Page 20 of Villainous
My brother knows how much I am in love with her. I’ll never admit to him how much I care about her, because I never was the type to share my feelings. I like to internalize shit and keep it to myself.
He also doesn’t know she left me without telling me why. But he knows she broke my heart. I haven’t gotten over the fact that she left me, and I don’t think I ever will. I needed her the most during that time. Life has taught me people you care about will leave you high and dry before considering your needs; that’s why I never took the time to date other women. It’s why I kept women as pets. It was easier for me to not get involved with them emotionally. I’ll use and abuse them because they’re disposable, but I never thought of Maya as being disposable.
Even now, I want to hurt her like she hurt me. She was hurt I made her give me a blow job in front of all the men at the meeting. The look on her face when she looked up at me as she sucked my dick resurfaced the feelings I had for her in high school. I felt remorse for hurting her, but that’s not going to make me go easy on her. I’m still going to punish her for how she left me, even if she doesn’t tell me why she left.
“Living,” I answer.
“Whatever she did to you, you need to let it go. Life is too short to be holding on to bullshit you can’t control because it will eat you up inside.”
I don’t respond but continue to puff on my cigarette.
I hear the door slide open, and we both turn around and see Roselyn wearing a thick, dark robe and house slippers shaped like bunnies. She has bags under her eyes, her skin paler than usual, and a tiny baby bump that you would have to really look at her for you to see it. Her curly strawberry blonde hair cascades down her back.
“Is everything all right? Why are you guys standing in the cold?” Her tone is soft, angelic.
I really like Roselyn. She’s good with Devious. She doesn’t allow bullshit to get to her, and she reminds me a lot of Maya, but Maya is crazier than Roselyn.
I toss my cigarette to the dark concrete. “I was out here having a smoke. I didn’t mean to worry you, doll face.”
“The doctor told you to lie in bed, nymph,” Devious says with worry in his tone.
“I know what the doctor said, Devious. I was there, remember? I’m tired of lying down and being bored. I get you’re worried, but sheesh. You’re being overbearing,” she snaps.
Devious’s shoulders stiffen, and he pulls her into a hug and plants a kiss on her forehead.
Rubbing her belly, she says, “Whoa. I felt Enzo kick.”
“Can I feel?” I ask her.
“Not until you lie on the couch,” Devious orders, tugs on her arm and ushers her to the living room. Once she’s perched on the beige couch, Devious snatches a bunch of colorful pillows and sets them behind her back.
“You get to touch my wife one time,” Devious warns me.
Possessive bastard.I don’t want Roselyn; she’s like a sister to me. I roll my eyes, and I rest my hands on her belly. Her stomach shifts, and I feel a light thud.
“It’s cool, isn’t it? He loves apple juice and grapefruit juice.”
“Oh, yeah? How do you know?”
“Well…because when I drink them, he kicks like crazy,” she says with delight in her tone.
“Move, Aiden. It’s my turn,” Devious demands, sitting at the end of the couch and propping Roselyn’s legs on his lap.
I get up from the couch and lean against the pale wall. Devious lowers his hands on her stomach, and his eyes light up like city lights at night. He kisses Roselyn on the lips, and then he kisses her belly.
“I love you, Roselyn.”
Her cheeks turn beet red. “I love you too. But can you be a little lenient on me about wanting to do things? I’m already exhausted by the little guy, but when I do have energy, I still like to get in the kitchen and cook or paint.”
He nods and kisses her belly. “I’m worried about your safety.”
“I know, and I love you for it.”
If Maya hadn’t run off, would she have been pregnant with my child? Would she have continued to love me? Would we be as happy as we were in high school? I don’t know, but seeing them happy makes me so angry, so I ball up my fists and keep them in my pockets. My dreams were shattered and stomped on. I might not be the type of guy wanting a famiglia like my twin, but I would have done it for Maya. I might not be a kid person, but I would have been a great father, better than my own. If she wanted to spend the whole day catching the cooties, I would have done it, as long as she was by my side. Here I am looking at a shattered picture of a dream that was taken from me. I can’t take them being in love and being happy, so without a word, I leave Devious’s manor.
Maya
Ilay my head back on the small pillow as I lie in the cool water in the white glass tub. My eyes focus on the seashells painted black and baby blue in a frame on the dark wall.
