Page 51 of That Conflicted Feeling
Hetilts his head and does that thing where he smiles with one side of his mouth, likeIamuse him.
“I‘ravished’ you?”Hepresses his lips together to suppress a laugh. “IthoughtI’dtraveled toWarmSprings, not the eighteenth century.”
“Youknow whatImean.”Ikick at the dirt.
“ShouldIhave asked your mother’s permission to be your gentleman caller?Andgiven you time to change into your best petticoats before we take a turn about the park?”
Hetwirls his hand and does a dramatic, sweeping bow.
It’shilarious.Andinfuriating.Andmakes me want to jump on him.
Whydoes the man who is all the things, and who lights a previously unsparked fire in my body and my brain, have to be the man whose enormous business will crush my tiny one?Whyis the universe playing this evil trick on me?
“I’msaying, you can’t just make the whole problem go away with amazing kisses and all that, you know, pressing-me-against-the-tractor stuff.”
“Youthought it was an amazing kiss, huh?”
Oh, why didIsay that?Noadjectives were required. “Itwas a kiss.Itdoesn’t matter whatIthought about it.”
Hecloses the gapI’dput between us. “Ithought it was amazing too.AndIhope the tractor wasn’t the only thing you could feel pressed against you.”Hetwitches his eyebrows at me.And, holy hell, that smile.
“Oh, for the love ofGod.”Theheat of embarrassment, or shame, or whatever the hell this new thing is he’s making me feel, burns in my face.
AllIwant to do is throw my arms around his neck and press my entire body against him.ButIcan’t let myself.Imust get away from him beforeIcave. “Ihave to go.”
AsItry to walk by him, he takes hold of my arm.Histouch sends a tingly shiver down my side and reminds me how damp my underwear is.
Westand frozen for a second, side by side, facing opposite directions, heads turned to stare at each other.
“Ididn’t kiss you to change your mind.FuckknowsI’mextremely aware of how strongly you feel about the store.AndI’mextremely aware of how bad of an idea kissing you is.”Hetips his head back, looks at the sunny sky for a second, and sighs before locking his twinklers back on mine. “ButIdid it anyway.BecauseIwanted to.”
AndIwanted him to want to.I’vewanted him to want to kiss me since the day he unhooked me from the shop door.AndIwanted to kiss him back.AndIwant to kiss him again now.
Butthat would make me more shortsighted than a mole wearing a blindfold.
Completelystupid.
Andirresponsible.
Ineed to fight for my business soIcan take care of the future.
AndIcan’t fight against his storeanddo kissing things with him.Thosetwo things are mutually exclusive.
But, oh my goodLord, those lips look even better nowIknow what they taste like.
“Icouldn’t help myself,” he continues. “Youdrive me crazy.”
Heleans in and moves his mouth in the direction of my cheek.Theentire side of my body from my neck to my ankle is awash with goosebumps before his mouth even touches me.Myeyelids drop of their own free will as he brushes his lips against my cheek with the lightest butterfly kiss.
Hepulls back and looks at me. “IthinkImean crazy in a good way.ButI’mnot totally sure.”
Helets go of my arm andIhaul myself out of his magnetic field. “Ihave to go check on the peopleI’morganizing to stop you having your businessy way with our town.”
Itake a couple of steps away from him, somehow unable to tear my eyes from his face until the last second.
“You’restill taking me to theSpringFair, tomorrow though, right?” he asks.
Igaze into those baby blues.Thereis a window in the heart behind them,I’msure of it.Noone rolls around in mud with goats just to prove a point.Andhe wouldn’t have looked at the kid with such softness and warmth when he bottle-fed her if he had no soul.
