’sreally getting into her role.
“Onemore.”Shestands up and moves so close our knees almost touch, her face a picture of concentration as she focusses on doing her job.
“Okay, done.”Sheretakes her seat.
Igrab the oars and start to move us away from the mini cove we’ve drifted into.
“Duck,”Rosecries and points over my head.
“I’veseen ducks flying before.”
“No!Branch!”
Iturn around to seeIam indeed about to row us into a large overhanging shrub. “Fuck.”
