Page 58 of Out of the Dark
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jillian
“Ihad plans to stay,” I admitted before I got up to sit on the couch. I held up a hand before Hutch could interrupt me. “Remember how I came back from visiting New York, meeting my roommate, and going to check out my school? How I wanted to stay here with you instead?”
Hutch nodded.
I swallowed hard as I twisted my fingers together in my lap. “Before I came here, after I got home on that Sunday, I went to the Angry Egg and applied for a waitress job.” I glanced up to find Hutch staring at me with total surprise all over his handsome face. “I...I...I had decided that I was going to stay in Ocean View with you. Work at the Egg, and hopefully, you would let me move in here with you.”
Hutch narrowed his eyes. “Jillian, what the fuck?” he snarled. It looked like the wind was completely knocked out of him.
“Let me get this all out, Hutch, or I’ll never finish.” I pinched the back of my neck. “I had it all planned until you told me I would end up hating myself or you for not following my dreams. Maybe not right away, but five or ten years down the line.” I felt tears beginning to fill my eyes, but I let them. I was an asshole for leaving him behind. A pussy for not having the guts to tell him in the first place. “Which I realized I would. I would hate myself for not at least going to New York like I had wanted since I was five years old and trying to make it.” The tears began to fall now. “I should have said goodbye, but I knew that if I waited, I would chicken out and stay here with you. I couldn’t bear to see the look on your face when I left. I couldn’t deal with saying goodbye to you. I thought that it would be easier.” My voice cracked. “I hated it. I hated living there, but at that point?” I sobbed. “I was there. I had left you, and I had nothing. I wanted to come home, but what was I going to say?” I buried my face in my hands as my body shook angrily.
Hutch moved closer so that he could pull me against him. He didn’t say a word as I cried; he just held me until everything was out, and I felt like I had nothing left in me. When I was done, he smoothed the wetness from my cheeks and stared into my eyes. “I wish you would have told me, Jills.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “If you had just...” He shook his head. “You’re here now though,” he whispered.
“You still want me? Why?” I dared asked.
“I will always want you.”
Another sob threatened to escape my chest. “I hate it there so much, Hutch. I’m a great dancer here, but just an okay dancer in New York. I’m so fucking tired all the time and—” His lips descended on mine before I could finish my sentence.
“Stay here. With me,” he murmured. “Get a job at the Egg.” A smile tugged at the corners of his lips. God, he was so fucking handsome.
“You’re with Madison.”
His nostrils flared. “I’m not with Madison. Not the way you think,” he told me. “We have a daughter who I love with all my heart, but that’s all we share.” Sincerity shone from his eyes. “I never stopped loving you, Jillian.” His lips brushed mine before he pulled back. “You could buy the ballet studio. It’s for sale.”
“What?” I blinked at him.
“Yeah, I saw the other day that there was a For Sale sign on it. You could teach ballet to the kids in Ocean View. We could get married, start a family, and have a life together here.”
“You...you want to marry me?”
Hutch dragged his thumb along my bottom lip. “You find that so hard to believe, beautiful girl?” God, he had changed so much since I last saw him. Or maybe, this was the Hutch he had always been.
“You’re different,” I whispered, reaching up to touch the light-colored scruff that covered his jaw.
A smile appeared on Hutch’s face. “Therapy,” he answered, like that was the answer to everything. “I’m not different, Jilly, I’m me.” He kissed the tip of my nose lightly. “I love you.” He grabbed my waist and lifted me up onto his lap. “First thing on my to-do list,” he murmured as he dropped little kisses against my mouth, chin, and neck. “I want to get some meat on these bones.”
I moaned softly as he licked along my collarbone. Hutch’s touch had always been gentle, but now it felt a little more dangerous. A little more feral. “Then what?” I sighed softly.
“What do you want?” Hutch stopped to cup my face with his big, calloused hands.
“You.” Not that he ever doubted that, but I wanted him to know that now. More than ever, I wanted Hutch. “Make love to me.” I lifted my hips so he could pull down his boxers. My panties were still in a crumpled heap on the floor. “Right here, right now.”
His darkened gaze was enough to tell me he’ll devour me. “Your wish is my command.”
***
Iforgot how much Iloved Hutch’s bed. It was so soft and comfortable. Not to mention he was lying next to me with his arms wrapped tightly around my body like he was afraid I would disappear again. Not that I blamed the man. He not only made love to me like I had requested last night, but then he proceeded to eat me out until I screamed his name, afterward fucking me again right here in this bed. God, I missed him.
He stirred next to me, his face still buried in my neck as he started to wake up. “Good morning.” He gave me a sleepy smile and ran his hand through his messy blond hair. “Fuck, you’re really here,” he whispered.
