Page 50 of Mixed Connection
Paloma sets out bakery goodies and coffees on the bar so the workers can all grab what they want as I unlock the front doors.
“Hey guys! Thank you so much, I know this is a lot of work for a weekend.” Each of them waves me off, smiling as they grab for a pastry and white paper cup.
Anderson reaches out and gives me a side hug as he also sips at the hot liquid. “It’s not too big a job, we’ve had worse. We have the blueprints and everything we need. It’ll be an easy job for everyone here,” he says, taking a side step so he is facing me. “What’s going on with your phone? I tried to call you so you knew we were on the way.”
For a man of few words, he’s got a lot to say today. “I broke it last night. I’ll get a new one once the bachelorette party is done. I’m not leaving this place until I absolutely need to.”
He nods his head and pats my shoulder before walking over to his team. I’m not sure if he notices the tiredness in my voice or the longing that I’m sure is in my eyes. His best friend is all I can think about and having Anderson here, now that I know Jameson co-owns Triple C, makes the situation that much harder. I have a few last minute follow-ups with inventory to get done, so I take this as an opportunity to get to it and make my way back to the office.
Anderson and the Triple C Crew made quick work cutting all the boards and already had a few bookshelves up by the time lunch rolled around. Paloma ordered sandwiches and pasta salad and made sure to serve the guys drinks as I finished up in the office. Without a phone I was way more productive than I normally am.
My hand hovers over the phone in my office as I consider calling Jameson. I half hoped that I would have gotten a call from him today, but I did ask for space and he wouldn’t know that I broke my phone last night. Shaking my head, I stuffmy hands in my pockets and leave the office, locking the door behind me.
“Holy shit!” The words fall from my mouth and I take in the library that is almost fully complete. What the hell! They’re fast.
“We are almost done. Just need to wrap the areas where the shelves meet, add the crown molding, and add the caulk to all the seams of paneling,” Anderson says to Paloma.
“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” she snickers, knowing damn well she heard him. He eyes her before shaking his head. Ignoring her antics, he walks over to his team to discuss the last bit of details and she bursts out laughing. I walk up next to her, bumping her shoulder with my own.
“He was talking aboutcockingthe seams, you’d know.” I nudge Lo and her fake gasp chokes her laughter. “I’m gonna clean up here, why don’t you run out and get the few pieces of decor we still need?”
I may have been in the office most of the day but I’m bea.Work needs to get done so that this weekend runs smoothly, I think to myself as I reach for the broom.
21
Alma
How am I going to kick Helen’s ass at our bowling league all wrapped up like this?
You’re not! You’ll need rest.
Bowling can wait.
Alma
Bowling waits for no one, youngin’.
This is not how I was expecting our night to end. I wanted to lay myself out and tell her—tell her how much I love her and want to be with her—but it didn’t feel right. Not when she asked for space. When I tell her I love her, I want her to know that it’s the truth and not because I’m trying to convince her.
And she isn’t wrong in how she feels. It’s only been a short time since I started thinking of moving back here and though I’ve pretty much made up my mind, I didn’t consider putting everything behind me. Before her, I would already have a new project lined up, but I don’t want another project that takes me further away from her. The last thing I want to do is jump into this without having all my ducks lined up. Hurting Cassidy is not a part of a decision I plan on ever making and being apart from her, even just for a night, hurts in a way that crumples my heart.
Rubbing my hand in a circle against my chest, I think of how her parents basically ignored her and how they were so dense they couldn’t care to see what their absence was doing to their daughter. It’s not a feeling I want her to ever associate with me. I pull my shoulders up to my ears in a deep inhale and remind myself again: giving her space will allow her to see just how true my feelings are.
I can already feel how tight and stiff my body is going to be in the morning from Anders’ hard-ass couch. I could have gone to a hotel, but after calling Anders and telling him everything that happened tonight, he told me his couch was always open to me no matter how much I hate it.
He blew my mind when I shared about her wanting space, because he agreed with her. Told me that if Cassidy is where my future lies then I need to tie up all the other loose ends and do what needs to be done. He said, “what’s a couple days in the grand scheme of forever” and he has a point.
So I’m going to take this weekend. When I’m done visiting with Alma I’ll come right back to her. Because though I love my work, I love her more. This isn’t a fling and I hope she knows that, she’s meant to be my girlfriend. That title feels so small in comparison to what I want with her. She’s my future and her struggles from her past are getting to her and we are going to fix that, she will always be my first choice.
Turning on my side, I fail in my attempt to get comfortable. I have a flight to catch at six in the morning but I don’t see sleep in my future anytime soon. I shift again, not finding a single spot of softness. Why spend so much damn money on a couch, if you can’t even kick your feet up in comfort?
Huffing a breath, I grab the remote off the coffee table and click on the television. Flipping through the channels, a true crime show fills the screen. Alma has turned me into a crime show junkie.
I didn’t realize I fell asleep until the alarm from my phone blares beneath the lumpy pillow my head rests on.These really are made for looks and not comfort,I think to myself as I stand and stretch, feeling as if I’ve been sleeping on bedrock instead of a gallery sofa. He needs to burn this fucking couch and I plan on bringing the matches.
Opening my text thread with my girl, I ramble off a quick text before pausing over the send arrow.She wants space, the little voice inside my head reminds me. For a moment the thought of deleting the message crosses my mind, but it’s only for a moment before I press send. I know she would rather know I was getting on the plane safely than to give her the space she asked for.
I know you said you wanted space, I wanted to let you know I’m heading to the airport.
