Page 50 of Note to Self

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“He looks good with her.” Mum gives me a nudge in the ribs with her elbow. “You’ve done an amazing job, Merlin. I had my worries when you decided to move here, but I’m glad you proved them empty. You’ve got a good life down here.”

“You and Dad should retire and relocate. Calston Cove is a good place to live.” I nudge her back. “Dad’s in his element.” He’s talking animatedly to Ivan as they look at all the machinery. “I can see him on that little tractor.”

She laughs. “Oh god, don’t encourage him.”

Trent walks up to us, sans Willow. “Isn’t it brilliant!” He looks so happy I can’t help but wrap my arm around his waist and kiss the top of his head. “I can’t believe it’s the same place you showed me last summer. We could hardly make it up the lane. You’re so clever.”

“I think it was more hard labour than brain work, babe. And you helped too. The beehives are yours.”

“They’re not exactly hard work. Admit it. You haven’t needed to go to Brodie’s gym since you started it.” He grins at my mum. “He’s got muscles to die for, even his muscles have muscles.”

“On that note, I’ll go and see if I can stop your father from having a go on the tractor.” She pats Trent’s arm. “It’s good to know his hard work is appreciated.” She winks. Bloody winks.

It’s time to mingle. It looks like the whole town has come to see what I’ve done with the space. A fair few of them are buying plants too. It was a good idea of Trent’s to make up hanging baskets full of pansies and violets. They seem to be going well. Benny is with Jethro, looking so loved up after what was a rocky start, and then Roddy turned up on Jet’s doorstep in the early part of the year and has stayed. It seems there’s something about this place that has children turning up in the lives of all the gay men. What would Trent say to children?Someone mentioned it a while ago. I can’t even remember who it was. We never discussed it again.

“Congratulations,” Benny says. “Are you going to sell your produce? It’s not just plants for sale. You’re growing your own fruit and veg too?”

“I am. This is a way of keeping the income coming in. I’m going organic. Around the back of the trees, I’ve got greenhouses for summer veg and lettuces. I didn’t want to risk putting it all in the ground. The rabbits are very friendly, but they take as much as they can. Even our cats can’t keep up with them.” I point past my house. “The ground veg, potatoes, onions, et cetera, will go in some of these beds.”

“Would you be interested in supplying me?” Benny asks.

That comes as a surprise. I hadn’t thought about that.

“In fact, I’m sure a lot of the restaurants would be interested.”

I’m a little lost for words but manage to find my tongue. “I would love to. I’m happy to grow to order too if it’s something you use a lot of. Trent has bees as well, so we should be having honey soon.”

“We should get chickens too. Then we can sell the eggs.” Trent is obviously keen on the idea.

I’d wanted to have them, but I have never looked after farm animals before.

“What do you think, Jet?” Trent asks. “Is it a good idea to have chickens? I’d want them to be free range, or would foxes attack them?”

I let them talk about the pros and cons of keeping chickens and take Benny to see the greenhouses. “Trent seems happier lately,” Benny says as we look over the plants I’ve started. “It was a terrible thing to happen. We were all very worried about you both.”

“Thank you, and yes, we’re both doing well. It took a while, but it’s behind us now.”

He doesn’t say anymore, sensing the topic is over.

“I’m exhausted.” Trent flops down on the sofa, puts his feet up on the ottoman, and gratefully accepts the glass of wine I hold out to him. “It was a great day, Merlin. Congratulations.”

“It’s yours too, baby. You’ve worked hard here as well.” I tap my glass to his. “When do we get chickens, then?”

His smile is bright. “I’ve got a lot of reading up to do before I commit to that. From what Jet says, it’s not as easy as it sounds. But it’s something I’d like to investigate. Maybe when it gets a bit warmer. I don’t fancy building a coop and enclosure in the rain.”

I’m trying to think of a way to bring the conversation to children. Seeing all our friends with kids did something to me, for sure. “It’s strange that all our friends are parents one way or another, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, I kind of think we’re the odd ones out now.”

“Do you want kids?” As I sip my wine, I watch his reaction. The small, sweet smile tells me all I need to know.

“Yeah, one day. But I’d like a child who needs a home rather than using a surrogate. Not that there’s anything wrong with going down that path. Josh and Merrick used one, but lots of children are overlooked for adoption because most couples want babies.”

“Yeah? What sort of time is one day?” I’m not going to tie him down to any timeline he has in his head, but after everything that’s happened, we both know how quickly life can change.

“You want them too?” He looks surprised. “You didn’t seem that keen when Merrick joked about it.”

“I’d forgotten it was Merrick. But yeah, I’ve been thinking about it. Maybe in a year or so. We’ve got enough on our hands at the moment.”