Page 54 of Cinderella's Charade With the Duke
She took a step back. ‘Yes,’ she replied simply as if that single word explained everything. She clasped her hands before her and squared her shoulders. ‘My name is Hattie Potts. I am from Stow. I came here in early April to be Millie’s governess. Then you asked me to pretend to be your betrothed, a Lady Penelope Denning. Against my good judgement, I agreed for Millie’s sake and because I wished to help you. When you had your accident and lost your memory, we agreed it best for me to continue pretending. I have wanted to tell you the truth a thousand times, but I didn’t dare.’
Her truth took the foundation out from beneath him. Lightheadedness threatened and he leaned over, pressing his palms hard to his knees, and breathed. This couldn’t be happening again. He couldn’t be betrayed by a woman he thought he knew and loved again. Images of Cecily and this woman merged into one, a colliding of hopes, dreams and trust crushed into bits. It didn’t matter that it seemed he had created part of this disaster. She had lied to him and made him believe she loved him and he her. That she was something other than what she was. He let out a guttural roar of agony. ‘Go!’ he shouted. ‘Leave here. Now!’
She hesitated and didn’t move. To his utter shock, she held her ground.
‘I will not,’ she stated. ‘I love you…and you love me, too. We have spoken the words, no matter who you believed you said them to. That does not change…us.’
‘What?’ he said with a disbelieving laugh as he righted himself.
She stood before him with a lifted chin and flushed cheeks, her eyes glimmering with unshed tears as her bosom rose and fell as she breathed. ‘You heard me, Your Grace. You loved me. You almost made love to me when I was a ladyyesterday, but I stopped you as I could not bear you not knowing the truth. You said you loved me when I was alady. Why does it matter now when you discover I am from a lowly birth and a mere governess? That does not change love. At least it does not to me.’
He scoffed and ran a hand through his hair. The sight of her all glorious with raw emotion glistening off her like the morning dew almost undid his resolve to cast her out. He did care for her. He had created this illusion to begin with. But the memories and fear of the past conquered all.
The knowing of what lies and deceit did to him and his family and how he had been duped before by a lying, calculating woman, who had promised to love and honour him until death they did part as his wife, undid all he felt for Hattie. He shoved his care, his love for her aside and chose safety. It was what his daughter and his position as a duke deserved and demanded.
‘It changes everything,’ he finally said. ‘I cannot trust a liar, especially one bent on deceiving me for my rank and my wealth. I have survived that once before.’
She took a step forward. ‘I am no liar. I did as you asked of me. I did as Daphne and your household asked of me by continuing on with this ruse as you recovered. I did all of this for us because I love you. Butyou…you are just like my father I never knew. Just like those drakes along your pond. Once you have claimed what you want or you feel you deserve better, women like me have no purpose for you, just as they have no purpose for those ducks. AndIbelieved you were different. That you were more than a selfish, arrogant duke. But I was wrong,so wrong. Trudy was right. I should never have trusted you. I am better off without you if you believe so ill of me and who I am.’
He stood speechless as he watched her walk away. Anger, confusion and hurt duelled within him, but in the end, anger won out. He was better off without her, too. He’d known enough liars to last a lifetime. He had one last look at the sun that now burned full and bright above him. So much for a glorious morning. He stormed inside and shouted for Mr Simmons and Mrs Chisholm. He would get to the bottom of exactly how it had come to this point if it was the last thing he did.
Chapter Twenty-Three
‘What has happened?’ Mrs Chisholm asked.
Hattie rushed past her without a word, racing through the house with speed and purpose, then lifting her skirts and moving into a full sprint, taking the stairs two at a time to reach her chambers as fast as her clothing would allow. Hattie would not cry until she was alone.
Once she sealed the door of her chambers behind her and clicked the lock, she collapsed against the back of it, sliding down the wood to the floor in tears. Sobs, deep and loud, rose from her belly and she gave in to them as she pulled her knees to her chest, wrapped her arms around her legs, buried her face in the familiar scratchy material and cried. She would not pretend all was not lost when it was. Even she did not possess that much strength or will for deception. Ophelia and Trudy would tell her he was not worth her tears, but she set them free anyhow. Her heart was broken and her dreams for a fine future dashed.
Everything was in ruin.
And she was alone again, exactly as she had begun.
Why had she allowed herself to believe William was different and not a selfish and dishonourable man? She paused and sniffed, staring down at her hands. She believed it because hewasn’t. Williamwasgood, decent, and possessed a full and kind heart.
Losing him was as much her fault as his own. She had lied to him and deceived him by choice even though she knew how important the truth was to him because of his first wife. Hattie knew she was playing a very precarious and dangerous game and that it would end poorly the longer the farce went on. She was no fool, but she had acted like one. Now she wished she had told him the truth, but she had never been able to muster the courage. She feared he would have reacted as he had today.
No doubt she would have just lost him sooner. Wouldn’t she have?
Her tears were as much frustration over what she had done as they were hurt over his words and actions. There was no denying it.
She had skirted along the path of fancy, revelling in the pretence of it all as if shewereindeedLadyPenelope Denning. Now that the paper-doll house she had fabricated had crumbled down and disintegrated, she had no one to blame but herself. She had ignored so many moments when she could have told him the truth of who she was, but she had been desperate to keep the façade intact. Perhaps this was what she deserved, for she’d never believed he could love her as she was.
But that also wasn’t true. She deserved love. And their affection for one another was real no matter her real name or her station. If only she had believed in herself and in him. None of it mattered now, though, did it? There was a soft knock on the door. She held her breath.
Could it be William?
‘Hattie?’
Mrs Chisholm.
Hattie covered her mouth to prevent another sob. How she wanted to open the door and confide in her, but Hattie’sembarrassment and failure and loss kept her hidden. She hid like she had in the orphanage when she didn’t wish to be found.
‘He does not mean what he says,’ she began softly. So softly that it sent more tears down Hattie’s cheeks. ‘He is angry. Confused. And well…a man.’ Mrs Chisholm chuckled and paused. ‘I beg you. Do not leave.’ She sighed.
Hattie opened her mouth and almost replied to her, but she clamped her mouth shut.
‘But, if you must leave, please do not go without saying goodbye to us all. Please. We care for you, my dear. You have become…family.’
