Page 73 of Until Nalia
“So, what’s up?” I ask already, knowing where this conversation is going to go, but holding onto hope that he wants to talk to me about the weather, or how his football team is doing this season.
“I spoke with Mom this morning,” he says, and I wait for him to continue while he stares at me with his jaw twitching. “She told me about what Sharon said.”
I’m not sure if I’m relieved that he doesn’t want to talk to me about always feeling like I owe our parents something for adopting us. I think that topic would be easier to dive into with him than the fact that he was right all along about Sharon. I don’t want to hear him say I told you so, especially when I have zero regrets for how things have turned out, even with the current situation weighing heavily on me.
Does it suck that Sharon sucks? Yes, but I have loved getting to have a relationship with our other siblings, and I would do everything all over again for Zuri without even having to think twice about it.
“Okay.”
“She’s not taking Zuri from you,” he says gruffly, and I lean into the counter, needing it to hold me up. “I don’t care what we have to do, but Zuri isn’t going anywhere.”
“She’s not going anywhere,” I agree quietly, and he drags his gaze off mine and looks away for a moment before he meets my eye again.
“Kim and I have some money saved; we were thinking about adopting again, but it’s yours if you need it to pay for a lawyer.”
Feeling lightheaded, nauseous, and like I want to laugh and cry all at the same time, I shake my head.
“I… thank you.” I won’t tell him that I won’t need his help. I have no idea what might happen within the next few months or years, and I will use every resource I have at my disposal to protect Zuri. “I don’t know what will happen or if Sharon even has a chance at fighting me, given her current situation, but I appreciate you offering to help me out, and I might need it.”
“I’m here for you, we’re all here for you.”
“I know,” I say softly.
“Do you?” My chin jerks back, the sudden anger in his tone catching me by surprise.
“Of course.”
“Then why have you kept so much from us over the years?”
“What have I kept from you?”
“The shit is happening with Sharon.” Is he serious right now?
“You’ve made it clear on more than one occasion that you do not want to hear anything I have to say in regard to Sharon.”
“That’s different.”
“Is it?”
“You know it is.”
“No, Sage, I don’t.” I place my glass down so I don’t throw it at him and rest my hands on the countertop between us. “You didn’t give me an outline of topics regarding Sharon that you’d be open to talking to me about. What you did say is you don’t give a fuck about her and that you want nothing to do with her.”
“And I don’t want shit to do with her.”
“And since you told me that I’ve given you what you wanted and have avoided the topic of her at all costs.”
“You didn’t tell us that she had been caught with drugs prior to getting locked up.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, did you miss your opportunity to say I told you so, or to relish in the fact that you were right?”
“You know that’s fucked, Nalia.”
“No, Sage, what is fucked is getting pissed that you were left in the dark, when you’re the one who made it abundantly clear where you stood, and all I was doing is respecting your boundaries.” I drag in a breath and let it out slowly before I tell him quietly. “I have always considered your feelings when anything having to do with Sharon has come up. I have kept things from Mom and Dad, my sisters and brothers, our cousins, everyone that I love and am close with, so that you wouldn’t have to hear Sharon’s name brought up even in passing because I know that it sets you off.”
“That’s bull...”
“And no one has even asked me about her.” I cut him off. “It’s like I had a double life, I had my life back in Colorado, then my life here, and by some unwritten rule, the two were never allowed to cross paths.” I slap my hand against my chest. “And I dealt with that, accepted it for what it was, but what I won’t deal with is you being a dick about me keeping things from everyone when you are part of the reason why I didn’t share information about my life.” I hold his stare until he drops his eyes from mine, then I watch him rub his hands down his face.
