Page 77 of Out of the Dark
Jillian
Eight weeks went by, and I still hadn’t heard anything from Hutch asking me to come see him. I had stopped asking Pat if he had asked for me, how he was doing because I figured Hutch didn’t care about me anymore. It hurt, wondering what I had done to him other than care, but I knew he had demons that he had never showed or told me about. It still didn’t stop me from thinking about him first thing in the morning, and the last thing before I went to bed.
Summer was a busy time for me with classes so I was happy that I didn’t have a lot of free time. I was at the ballet studio from six in the morning until nearly ten at night most days, and dragging myself home to eat, sleep, and repeat again the next day. Wednesday was the only day I didn’t have night classes, and I took the time to catch up on paperwork and anything else I hadn’t had the chance to work on. I was busy stuffing my face with dinner when I heard the front door open around seven o’clock that night and cursed myself for forgetting to lock the door.
“Sorry, we’re closed.” I didn’t even look up from my laptop as I scrolled through my schedule, didn’t even hear the footsteps that moved across the floor, or notice the beautiful man leaning against the doorframe of my office.
“Even for me, Jilly?”
My eyes shot up, my sandwiched dropped onto the desk, and I stared up into the face of Hutch Kelly. His blond hair was longer than I had ever seen it, but it looked good like that. Messy from the wind we had all day today. Hutch was dressed in a plain white shirt that looked too small stretched across his broad chest, and I noticed the way his muscled biceps flexed against the fabric. Clearly, someone had been working out over the last few weeks. His warm chocolate browns begged me to forgive him while his lush red lips were set in a firm line. I let my eyes move away from his face, down his chest, and over his toned thighs, before I realized I had egg salad all over the place.
“Shit,” I muttered, jumping up to grab some napkins to clean myself up.
“Jillian.” Hutch’s voice dripped with sadness, which brought my attention back to him. “I’m sorry.” He took a small step into my office. “Stop.” He grabbed my hands as I continued to make a bigger mess of myself. “I couldn’t let you see me like that, and I never meant for you to find me.” His fingers traced my wrists, over my pulse, and then he squatted down to look me straight in the eyes. “Tell me I’m not too late. That you don’t hate me for pushing you away like that. My head was not where it needed to be, and I didn’t know how to tell you.” Hutch released my hands to cup my face with his big hands. “I love you, Jills, I never stopped loving you, and I need you to know that.”
I opened my mouth as tears began to leak from my eyes. “I could never hate you,” I assured him. My hands came up to grip his wrists. “I should have—”
“No.” Hutch shook his head. “This is not on you. Don’t even say that.” He moved to grip the nape of my neck with one of his hands. “None of it was your fault, do you understand?” When I nodded, he tucked a finger under my chin. “No tears, bean,” Hutch whispered.
Without meaning to, a sob escaped my throat, and then I threw my arms around his neck so I could cling to him as I cried. I knew that’s not what he wanted after all, but I was so happy to see him and hear his voice, that I was feeling every single emotion at once. Hutch just held me against his chest, his arms strong and firm as I let it all out until I had nothing left. When I was done, he reached for the box of tissues I kept on my desk, and pulled out a few to help me get myself together.
“When did you get home?” I dabbed at my face and turned away as I blew my nose. “You look really good. Unlike me, who is leaking snot and tears all over everything.” I tossed my used tissues into the garbage, only to reach for more.
Hutch chuckled softly. “I’ve been home since yesterday afternoon.” When I turned to stare up at him, he shook his head. “Don’t think I didn’t want to come to you first thing.” He eased himself up onto his feet, and then helped me onto mine. “I had to work up the nerve, not to mention I needed to spend time with Hazel. She was so excited to see me, and”—Hutch’s face lit up like the sun when he mentioned her name—“I swear she has grown a foot since I last saw her.” His voice overflowed with emotion.
“She must have been over the moon to see you.” I sniffled as I sat down on the edge of my desk. I knew how important it was for Hutch to reconnect with his daughter and he needed to be with her right now, not with me.
“Hey.” He pushed a piece of hair behind my ear. “What’s going on inside that beautiful head of yours?”
I shook my head. “Nothing,” I lied, afraid to meet his eyes.
“Jillian.” His voice was soft. “Talk to me, please, if you don’t want me here or if something is bothering you, I want to know.” Hutch squared his shoulders and leveled me with a gaze that made goosebumps break out all over my body. “I thought about two people while I was gone, Jillian, and one of them is sitting right in front of me.” His voice had dropped so low it made my stomach clench with desire. “You’re my family.” Fresh tears filled my eyes, but when I tried to look away, his hand flew out to grip my chin. “No, don’t hide from me. We’re not doing that anymore.” His features softened. “Talk to me. You’re the only person that has never been afraid to do that, so don’t hold out on me now,” he whispered.
I hadn’t realized I was holding my breath until I let it out. “Are you sure you should be with me right now? I mean, Hazel is your daughter, and she needs you more than me. You’re her family.” My life had seemed empty without Hutch in it, but putting Hazel first was what was important. I knew that.
“You’re my family, Jilly. You and Hazel are the only ones I want in my life.” Hutch stroked my cheek with his thumb, causing delicious friction to build between my legs. “Go out with me Saturday night.”
“Like on a date?”
“Exactly like a date.”
I dragged my teeth across my bottom lip. “Okay. A date sounds nice.” I wanted more than a date. I wanted Hutch to kiss me right now until I couldn’t see straight and then take me home, strip off my clothes, and drag his tongue all over my pussy until I came on his mouth. Then I wanted to wrap my mouth around his cock, make him cum in my mouth before I straddled his waist and fucked him every which way into next week.
Hutch tilted his head before he dipped his head to slide his lips over mine. “Nice,” he teased, but I saw the way his ears turned pink, and his eyes flashed with need.
When he went to pull back, I grabbed his face with my hands. “Hutch.” My voice cracked as I said his name, but when I pulled his face back to mine and our lips met again in a soft kiss, I sighed happily. The growl that started deep in Hutch’s chest got louder the longer our mouths stayed connected together, his tongue easing its way between the seam of my lips, and before I knew it, he had me caged in between his arms on my desk, panting and wanting more.
“We should stop,” he warned, his brown eyes dark as they met my greens. “Before I take you right here on your desk.”
“Promises, promises,” I teased and wrapped my legs around his waist to pull him closer. I bit back a groan as his erection pressed against my core.
Hutch’s nostrils flared as he stared down at me. “Don’t think that I didn’t think about you, just like this, every day while I was gone. All the things I wanted to do to you, plan on doing to you, but”—he peppered kisses against my mouth and jawline—“let me take you out first. Like I planned.” Hutch pulled back and then helped me sit up. “That doesn’t mean I don’t want you any less.” He pointed to his crotch.
I gazed up him. “I love you,” I murmured, realizing I had never returned his endearment when he told me earlier. “Every minute of every single day, Hutch, while you were gone, that’s all I wanted to tell you. How much I love you, and how much you mean to me.” I sucked in my breath when he turned his back to me.
“Jillian,” Hutch’s voice was low again. “I am so sorry for everything that I put you through.” His shoulders trembled slightly. “With Madison, with—”
I touched his arm. “Don’t do that,” I whispered as he glanced over his shoulder. “You have nothing to apologize for, do you hear me?” I quickly slipped from the desk to wiggle between Hutch’s arms. “I left you and you had every right to move on without me.” I rested my chin against his chest.
