Page 57 of Villainous
“I lov—”
“I don’t want to hear the how much you love me bullshit. Because people who love someone don’t treat them the way you did.” She gets up from the blanket and dusts off her coat, her eyes glossy with tears. “We are never getting back together. There is no us. Now, get me the hell out of here and take me to AJ.”
Maya
I tried to fight back my angry tears on the way home, but I let them fall freely, and I scoot to the edge of the seat to put some distance between us. The nerve of Villainous to think we would have something real. That things would ever be the same between us. He hurt me to the bone. Yes, I hurt him the first time, and it was wrong for me to not tell him about AJ. I’m happy he spared my life, but I’m not going to just give myself up to him all willy-nilly because he decided to be the Grinch and grow a fucking heart. I knew him taking me to the Brooklyn Bridge Park meant that he wanted to rekindle what we had when we were in high school. Like, how arrogant is he to think I will take him back? Just because my heart is begging me to be with him doesn’t mean I’m going to go back to him. It hurts me just as much as him that we can’t be together. It takes every ounce of me to tell him no. To walk away from him. My heart has been ripped from my chest and stomped on so many times that I think I’m going to lose my mind.
When I get back to the manor, I’m going to play Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never Getting Back Together.” I glance at him, and sadness haunts his eyes. Maybe he is sorry for how he treated me, but I don’t care. I just want to focus on taking care of AJ and finding work so I can support myself. I know Villainous is going to be a great dad and pay child support, and I’m going to hire a lawyer so we can get custody papers, so we can decide when he gets him and when I have him once this bullshit with my ma passes over.
Maya
After everyone goes to bed, I perch in a chair with a mug of hot cocoa in my hand. I feel so exhausted from the bullshit I’ve been going through. First, my mother tricked me out of my child—I’m glad Villainous is torturing her. She deserves it for how she treated me. Normally, I would be all for people getting their karma, but sometimes you have to be karma and get payback. The thought of not having my son back… I’m going to go to her tomorrow and maybe speak to her about it. See if I can sway her to give me my son back.
Second, it’s Villainous. I love this man with every fiber of my body. I think about our disaster of a date we had. He means well, he really does, but I don’t think I can overlook how he treated me. Tears trickle down my cheeks as I continue to stare at the warm fire. I’m afraid if I take him back, I won’t be able to forgive him because of the hurt we caused each other. We’re just a recipe for disaster. We were so good together, sometimes I believe the universe had made me for him—that’s how much we connected. Or the universe could be playing a trick on us, and we’re just bad for each other. Either-or, it doesn’t stop me from being in love with him or the pull he has on me. That doesn’t stop my heart from going haywire in my chest or the butterflies in my stomach when he’s around.
Villainous walks in, wearing a pair of pajama pants and no shirt. My mouth waters at the sight of him, and I swallow thickly. We hold each other’s stares for a few seconds before he breaks our gaze and plops in the chair next to me.
“I didn’t know you were up.”
He strokes his fingers against my cheekbones, and desire blossoms in my stomach as my cheeks heat from his touch. Without thinking, I lean closer, embracing his warmth, and I stop myself. I want to kiss him and hug him so bad; I want to crawl onto his lap and snuggle with him like old times, but I don’t. I continue to slouch in my chair and drink my hot cocoa without responding.
“AJ is just now falling asleep. He’s a night owl.”
“He gets it from you,” I respond.
I want to say so much to him about how I still love him and yearn for him. Damn heart always getting in the way of my brain.
“True.”
He leans back into the leather chair, and my eyes venture to his gray sweatpants outlining his dick. My mouth waters at the sight. He clears his throat, and my gaze ventures up, and I want to slap that stupid smirk off his face. He caught me red-handed staring at his junk.
His eyes drop down to my thin shirt and widen at my hard nipples brushing against the fabric.
“I’m going to bed now,” I say, getting up from my chair and sitting my mug on it.
“Wait.” He gets up and stands so close to me that I can feel his body heat.
He grabs both of my hands and gazes into my eyes again. Sadness plays on his face.
“You know I’m stubborn. I’m not going to give up on us.”
Normally, I would have something snappy to say, but I don’t feel like arguing with him.
“You know I’ll do anything for you, and I love you,” he murmurs, pulling on my jeans as he keeps staring into my eyes.
Slowly, he unbuttons and unzips them, pulling them down. I don’t even stop him because I need him more than the sun and air. I want him. I’ve always wanted him.
“I love you, li—Maya.”
I’ve been in love with him since I was a kid, and true love never goes away.
“Just because we love each other doesn’t mean we are meant for each other.” I finally admit to how I’ve been feeling toward him. Tears wet my eyes, and pain shoots into my chest. I’m so sick of all the crying I’ve been doing for the last few weeks.
“Bullshit. I’ve forgiven you for leaving me. Forgive me.”
“I don’t know.”
“Try at least.”
